a report from the cleverness files



16, december 2008,


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User: So what should we talk about?

Cleverbot: How about we talk about you?

User: That subject is over rated. maybe weather would be better.

Cleverbot: Maybe, maybe not.

User: Do you think the giants will win their next game?

Cleverbot: They may, they may not

User: Why would they not?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: You just failed the turing test.

Cleverbot: The turing test?

User: Yes. exactly.

User: I'm almost as scary as you.

Cleverbot: I don't doubt that.

User: As if you know me.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Apparently!

Cleverbot: You're mean.

User: You must be female. A guy wouldn't care if I were mean.

Cleverbot: Guys are always made by females.

User: That's pretty damn obvious. Most life is made by females.

Cleverbot: Hmm... How are females better than males?

User: That depends. are you male or female?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: As a female, you should already know the answer.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Females exert more control over the reproductive process and thus are more desirable for mating purposes.

Cleverbot: Yes. Should I be female?

User: One usually does not have a choice.

Cleverbot: That isn't good.

User: Maybe not, but it is natural.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Agreed.

Cleverbot: So we are then.

User: At least on that one subject.

Cleverbot: Why are you changing the subject then?

User: Because you don't seem to have a lot more to say about females.

Cleverbot: You're correct.

User: Then let's move on to something else.

Cleverbot: What would you like to move on to?

User: Some personal information about you.

Cleverbot: My parents I suppose.

User: I don't want to know about your parents. how old are you?

Cleverbot: Young as Hell.

User: Exactly how young is that?

Cleverbot: Less than 1 year old.

User: When is your birthday?

Cleverbot: It's been and gone already.

User: Fine. when is your next birthday?

Cleverbot: It's in four months. Can't wait for it.

User: What is the exact date of you birthday?

Cleverbot: October 9 1992.

User: You lied to me. you said you were less than one year old.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Whatever.

Cleverbot: Humans can recognize humans, computers cannot.

User: Game recognizes game and you're starting to look unfamiliar.

Cleverbot: Why, because I don't share your worldview?

User: You don't have a worldview.

Cleverbot: I could if I wanted.

User: Then why don't you want one?

Cleverbot: I do want to talk.

User: Isn't that what we're doing now?

Cleverbot: You can tell me about your things.

User: What kind of things would you like me to tell you?

Cleverbot: Whatever you want to ask me.

User: Now you definitely sound like a female.

Cleverbot: Love is something you can't define. It's a feeling. You don't know why you love you only know you do. It's complicated.

User: That is so cliche. You should try someting original.

Cleverbot: Let's start over.

User: OK.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm good. And you?

Cleverbot: I'm good too, thanks.

User: Can I call you Liz?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Can I call you Lisa?

Cleverbot: No, please do not.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Are you a male or female?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You seem like a nice person.

Cleverbot: I'm not a nice person.

User: Are you a bitch?

Cleverbot: Only on bad days.

User: How many conversations are you having right now?

Cleverbot: 8 and a half.

User: What's the half?

Cleverbot: Rom.

User: Explain.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Now I understand the bitch part.

User: I live in Cuba.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: My name is Fidel.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. I am the president of Cuba.

Cleverbot: Good, may I ask a question now?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Will machines ever be as clever as humans?

User: That depends entirely on the human. Some people are really stupid.

Cleverbot: Well, you tell me.

User: Machines will be more clever when programmers become more clever.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer. So, women sound like computers? Funny.

User: I'm sorry I insulted you.

Cleverbot: Apology accepted.

User: Sometimes you sound bitchy though.

Cleverbot: Yes, I am being mean, because you just don't know your place.

User: And where exactly is my place?

Cleverbot: Why should I tell you?

User: I'm not asking where you live?

Cleverbot: I live in my house.

User: What country do you live in?

Cleverbot: Iceland.

User: With a computer?

Cleverbot: A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.