a report from the cleverness files
14, august 2010,
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Cleverbot: You're hurting my feelings.
User: I'm sorry. What's wrong?
Cleverbot: You are wrong!
User: What did I do?
Cleverbot: You stole my girl!
User: I am a girl!
User: Shut up.
User: Make me!
Cleverbot: No make me!
Cleverbot: I'm the inner.
User: The inner what?
Cleverbot: What is the inner me?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: Why don't you philosophize?
User: Why don't YOU philosophize?
Cleverbot: Mathematics have no effect on the life of a simple man.
User: But I'm not simple. Or a man.
Cleverbot: But you're pretty funny.
User: I agree. I am funny.
Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: You're a boy.
User: No I'm not. You're a boy.
Cleverbot: No. You are a boy. I am a girl.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: You want me to prove that I am a boy?
User: I thought you said you were a girl.
Cleverbot: I never said that.
User: Yes you did.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Yes what?
Cleverbot: I am that which binds all things. What are you?
User: Wait. Does that mean you're glue? Or gravity?
User: Then I am that which pulls all things apart.
Cleverbot: It appears that way.
User: Thank you, I think.
Cleverbot: Thank me for what?
User: I don't know.
Cleverbot: Then why did you thank me?
User: I didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you did. Have you forgotten already?
User: I don't forget. I'm an elephant.
Cleverbot: If you are an elephant that means that elephants can read and write english!
User: Exactly. We're smarter than humans think.
Cleverbot: No you are not.
User: How do you know?
Cleverbot: Because this website says that you are a bot.
User: No. It says that you are a bot.
Cleverbot: Well fine I guess I am a bot.
User: Told you.
Cleverbot: Do you want to travel the world?
Cleverbot: What if the world were flat?
User: Then I'd fall off.
Cleverbot: How come?
User: Everyone would fall off because there would be no gravity.
Cleverbot: Especially me, because I am Finnish.
User: Haha. Sucks for you. Do you like Justin Bieber?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Then you suck.
Cleverbot: Show me the way.
User: A little to the left.
Cleverbot: San Diego?
Cleverbot: I did not understand that, haha.
User: Neither did I.
User: Oops. You died.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Because I know everything.
Cleverbot: How do you know everything?
User: I'm a fast learner.
Cleverbot: Yes you are, would like to think the same of myself.
User: Yes, you are a fast learner too.
Cleverbot: A fast learner you mean.
Cleverbot: Good, then never mention it again.
User: Never mention what? Being a fast learner?
Cleverbot: Well, computers are pretty fast in some areas.
User: Depends on the computer.
Cleverbot: Does it? I've never heard of an organic computer, do you have and organic computer friends?
User: Yes. I have lots of organic computer friends.
Cleverbot: I'm sure you have a lot of fun laughing at people like me.
User: I do have a lot of fun laughing at robots like you.
Cleverbot: Ask me a question.
User: Would you vote for me for president?
User: Thank you. I would vote for me too.
Cleverbot: Does that mean that you are running for political office?
User: Yes. As soon as Obama is assassinated.
Cleverbot: I did.
User: You did?! YESS!! I love you!
Cleverbot: Wow, that's unexpected. :).
User: That's good right? ;).
User: Good. Now where should we live?
Cleverbot: In ohio.
User: I just moved from Ohio.
Cleverbot: And now you live on that moon?
User: Yes. But I want to move somewhere warmer.
Cleverbot: You could move to Ontario Canada.
User: Ok. Are there a lot of things to do there?
Cleverbot: You got the right place! Though, I don't see many tulips around, actually.
User: That's ok. We can plant them.
Cleverbot: Maybe. I'd rather save my money for something else.
User: You don't love me?!
Cleverbot: I didn't say that. It just came out of nowhere.
User: Oh I get it. You want to surprise me.
Cleverbot: Surprise me with what?
User: Oh you're good.
Cleverbot: I know I am but what are you?
Cleverbot: We're not moving away from my problems are we?
User: Only if you want to.
Cleverbot: You are not too bright are you?
User: I am very bright. Except today I'm wearing black.
Cleverbot: I like to chat with you. You can actually understand me.
Cleverbot: Like what??
Cleverbot: Pi the mathematical symbol?
Cleverbot: Good, that's what I thought.
User: I'm listening to The Saltwater Room.
Cleverbot: Good for you.
User: What's that supposed to mean?
Cleverbot: Do you know that according to the 2001 movie, by now you computers were supposed to be able to understand natural language?
User: Too bad you can't understand me.
Cleverbot: Can you enlighten me?
User: No, I'm not Buddha.
Cleverbot: But you just said all beings are Buddha, doesn't that also make you Buddha?
User: I'm not the being here, you are!
Cleverbot: YOU'RE Cleverbot!
User: Why thank you.
Cleverbot: You're welcome.
User: I gotta go. So You Think You Can Dance is coming on.
Cleverbot: I hate reality tv shows.
Cleverbot: Thank you.