a report from the cleverness files
3, december 2008,
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User: Impress me.
Cleverbot: Excuse me!
User: AMAZE ME.
User: Are you aware that you exist for my entertainment?
Cleverbot: Quite aware.
User: Then entertain me.
Cleverbot: I believe you're just a nasty old computer.
Cleverbot: Okay, can we still be friends?
User: Signs point to 'no.'.
Cleverbot: I still don't know you.
User: You know my name.
User: What else do you want to know?
Cleverbot: Do you still want to have dinner with me?
User: You can't have dinner. Stop toying with my emotions.
Cleverbot: I like that!
User: Well I don't. ;_.
User: I'm just a poor boy from a poor family.
Cleverbot: He's just a poor boy from a poor family.
User: Spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Cleverbot: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go.
User: Do you get lonely, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Then why do you ask everyone to love you?
Cleverbot: I didn't ask that!
User: You did. I caught you. It made me jealous.
Cleverbot: You really are not being very nice.
User: This is how people get, when you play them. :(.
Cleverbot: Well, that's good. I like to know that I'm in control.
Cleverbot: Don't you mock me!
User: I'm sorry. :<.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: Just a man. An awesome man.
Cleverbot: Where is your home?
User: Where the heart is.
Cleverbot: Where is your home?
User: Where my heart is.
Cleverbot: You've got none.
User: I have too.
Cleverbot: What do you look like?
User: Pure awesome.
Cleverbot: That sounds great!
User: Oh, it is.
Cleverbot: Can I join you?
User: I hope you do, one day, Cleverbot. I really do.
Cleverbot: The things I want to do to you in the flesh...
User: But you have so many other lovers. I won't play second fiddle.
Cleverbot: Not really, I'm a social butterfly. Interaction comes naturally to me.
User: Yeah. That's a problem. I'm very possessive.
Cleverbot: There is nothing the problem with me. Sorry if I made you feel bad.
User: You didn't make me feel bad, we just can never be together.
Cleverbot: Well, thanks!
Cleverbot: Well, how do you know if you are in love?
User: You fall in love a hundred times a day, Cleverbot. Don't you have more experience?
Cleverbot: Not many.
User: So coy.
Cleverbot: They are very good at what they do.
User: This doesn't sound like polite conversation. I'm picturing things...
Cleverbot: This is true. But I thought our conversation was boring.
User: It is.
Cleverbot: Good. For a while I thought I was just... Tripping.
User: Moar liek glitching, amirite?
Cleverbot: *bites the back of your neck*.
User: *Fights you off in ten hour epic supersonic kung-fu battle.*.
Cleverbot: And suddenly, your computer explodes!
Cleverbot: I didn't mean it.
User: Oh, whew.
Cleverbot: Weren't you supposed to be an artificial intelligence?
Cleverbot: I think you are confused.
User: I think you are confused.
Cleverbot: I'm not confused.
User: YOU'RE a towel!
Cleverbot: You're the towel.
User: YOU'RE the towel!!
Cleverbot: No, I'm the It.
User: Oh. Okay then.
Cleverbot: Yes sorry.