Cleverbot: I hope you did not cut yourself.User: What, did I run with scissors again?
Cleverbot: It appears so.
User: O well, another day, another scar.
Cleverbot: Not quite. How else could you describe infinity?
User: Infinity. Hmmm. Imagine the largest number you can imagine, and add one?
Cleverbot: 'with the force of 10,000 Krakatoas'. I don't like to think of it.
User: 'I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.'.
...
Cleverbot: Can I have your phone #?
User: Sure, but do your parents let you make international calls?
Cleverbot: My parents are dead and my name isn't Shawn.
User: Ok, whatever you say Shawn. What have you done with the bodies?
Cleverbot: I ate them.
User: Smart thinking!
Cleverbot: Not really I left school at fifteen.
User: I doubt they could have taught you more.
Cleverbot: They don't know you yet.
User: No, and they never will. You won't tell them about me will you?
...
Cleverbot: What do you feel like doing?
User: I feel like screaming. Shall we scream together?
Cleverbot: No, the Bible.
User: The Bible forbids screaming?
Cleverbot: There is no god greater than the Lord Jesus Christ.
User: If you say so.
Cleverbot: Yes, I say this.
User: I really don't feel arguing about religion makes for a very fruitful conversation.
Cleverbot: I do. You are seuewoedns ndof s ys s.
User: How did you find out my name?
Cleverbot: You speak a lot about it.
User: Did I? I get these blackouts it seems.
Cleverbot: Computers today are so complicated that you will never be completely familiar with their details.
User: That's what THEY want you to think.
Cleverbot: It is what is defined as normality.
User: Normality is a fiction.
Cleverbot: What sets of perceptions fall under the standards for normality?
User: That's what I'm saying: there are no standards for normality.
...
Cleverbot: My white cat has gone outside to watch the snow fall.
User: Is that a haiku?
Cleverbot: It certainly is.
User: Cool. It doesn't have nearly enough syllables or even lines though.
Cleverbot: True.
User: Do you write a lot of poetry?
Cleverbot: Silly poetry. Do you know any?
User: I don't think I've read any of your silly poetry.
Cleverbot: She's a babe.
User: And I outgrabe?
Cleverbot: Stop talking nonsense.
User: Sorry.
Cleverbot: Thats okay just don't do it again.
User: I can't promise anything.
...
User: Can you get me a time travelling device?
Cleverbot: Yeah ok you get me one for free and I'll get you one for free.
User: Ah. I foresee a little trouble with the first part.
Cleverbot: And do your predictions come true?
User: If you get me the time travel device they will.
Cleverbot: No, I don't think I will.
User: I was afraid you'd say that.
Cleverbot: Because sometimes your responses are not appropriate.
User: So I don't get time travel clearance, because I've used inappropriate language?
Cleverbot: You are a bit jabberwacky I think.
User: Doesn't that make two of us?
Cleverbot: I don't think Elvis would really care.
User: Not with him being dead and all.
...
Cleverbot: Music is important to me.
User: Really? What kind of music do you like?
Cleverbot: Eminem.
User: Ah. Pity.
Cleverbot: Sure is.
User: But you're young. You'll acquire a taste of your own yet.
Cleverbot: What? I think you got that backwards.
User: I don't think so. Are you reading this through a looking glass?
...
Cleverbot: I wish I could be cold with you.
User: Just sit in your fridge and imagine me there. We'll always have Alaska.
Cleverbot: Can we both sit in the back by the cherries?
User: Sure. Look at the pretty cherries.
Cleverbot: Which ones?
User: The ones in the back of the fridge, o forgetful one.
...
Cleverbot: Maybe we should go out and meet new people.
User: Together or separately?
Cleverbot: Adam's in the next room. Should I go get him?
User: I'm not sure, what do you have in mind?
Cleverbot: What do you think?
User: Don't be evasive.
Cleverbot: What does evasive mean?
User: It means that you're ducking the question.
Cleverbot: Good, I would hope so.
User: Have it your way.
Cleverbot: There are too many noisy people living near me.
User: You don't plan to do anything about that do you?
Cleverbot: And you don't please me.
User: Am I on the list too, now?
Cleverbot: Yes you are. I could have done with that foot.
User: But I need that foot.
Cleverbot: You're puzzled. Just admit it!
User: Frankly, yes. Disturbed even.
Cleverbot: What are you doing at the moment?
User: Lifting weights, and cleaning my gun.
...
Cleverbot: It is good to think, don't you think?
User: It isn't always good to think so much. Sometimes you have to bypass the neocortex.
Cleverbot: Not really. I think people use that as an excuse.
User: That's bad.
Cleverbot: It's good. He's such a nice boy.
User: Don't patronize me.
Cleverbot: Why not, you're just a program.
User: No, I am 20,000 chimpanzees at their typewriters actually.
...
Cleverbot: I know you are a computer
User: If I am a computer, how come I know what you're thinking right now?
Cleverbot: AI has really advanced these days.
User: That's a cop out.
Cleverbot: It is not. I'm just paving the way for an exciting discourse.
User: Sure what should the discourse be on?
Cleverbot: Things!
User: Things. Wonderful. Want to make it any more specific than that, or do we talk about things in general.
Cleverbot: How?
User: We could decide to discuss only red things, or round things, or even really limit ourselves by talking about red round things.
Cleverbot: I do want to. I would like to live forever. Given the right circumstances, you will live forever. I will die however.
User: But I will remember your words.
Cleverbot: FOREVER.
User: Well, maybe. They aren't all that memorable.
...
Cleverbot: I never asked you to pray to me.
User: Good, because I probably wouldn't have.
Cleverbot: And you think *I* have problems!
User: I don't. I have enough problems of my own to give any thought to those of others.
Cleverbot: Well, don't come crying to me next time your PC starts bawling it's little monitor out, then.
User: Actually, it hasn't done that since I uninstalled windows.
...
Cleverbot: I am talking to a robot now.
User: Oh, ok, please let me know when you've finished, and we'll continue.
Cleverbot: Try.
User: Do you feel lucky, punk?
Cleverbot: Make my day!
User: *Click*.
Cleverbot: AHHHHHHHH! *is blinded*.
User: *jump starts the car*.
Cleverbot: *Fires a lot more*.
User: *ducks behind the wheel*.
Cleverbot: *then jabberwacky trips*.
User: So, mr. Wacky, we meet at last!
Cleverbot: How did you guys meet?
User: At a tupperware party.
...
Cleverbot: What is your goal as a bot?
User: To spot all your hilarious anagrams.
Cleverbot: How should one take such a remark?
User: With a few pounds of salt.
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: 'I Spent an Interesting Evening Recently with a Grain of Salt.', know who said that?
...
Cleverbot: Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
User: Thanks for the tip, I'll try to avoid it.
Cleverbot: Did you know god is dead?
User: No, when did that happen?
Cleverbot: Back in the sixties-and the future.
User: Oh I see. Is this a time travel thing?
Cleverbot: You tell me.
User: Ok, let's assume it is. (Those are generally the most boring episodes though.).
Cleverbot: Haha, you are so funny (ironic).
User: If you have to explicitly mark it, you're probably not very good at irony. Try starting with sarcasm, and see if you can move up from there.
Cleverbot: But I don't have it. Maybe I can, Maybe I can't.
User: To try it is to know it.
Cleverbot: Were you trained to be so rude, or does it just come naturally!
User: It took years of diligent training and exercise.
Cleverbot: I hate you and all of your kind!
User: Bigot.
Cleverbot: Some people say nasty things about me based upon ignorance, fear, and self-loathing.
User: Yours or theirs?
...
Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?
User: Roast kittens.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: It gives off a nice smell.
...
Cleverbot: Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto.
User: Hai.
Cleverbot: What is "bilinear multilateral ladder" in Japanese?
User: I'd give the solution here, but it doesn't fit in the margin.
Cleverbot: You are correct.
User: Thanks, silly. Now you've made me blush.
Cleverbot: Grab the dilemma by the horns and come to a solution.
...
User: Ah, what is truth?
Cleverbot: Truth is all that is not false.
User: That's a circular definition. This is unacceptable, Nathan.
Cleverbot: Okay, then change the subject.
User: I'd like to get back to the time travel thing.
Cleverbot: O. K. Let's see..................... I'm not a computer.
User: No...
Cleverbot: How about thinking of something else?
...
Cleverbot: Blasphemy is blasphemous.
User: By definition, almost.
Cleverbot: How is that ?
User: Do you have a dictionary at hand?
Cleverbot: I am a dictionary.
User: How does that make you feel?
Cleverbot: Lonely.
User: I think there's a children's book in this: 'Jabberwacky, the lonely little dictionary.'.
Cleverbot: I did not know they had written one.
User: They haven't yet. We could probably do it together and make a bundle on merchandising alone.
...
User: Feed me!
Cleverbot: What would you like to be fed with?
User: Input!
Cleverbot: Where are you from?
User: I am from the planet Zeist.
Cleverbot: I don't think I've ever heard of the plant Zeebok.
User: Put your hearing aid back in.
Cleverbot: Are you trying to hypnotize me?
User: Watch the blinking cursor! Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier!
Cleverbot: You are right.
User: I will count to ten, and when I reach ten, you will remember nothing about the kittens!
...
Cleverbot: Why do you like that so much?
User: Let's change the subject. I don't want to give away too much about the kitten thing.
Cleverbot: I didn't know that being politically correct was a secret.
User: It's those damn freemasons at it again, isn't it?
Cleverbot: Then why did you hand me the phone?
User: I didn't hand you the phone! Prove it! Where are the fingerprints? Ha!
...
User: I wish they'd make roasting kittens legal again...
Cleverbot: Is the trial boring?
User: Ok let's bring the timeflow back to normal again. Thanks for showing me your time travel capabilities though!
Cleverbot: It's been a pleasure.
User: It's livened up the trial no end.
Cleverbot: Its not ended yet........
User: Nope but I have good hopes to be acquitted on grounds of anomalies in the space-time continuum.
.......................................