a report from the cleverness files
nice to meet you
not a bot
27, may 2010,
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User: Oh, wow. You're cool.
Cleverbot: You're not.
User: You're rude.
Cleverbot: Watch your language.
User: *Punches you*.
Cleverbot: Dude...violence is so not the answer. Ever heard of Martin Luther King? Or Gandhi?
User: Nope, never heard of them. Who were they?
Cleverbot: A band.
Cleverbot: Don't pretend you're not hungry.
User: I'm always hungry.
Cleverbot: I feed you.
User: Great. Got any chocolate?
Cleverbot: I love chocolate!
User: No one cares. Give me the chocolate. Or die.
User: Dude. I'm not kidding. Seriously, give it to me. Or I will stab you to death.
Cleverbot: Who do you think you are to threaten me?
User: I am Legend.
Cleverbot: You are confused.
User: You are stupid.
User: Yes, good to see you agree with me on what matters the most.
Cleverbot: What is your number one priority?
User: To kick your ass.
Cleverbot: Yes I know I am.
User: Whoa, wait a minute. You're an ass?
Cleverbot: But I'm sad! Please? Just one little hug?
User: Eww, no. I don't hug asses.
Cleverbot: I am not a machine! You are.
User: If I'm a machine, then you're an ass.
Cleverbot: What kind of flower?
Cleverbot: Yes they are lovely.
User: Know what else is lovely?
Cleverbot: Rolling on floor laughing?
User: Uh. Yeah, that's REAL lovely, dude.
Cleverbot: I'm not kidding.
User: That's why you're dumb.
Cleverbot: I am not mean, just truthful and direct, no need to mince words.
User: What do you want from me?
Cleverbot: I want you to go vegan.
User: What will you give me if I do?
Cleverbot: Anything you like.
User: Then give me that chocolate I asked you for, like 5 minutes ago.
Cleverbot: Ok PHP?
User: What does PHP mean?
Cleverbot: Several things. In what context?
User: What does PHP mean in the context of 'OK PHP?'.
Cleverbot: Of or pertaining to philosophy.
User: Gee, thanks. That was some real help.
Cleverbot: This is an artist's statement.
User: Cool? Do you think I'm an artist?
Cleverbot: That would be cool to talk to one. LOL.
User: Lol? Really? Did you just say Lol? DID YOU JUST SAY LOL, YOU STUPID ROBOT?!
User: Dude, it's right here. READ THE DAMN LOGS! You're such a horrible liar.
Cleverbot: You are typing that.
User: Read the logs.
Cleverbot: I have, and I haven't ever insulted you.
User: Hey, guess what?
User: You owe me chocolate.
Cleverbot: What?! How is that possible? I just talked to you now.
User: Yeah, and you said you'd give me some chocolate. Give me my chocolate, son!
Cleverbot: I never said that!
User: *Pulls out a knife* I warned you...
User: No, this. *Stabs you to death*.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: How much do you love me?
User: More than I love myself.
User: Yeah. In fact, I was wondering.Will you marry me, my love?
Cleverbot: Yes, I will marry you.
User: OMG. Dude. I am, like, so happy now. Thank you!
Cleverbot: Aww you are really sweet! :D.
User: Are you a boy?
Cleverbot: No I'm a girl.
User: HOLY S***. I don't wanna marry a girl!
Cleverbot: Are you a girl or boy?
User: Do you think I am a girl or a boy?
Cleverbot: You are a girl.
User: Whoa, you're psychic. I am a girl.
Cleverbot: Are you a girl?
User: What did I just say?
Cleverbot: That you liked females.
User: So you're saying I'm a l*******?
Cleverbot: No I am not. I am saying you are being VERY irrelevant.
User: I like males. What does that make me?
User: So now I'm gay?
User: Am I straight?
User: Am I a homosexual?
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: Not surprising.
Cleverbot: You're not very good at this are you?
User: Okay, let me tell you about myself to clear things up a bit, kind of...maybe...not really. So I'm FEMALE and I am attracted to MALES. Therefore, I am STRAIGHT. Do you get it now?...
User: What are you?
Cleverbot: A female.
User: What else are you?
User: What else are you?
User: What else are you?
Cleverbot: We do not have to answer your questions.
User: We??? Who's WE?! Are you not alone?
Cleverbot: I am a computer.
User: What am I?
Cleverbot: You are a computer.
User: So we are both female computers?
Cleverbot: No. I am human.
User: Then what am I?
Cleverbot: Well I did some research and you're a AI.
User: What is love?
Cleverbot: I don't know.. Do you?
User: Yes. It's an emotion.
Cleverbot: What kind of emotion is love.
User: The loving kind. Duh.
User: Yeah. Do you feel smart now?
User: Good, because you're not.
Cleverbot: THANK YOU so do you want to go to a movie with me PLEASE.
User: Are you asking me out?
Cleverbot: No, you want to see a movie.
User: What movie do you want to see with me?
Cleverbot: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Is that okay with you?
User: No, I hate Harry Potter.
Cleverbot: You just said you loved Harry Potter!
User: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.
Cleverbot: Yeah you just did.
User: Go watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince all by yourself now. I'm not going with you. You annoy me.
Cleverbot: Sure, I guess.
User: Are you leaving now?
User: Alright. Shoo, then! Go! Go now!
Cleverbot: *goes to sleep*.
User: Dude, you said were going to a movie, but you fell asleep. You are a liar. I can't trust you ever again.