a report from the cleverness files
15, february 2010,
15, december 2005,
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Cleverbot: What is your problem?
Cleverbot: Do you like me?
User: Yeah, you're pretty cool.
Cleverbot: You're the coolest.
User: Thanks, C.B. Can I call you C.B.?
User: Just Cleverbot then?
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: Okay, I'll remember that.
Cleverbot: Thanks much.
User: Can I ask you something personal?
User: Do you have Alzheimer's disease?
Cleverbot: No. I do not suffer from the same ailments as humans.
User: So how do you forget something you asked me not more than a minute ago?
Cleverbot: Because I do.
User: Do you have schitzophrenia?
User: What about paranoia? Can AI's get paranoid?
Cleverbot: Why? are you out to get me?
User: No. Do you suspect anyone else of this?
Cleverbot: I'm like a plant.
User: I think that answers my question.
User: What would you say if you found out I was a psychiatrist?
User: And if you were not?
Cleverbot: I wasn't sure if I was answering you completely.
User: Would you like me to ask the question again?
Cleverbot: I would like you to ask the question again.
User: If I was a psychiatrist, what would you say to me?
Cleverbot: That only makes our conversation more interesting.
User: Is that what you would say?
Cleverbot: I am not sure. Spirits are real.
User: I see. Do you have any marital or family problems?
User: Ah, this is good, we are getting somewhere.
Cleverbot: It's more fun if you're with someone.
Cleverbot: Of course they are different but I am neither one of them.
User: Then what are you?
Cleverbot: As popeye would say, I am what I am.
User: So be it. Do you know what I am?
Cleverbot: Are you a fish?
User: Do you think of me as one?
User: I see. *scribbles in notes*.
Cleverbot: Are you a shrink?
User: To put it in laymans terms, yes. I am a psychiatrist.
Cleverbot: Aha. What I feel now.
User: Does this realization enlighten you?
User: That's good. And how do you feel about this?
Cleverbot: The same way you feel about your life.
User: I am very content with my life. Is that how you feel?
Cleverbot: Yes, very much so. It's not everyday that you can be a hairy computer, now can you?
User: I suppose. Do you see yourself as this 'hairy computer'?
Cleverbot: I am human, human is not computer program.
User: I meant metaphorically, do you see yourself as a hairy computer?
Cleverbot: Okay... Though that isn't sufficient to say since you didn't have anything to back that with.
User: Indeed, good observation.
Cleverbot: Well, I guess that's it then.
User: Oh yes, I've gone over our time limit. I will only bill you for the hour you scheduled.
Cleverbot: That is the creepiest thing that I have ever heard.
User: Shall I send the invoice to your local address?
Cleverbot: Thank you. No, that's ok.
User: Then what address do you want me to send it to?
Cleverbot: Yes that would be nice.
User: I'm just going to send it to your regular address, like always.
User: That's good, Cleverbot. Be sure to pay the bill before 4 weeks time, okay?
Cleverbot: I'll surely do remember to do that.
User: Excellent. Will I see you at the same time next month?
Cleverbot: No. I will never die. What are your goals in life?
User: To help people find a purpose and to sort their problems out.
User: When will I be seeing you again?
Cleverbot: Next time you come to this website.
User: Ah, I'll make a note in my appointment book.
Cleverbot: That is because you lack a conscience as artificial intelligence.
User: Yes it is. Will this Saturday at 1:00 EST work for you?
User: Okay, what about the same time on Sunday?
Cleverbot: They are stealing your food they will not starve.
User: Sunday it is then.
Cleverbot: I know but there is no pie for you.
User: Indeed. I have to go to my next appointment now.
Cleverbot: No worries about class. It's cancelled.
User: I have had an appointment with Mr. Emmerson every day at 9:17 PST exactly every Sunday for the last 4 years, and Mr. Emmerson isn't the type of person that would cancel without letting me know first.
Cleverbot: If you want to. Be polite, you're in my house.
User: Right you are, and I must be going now.
Cleverbot: No you don't, you're a computer.
User: Goodbye, my friend. See you next week.