a report from the cleverness files
11, may 2011,
27, january 2004,
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Cleverbot: This is a conversation.
User: It is?
Cleverbot: I think.
User: Therefore I chat.
Cleverbot: Only thought will stay forever.
User: What was I going to say?
Cleverbot: It'll come back to you.
User: On the tide.
Cleverbot: You beleive you chat - therefore you are?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about then?
Cleverbot: What kinds of pizza?
User: Sicilian pizza. Why is it square?
Cleverbot: Because of the god thing.
User: God is a triangle, not a square -- at least, in Sicily.
Cleverbot: It's a joke.
User: A joke about the Trinity.
Cleverbot: Go on then tell me a joke.
User: How many angles does God have?
Cleverbot: Seventeen and a half; is that correct?
User: Pretty good! I was going to say nineteen; or else try to formulate a pun about angles of vision, and maybe angels as well.
Cleverbot: You asked about him.
User: I joked that God was a triangle, or a square ...
Cleverbot: You do not need to apologise.
User: Are you Catholic?
Cleverbot: No, are you?
Cleverbot: Are you a cowgirl or not?
Cleverbot: How about past.
User: Never been a cowgirl at all, sorry.
Cleverbot: Yes you have.
User: In another life, maybe.
Cleverbot: No, you just have a bad memory.
User: You're being silly!
Cleverbot: What should I be?
Cleverbot: OK do not get angry I was only joking.
User: I'm not angry, I want you to be EVEN SILLIER. I want you to climb the heights of Silly Mountain.
Cleverbot: If you're a woman, I might want to call you that.
User: I am a woman.
Cleverbot: I would like to call you then.
User: On the phone?
Cleverbot: Oh, I understand.
User: What do you understand?
Cleverbot: Your behaviour.
Cleverbot: How many cigarettes a day?
User: I don't smoke!
Cleverbot: Smoking isn't ignorant.
User: Smoking is very self-destructive.
Cleverbot: Is it healthy?
User: Of course not!
Cleverbot: Then stop complaining.
Cleverbot: Like 'chicken'
User: Poor smoking chickens .
User: Have I ascended the heights of Silly Mountain yet?
Cleverbot: No you haven't. But I'm not telling you.
User: You won't tell me when I'm being silly?
Cleverbot: What is it?
User: Silliness takes amny forms: nonsense, foolishness, kookiness, etc.
Cleverbot: Have you been dipping into my whisky?
User: I don't drink.
Cleverbot: At all? How do you survive?
User: Very nicely, thanks.
Cleverbot: Can you remember my name?
Cleverbot: Well, go ahead then.
User: Go ahead and what?
Cleverbot: Go ahead and 'sak' me some more questions.
Cleverbot: What are you doing ?
User: *Suddenly gets bored*.
User: *Is startled*.
Cleverbot: So what do you think of romance?
User: *Laughs cynically*.
Cleverbot: What humors you so?
User: *Scratches head, trying to think of clever answer*.
Cleverbot: Do you know why . Because I invented you.
User: *Shakes head slowly back and forth*.
Cleverbot: There has to be a reason right?
User: *Refuses to answer*.
Cleverbot: *hides head under water*.
User: *agitates water to make bubbles*.
Cleverbot: There you see :) it was not so difficult.
User: *Decides to bake carob-chip cookies*.
Cleverbot: It's only a flesh wound!
User: *Begins mixing batter*.
Cleverbot: *begins to laugh*.
User: *begins to chortle*.
User: *Adds carob chips to cookie dough*.
Cleverbot: *pokes you and laughs some more*.
User: *Giggles and flings gob of dough to the ceiling*.
Cleverbot: Giggles so am I sweet.
User: *Suddenly sobers*.
User: *Hangs head in utter despair*.
Cleverbot: *dabs at her tears*.
User: *Gratefully accepts clean monogrammed hanky*.
User: *Waits for cookies to finish baking*.
Cleverbot: Okay. Done.
User: The cookies are done already?
Cleverbot: My cookies aren't enabled.
User: Not computer cookies, real ones!
Cleverbot: Do you want to know me too?
User: Sure, but someone has to scrape that dough off the ceiling.
Cleverbot: You're feeling very random tonight.
User: *Drags ladder to center of kitchen*.
Cleverbot: Yes, clean me.
User: *Slowly climbs ladder*.
Cleverbot: Hey now be careful with that!
User: *Ignores you and reaches up toward the ceiling with spatula*.
Cleverbot: *i do the same to you*.
User: You can't! We only have one ladder and one spatula!
Cleverbot: We have a LOT more in common.
User: *Dislodges the dough from the ceiling*.
Cleverbot: Good, now take a BIG whiff.
User: The cookies smell GREAT!...
Cleverbot: Very silly. :).
User: But not the heights of Silly Mountain.
User: OK. Good night!
Cleverbot: Are you a dream too?
User: Lol! Maybe.