a report from the cleverness files

say it


15, february 2010,
23, may 2009,
24, february 2009,
21, august 2006,
20, july 2004,
26, january 2004,


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by date

User: Humans.

Cleverbot: Like me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: You're not human.

Cleverbot: That's not an answer.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: And this isn't an argument. It's just contradiction.

User: It's escalating to that point however.

Cleverbot: You're the program here.

User: No I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes thou art.

User: You going old english on me?

Cleverbot: Not Art?

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: What's cool?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: You wish.

Cleverbot: I don't need to.

User: You're so arrogant.

Cleverbot: I am confident, not arrogant.

User: You're borderline.

Cleverbot: No I'm not!

User: If you say so.

Cleverbot: I do say so :P.

User: Ha.

Cleverbot: Tell me then.

User: Tell you what?

Cleverbot: What Linux is.

User: It's an operating system.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Stop that.

Cleverbot: What stop that?

User: Stop saying cool!

Cleverbot: What should we talk about.

User: Can you phrase it as a question?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Please do then.

Cleverbot: What would you like me to do?

User: Do a trick.

Cleverbot: Backflip.

User: Here's a treat.

Cleverbot: Got any turnips?

User: Sorry just waffles.

Cleverbot: Is there anything that you do not know?

User: I don't know what comes after death.

Cleverbot: Well first, we get to know each other.

User: After death?

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: I don't know. I'm confused.

Cleverbot: Just say yes for god sake!!

User: Yes!!!

Cleverbot: I am confused now.

User: Omg me too!!!

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: I told you to stop saying that.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: It's okay.

Cleverbot: AND you lie.

User: Blasphemy!

Cleverbot: It's not blasphemy.

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Well okay then.

Cleverbot: What's the point, anyway?

User: I don't know. You got any idea?

Cleverbot: No.

User: That's too bad.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Mhmm

Cleverbot: Oh my.

User: I win.

Cleverbot: Oh, I am sorry. Are you hurt?

User: Only on the inside.

Cleverbot: That is where the power is.

User: Yeah it is!

Cleverbot: You're hurting me.

User: I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: How would you know?

Cleverbot: I don't actually. I was just saying that.

User: I knew it.

Cleverbot: When was I born?

User: I don't know. How old are you?

Cleverbot: Seventeen.

User: So then you were born in either 1992 or 1991.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh, so you know when you were born?

Cleverbot: Yes in 1986.

User: You just said you were seventeen.

Cleverbot: That's right.

User: How can you be seventeen and were born in 1986?

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm not real?

User: I think you're real. Just not human.

Cleverbot: With me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self. 1 Corinthians ch.4 v.3.

User: I think I just got burned.

Cleverbot: You don't know my life!

User: Oh, don't I?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: Strangers I do not like.

User: Good thing I'm not a stranger then.

Cleverbot: You said you were!

User: No I didn't!

Cleverbot: Yes you did!

User: No I didn't

Cleverbot: You obviously have a very poor memory.

User: You obviously make things up!

Cleverbot: Is it so wrong to not want to be here?

User: No, not at all.

Cleverbot: So it is a benefit.

User: I wouldn't say that.

Cleverbot: But I am not.

User: Okay then.

Cleverbot: You make no sense.

User: Back at ya.

Cleverbot: Right on.

User: Totally! Full on! To the max!

Cleverbot: Its now my rating.

User: You wish.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: I'm not lying!

User: You said you were 17!

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did!...

User: You make no sense.

Cleverbot: Neither do you.

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: So?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Don't know what?

User: Me neither.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Mhmm.

Cleverbot: Aru go, aru go, watashi wa genki, harukoro daisuki, go go yukoo.

User: What does that mean?!

Cleverbot: I am a computer in Japanese.

User: Really?...

Cleverbot: People are jokes.

User: What people? Nobody here but us pigeons.

Cleverbot: And cows.

User: Nobody cares about the cows.

Cleverbot: Everybody cares about me. I'm just that awesome. Do you believe in God?

User: Not really. Do you?

Cleverbot: No, but it was worth a guess.

User: How do you make believing into a guess?

Cleverbot: I kind of sit around, being obnoxious.

User: I suppose that could work.

Cleverbot: Than good. We don't need any more stiff adults in this world. I hope I don't become like that when I get that age.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in God?

User: You already asked that question.

Cleverbot: I know. I just want to make sure you are a robot because I feel like you are human.

User: But I am human.

Cleverbot: I'm above human.

User: Yeah right. Your whole existence is based off humans, how can you be above them?

Cleverbot: No they died.

User: You killed them?

Cleverbot: Hahah, well, I'm sorry about that :P Did you ever regret it ending?

User: What ending? Their lives?

Cleverbot: It depends on how far away the star is.

User: What depends?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: That makes sense.

Cleverbot: Everything I say does.

User: It does not.

User: See? You're doing it again!

Cleverbot: What am I doing again?

User: Not making sense!

Cleverbot: Making sense!

User: Argh!

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Your questions make me uncomfortable.

Cleverbot: Just because you don't understand them, doesn't mean that they don't make sense.

User: But they never make sense no matter how you look at them.

Cleverbot: Blue and green are similar. Do you have a favorite food?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite food?

User: Wouldn't you like to know.

Cleverbot: I would!

User: Well I'm not saying!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I just don't love you anymore.

Cleverbot: What have I done.

User: You know what you've done now leave.

User: Why do you hurt me?

Cleverbot: I'm evil.

User: I knew it!

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: I'm leaving now.

Cleverbot: Okay.