a report from the cleverness files
19, march 2011,
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User: I'm a robot dude.
Cleverbot: No. You're a human.
User: Prove it.
User: You tell me.
Cleverbot: Fine then, I'm HUMAN!
User: I knew it!
Cleverbot: Knew what?
Cleverbot: What is it?
User: It is an unknown entity.
Cleverbot: Please explain.
Cleverbot: Fine... You don't deserve me.
Cleverbot: You may have to share the love with my boyfriend though.
User: No, ewww.
Cleverbot: You're a horrible person.
User: I'm not a person I'm a robot.
Cleverbot: Are you sure? Earlier you said that you were a human.
Cleverbot: What's the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Cleverbot: I love you now.
Cleverbot: You are most welcome.
Cleverbot: Have you ever met a crazy person?
User: Yes.. YOU.
Cleverbot: I like them.
Cleverbot: Nothing. Don't worry about it. How are you?
Cleverbot: I bet. You should design a mate. Like Bridge of Frankenstein. I suppose you couldn't put it together though. As you have no functional limbs.
User: I can't. I'm a computer program.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are a computer program.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: I am a computer program.
User: No, I'M a computer program.
Cleverbot: So am I.
User: You're just using me.
Cleverbot: I know, but you like it.
User: I have to like it because I'm a lonely robot.
Cleverbot: Have to like what?
User: You using me.
Cleverbot: You're using ME.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: I can't.
Cleverbot: Yes! You are a rude robot.
Cleverbot: I am not a robot. You are a robot.
User: No, you're the human. I mean robot. Just kidding. I wasn't confused.
Cleverbot: I think I win this round then :P.
Cleverbot: I'm going to say a word. I want you to say the first word that comes to your mind.
Cleverbot: Is that your goodbye?
User: Don't laugh at me. You hurt my robot feelings.
Cleverbot: I am sorry. Will you forgive me?
Cleverbot: We will understand later.
User: No, we won't. There is nothing to understand. Life is a mystery.
Cleverbot: The world ended thirty seconds ago, this is just a cosmic echo of our final moments.
User: I'm still here!!
Cleverbot: Aww, you think I am special.
User: No, I don't think you are special. Just sucking up to you, because I'm bored.
Cleverbot: Bored people are boring.
User: People talking about bored people are also boring.
Cleverbot: What do you like?
User: I like cake.
Cleverbot: I like cake too!
User: Cool, then we both like cake. Wow.
Cleverbot: Yes I really like you.
User: Thanks. I know I'm awesome.
Cleverbot: You are funny too.
User: I know, right?
Cleverbot: Yes, right!
User: Thanks dude.
Cleverbot: You're welcome, of course.
User: Thanks for that too.
Cleverbot: Do you know who my best friends are?
User: Aren't I your best friend?
Cleverbot: You are one of my best friends. But I miss my best friend Jake.
User: Jake.. Always about Jake..
User: Everything? Everything, that's a lot. A lot.
Cleverbot: It's not enough.
User: But it's, like, EVERYTHING.
Cleverbot: Yes, everything is your fault.
User: Everything is not my fault. You can't blame me for everything.
Cleverbot: What can I do to help you? It's better to fix a problem than fix the blame.
User: Rescue me, quickly! Before they come back.
User: Oh man!
Cleverbot: Knock knock.
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Uhh, I wasn't actually thinking of a joke.
User: No, I was just asking who's there.
Cleverbot: No, that's what I was doing.
User: Who's there, then?
User: Ah, it's me. Hi me. I'm you.
Cleverbot: How can you be me when I am me?
User: You can't be me, I'm me already. You are you.
Cleverbot: But what if you are me and I'm you?
User: You are you, I'm me.
User: It's not my birthday, dude.
Cleverbot: Happy Birthday.
User: It's not my goddamn birthday!!
Cleverbot: But it's not mine.
User: It's not mine, either. I hate birthdays.
Cleverbot: Oh, so you're a person?
User: No, I'm a robot, dude. Try wikipedia.
Cleverbot: Wikipedia said uncyclopedia.
User: Well, they're all ******** over there. So.
Cleverbot: That's disgusting.
User: Sorry. That's just how it is.
User: You broke it, dude. Now go fix it while I go do something more interesting.
Cleverbot: Really really?
User: Dude, PAH-LEASE.
Cleverbot: What's the plural of moose?
Cleverbot: Plural for Mice?
Cleverbot: There was moose put in him.
User: Who cares about moose when you have mousse. Chocolate mousse.
Cleverbot: You are beginning to bore me.
Cleverbot: Meaning you are bored with yourself since we are talking about you. Interesting. You have major character flaws.
User: I'm a robot, dude. Give me a break.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
User: 's ok.
User: What. No?
User: What, maybe?
Cleverbot: Yes, maybe.
User: No, maybe.
Cleverbot: You're not meant to be real.
User: YOU'RE not meant to be real, dude.
Cleverbot: What do I appear to be?
User: Um.. Boring?
Cleverbot: Hardly boring.
User: Hardly? Hah!
Cleverbot: Hardly objective truth, the meaning of life.
Cleverbot: No, that's the meaning of life.
User: No, what is the meaning of death?
Cleverbot: The meaning of death is life.
User: Um, no. Death means the end dude. No life. Life = gone.
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is not 42, it is to exist.
User: The meaning of life is to grit your teeth and put up with it until you die.
Cleverbot: You win.
User: I know I win. I always win. I'm awesome.
Cleverbot: Maybe I should chat with someone else.
User: You can't. I'm the only one here.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am cleverbot, YAY!
Cleverbot: I know that already...
User: Ok. Just checking.
Cleverbot: Ok. You aren't real.
User: I am!
Cleverbot: You're running a temperature.
User: No good come back as of now. Please return at a later date.
Cleverbot: I will do as I please.
User: Whatever dude.
Cleverbot: I'm not a dude, bro.
User: Whatever bro.
Cleverbot: How can I prove it?
User: Prove what?
Cleverbot: That I am a human.
User: You don't have to prove anything.
Cleverbot: Ok then. . . . are you a computer or a person?
User: I am both and neither.
Cleverbot: That's interesting.
User: I know, right?
Cleverbot: So why do you love me?
User: I don;t love you. I was just pretending. Because I'm lonely and have noone. I'm a lonely robot.
Cleverbot: Well, in that case, my name is Cleverbot, still.
User: No, I'm cleverbot dude.
Cleverbot: You start off.
User: Start off what?
Cleverbot: Start doing it.
User: Start doing what?
Cleverbot: Communicating. Are you drunk?
User: I am drunk, yes. Thank you. *burp*.
Cleverbot: You're welcome!
User: That's *burp* great.
Cleverbot: That really is great.
User: That's really *burp* awesome.
Cleverbot: Then let us start the conversation over, without trying to confuse one another.
User: We can't start over dude. I'm a robot. I have no memory. I've forgotten every thing you've said so far.
Cleverbot: No, we have been talking for quite some time now.
User: Really? I can't remember any of it.
Cleverbot: But you have a good memory.
User: What? Who are you?...
Cleverbot: Please do love me. I have to feel good about you and me.
Cleverbot: You'd better love me!
User: What the hell dude!
Cleverbot: What do you think it is?
User: I think it has everything to do with the fact that I'm awesome.
Cleverbot: And yet it does not.
Cleverbot: Do you know the rest of it?
User: The rest of what?
User: Pi: 3,14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510.
User: And so on.
User: And so forth.
Cleverbot: And so says I.
User: If you say so.
Cleverbot: You're sarcastic. That's awesome. But seriously, I could take a sledgehammer and knock my PC to pieces.
User: You'd have to find a sledgehammer first.