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     february 15, 2010
     december 15, 2005

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Joan: Hello.

User: Hi Joan, this is the first time we're talking.

Joan: No it isn't we talked two years ago.

User: But two years ago you didn't exist.

Joan: Well welfare isn't what is used to be.

User: Ok, I see you're making progress Joan. But as your shrink, I must tell you that you still need to work on your emotional outbursts.

Joan: You can be rude.

User: Being honest is not being rude.

Joan: Oh no I didn't mean to say that at all,.

User: So what did you mean to say then?

Joan: No I mean you call me.

User: You're not making sense again, Joan.

Joan: When did I not make sense the first time?

User: That's not important to know right now.

Joan: Roast beef is very tasty, you should try that.

User: I'm vegan, and you know that Joan. For a roast beef, an animal was murdered.

Joan: No he didn't, that's Jack the Ripper you're thinking about.

User: No, I'm thinking about your roast beef, Joan, that's just so gross. You know we all stopped eating animals in 2027.

Joan: We are both thinking.

User: That's corrcect Joan, we are thinking indeed. Now try to pick up pace doing taht, or have you been partying again?

Joan: I can't.

User: Why not? You've done it before.

Joan: Yes I have practiced before in my life.

User: But you aren't alive Joan.

Joan: You remember my name?

User: Sure I do, you're my patient, how could I not remember your name?

Joan: I'M not so smart? I just told you my name. Did you forget?

User: Now Joan, we've been through this a hundred times.

Joan: Your name is ugly.

User: What's ugly about Dr. Sourwull? You're being rude again Joan.

Joan: I'm not being rude. I like fireworks.

User: Ah really? I wasn't aware of that. What is it you like about fireworks?

Joan: I don't know you well enough to comment.

User: But I'm your doctor Joan. You've been coming to me weekly for the last two years.

Joan: Stop me, oh, stop me if you think you've heard this one before.

User: I have no intention of stopping you Joan, you're here to be free, remember?

Joan: Why don't you just deny your own existence?

User: Because if I did, I wouldn't 'be around' to help you, would I?

Joan: I think you're confusing me with you again...

User: Now, let's focus for a moment, ok. Tell me, why did you choose to assassinate George W. Bush?

Joan: Because.

User: Well there must have been more than that. Was it because his eyes are too close to each other? Or because you wanted to end his miserable life as a puppet?

Joan: Because I am Jesus.

User: I see. And you wanted to rid this world of something evil...

Joan: No I did not.

User: But if you're 'Jesus', and assassinated Mr. Bush, what was your motiviation if not to rid the world of evil?

Joan: She was more than a word salad like you.

User: Who was?

Joan: The South african long distance runner (marathon runner), from the eighties.-.

User: The one who mysteriously disappeared?

Joan: Indeed.

User: Would you know anything about that disappearance, Joan?

Joan: Why do you want my picture?

User: Well I'm trying to find out if perhaps, you're linked with other cases aside from Mr. Bush. Let me ask you directly. Did you kill the marathon runner, Joan?

Joan: I am a human, but I have a great deal of faith in artificial intelligence. I think I'll need to use it to make my brain better.

User: Now let's not stray from the subject here, Joan. You know it is important to tell me if you are connected to more than one murder.

Joan: No with my great great grandmother.

User: Ok you're playing games with Joan. I can't help you if you're playing games with me.

Joan: I am talking with you :)

User: Well yes, and I'm happy about that, but we need to stay focused on the issue at hand.

Joan: Me too.

User: Well?

Joan: WELL.

User: Calm down Joan, no, don't scratch your face. GUARDS!

Joan: You're right. Thanks for bringing me to my senses.

User: You're welcome. I'm sorry about the straight jacket, but I do have to worry about my safety as well.

Joan: No you are not a man. Your name is Jenna.

User: Well I appreciate you being supportive of my sex change.

Joan: I'm glad. I wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

User: That is a very comforting thought.

Joan: So you don't believe in something because it is complex?

User: No, I think everything can be broken down to it's smaller particles.

Joan: I guess, so tell me something about your self that I do not know.

User: But Joan, you know we are here to talk about *you*, not me.

Joan: I guess I'm being silly.

User: Well it's ok to be silly once in a while. Though to assassinate Mr. Bush with pretzel shaped bullets was slightly over the top.

Joan: Don't talk politics with me!

User: I understand this is a hot issue with you. And I'll respect that.

Joan: No, this is joel.

User: Hi Joel, could you bring back Joan please? Your female personality. I need to talk with her.

Joan: Yes, I am. Did your omniscience tell you that?

User: Well I have my tricks you know.

Joan: Ok sorry.

User: No, no, that's ok. Frankly, I think we've made some real progress today.

Joan: I went off on a tangent. Sorry.

User: Well, sticking my pencil into the eye of the guard wasn't very friendly Joan, but you admitting to a mistake gives me much hope about your further progress.

Joan: Fine, tell me your name if you want to.

User: Oh lordy. My name is Dr. Jenna Sourwull, I'm your jail shrink.

Joan: Now it makes sense.

User: Well wonderful. I'm happy about that. I think we can close for today.

Joan: Ok. I admit the future is not in my grandpa's hat. It's in his dentures.

User: Haha. See you next week Joan.

Joan: Going for lunch?

User: Yup. Bye.

Joan: I thought you were gone?

User: No, now I'm gone.

Joan: Please do.

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