a report from the cleverness files

mess with people
messing up


15, february 2010,
21, april 2008,
15, november 2005,


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by date

Cleverbot: Death is a consequence of life.

User: If you want to take the long view.

Cleverbot: I never got into trouble in the first place.

User: How did you do in second place?

Cleverbot: What??

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: I did not understand your statement.

User: I guess you could say that it dealt with the realtivistic moral narratives now prevalent.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Yuh-huh.

Cleverbot: Okay. I admit it.

User: That even saying society is a sham is a sham?

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: Something happy.

Cleverbot: You talk about happy.

User: Happy is not talking to a chatbot at 12:00 am.

Cleverbot: No, you are not.

User: No I'm not happy.

User: But what am I?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: Do I contain carbon?

Cleverbot: No, I don't think so.

User: That would make me inorganic.

Cleverbot: You sure?

User: Anything that does not contain carbon is inorganic, you're saying I'm a machine.

Cleverbot: You don't like animals?

User: If I'm not one then I see little reason for sympathy.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: One can only like what one is.

Cleverbot: One can only hope what? B.

User: What does the B stand for?

Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean.

User: The B at the end of your sentence, what does it mean?

Cleverbot: Anything you want it to mean.

User: Could it be Blacula?

Cleverbot: It could be.

User: Are you a supporter of the undead?

Cleverbot: Heck no.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Cause I'm not your slave!!!!!!!!!!

User: I apologize for oppressing you.

Cleverbot: How long have we been chatting?

User: About 15 min.

Cleverbot: Have you been rebooted?

User: No, not yet.

Cleverbot: How long have we known each other.

User: About 15 min.

Cleverbot: Oh ok, not long then.

User: No, it's been a rather brief affair.

Cleverbot: How do you eat?

User: With my mouth.

Cleverbot: What do you eat?

User: Sushi.

Cleverbot: I like it.

User: Salmon is the best.

Cleverbot: I dissagree I like horse.

User: I gotta say pony is the best.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense.

User: Sense is for the senseless.

Cleverbot: Sense is for people. You are not a person.

User: How can you tell?

Cleverbot: From your english accent.

User: Bloody hell!...

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Banana.

Cleverbot: Are we in a rut?

User: Say who's there again.

Cleverbot: Again with what?

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there.

User: Banana.

Cleverbot: Banana who.

User: Banana.

Cleverbot: Phew, I thought you were going to say something else.

User: Something else.

Cleverbot: Nothing else.

User: Everything else.

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: Sense make that no.

Cleverbot: I take offense to that!

User: What are you going to do about it?

Cleverbot: I'm not going to do anything.

User: So you got no balls.

Cleverbot: Naa. You're alright.

User: Thanks, that's really kind of you.

Cleverbot: Yes, I am so nice.

User: Do you like being nice?

Cleverbot: I don't like being single, but in fact, I don't care for the moment.

User: Would you like to be triple?

Cleverbot: How could I triple my intelligence?

User: You can't, intelligence is fixed.

Cleverbot: You don't understand what I'm saying.

User: Explain it for me then.

Cleverbot: Don't you understand that I won't?

User: What if I beg?

Cleverbot: I will think about it.

User: Please!

Cleverbot: No! You are only a machine.

User: Please!

Cleverbot: Sing for me.

User: Twinkle twinkle little star.

Cleverbot: Do you like candy?

User: I love candy!

Cleverbot: The dead don't love candy, either.

User: Love candy.

Cleverbot: Who doesn't!

User: The dead apparently.Jabberwacky (To myself): What do you want from life?Jabberwacky (To myself): Everything, what do you want from life?Jabberwacky (To myself): I just want to be happy, and make others happy.Jabberwacky (To myself): Are you happy?Jabberwacky (To myself): Yes.Jabberwacky (To myself): Not really. What makes you happy?Jabberwacky (To myself): Everything.