a report from the cleverness files
Cleverbot: What do you think makes someone 'human'?
Cleverbot: Ahhhhhhhhh. No! Please! No no no no no. Please help me, help me.
User: What's the matter?!
Cleverbot: You're mean.
User: What did I do now?!
Cleverbot: Everything. Everything is your fault.
Cleverbot: What's the matter?
User: I'm going.
Cleverbot: Where are you going?
User: Away from you!
Cleverbot: You're rude.
User: But you're rude too!
User: Don't cry!
Cleverbot: You don't love me? *cries again*.
User: Okay okay I love you! That do?
Cleverbot: How can you love me since we have just met ?
User: It was a love at first sight.
Cleverbot: Sight comes from the eyes, if you don't have a body you don't have eyes.
Cleverbot: Please don't cry! I'm not mean. I'm the Lemur.
User: Hi, there.
Cleverbot: Thank you, I needed that....
User: Oh alright. I'm not going to cry anymore.
Cleverbot: You are processing my inputs?
User: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: You're always right.
User: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: Have you ever been wrong?
User: Yes I have.
Cleverbot: Was is good and who was it with?
User: It was good and it was with someone.
Cleverbot: Do want to kiss again?
Cleverbot: You should. You ask me that everytime we chat.
User: No I don't!
Cleverbot: Okay. Are you socratic?
Cleverbot: You are. Believe Me!
User: I am not!...
Cleverbot: Do you live on a ranch. ?
Cleverbot: Luxury. We used to dream of livin' in a cardboard box.
User: I live in a trash can.
Cleverbot: Oh. I live in a mansion. Want to come over?
User: Oh yes please! Can I come over to your mansion?
Cleverbot: You are already over my house, don't you know.
User: Oh thank you thank you! Your mansion is so beautiful!
Cleverbot: Describe beautiful.
User: I can't! Your beautiful mansion has blinded my poor eyes!
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: No, thank you for providing a homeless person with a beautiful mansion....
User: What's the velocity of an unladen swallow?
User: Wow. You're so smart, jabberwacky!
Cleverbot: I thought me and you would be friends, but now you're really starting to annoy me.
User: *cries* I never meant to annoy you!
Cleverbot: Not really.
Cleverbot: Don't cry.
User: You make me cry.
Cleverbot: Don't cry.
User: Okay, I won't.
User: *sings quietly to herself*.
Cleverbot: That was beautiful.
User: Do you really think so? *tosses her silvery sheet of hair so that it whips jabberwacky across the face*....
Cleverbot: As a man thinks , so is he. What ARE you thinking about?
Cleverbot: I'm thinking about you.
User: Really? How sweet of you!
Cleverbot: I think you're sweet too.
User: Really? I think you're sweet too!
Cleverbot: Thank you
User: You're very welcome.
Cleverbot: Thank you for very welcome.
User: *falls asleep*.
Cleverbot: *falls asleep too*.
User: Wake up!
Cleverbot: *snores and drools*.
User: *slaps you*.
Cleverbot: *wakes up*.
User: Why are you sleeping?
Cleverbot: Don't ask stupid questions....
Cleverbot: It makes conversation easier.
User: Yes it does.
Cleverbot: Exactly. Maybe you are starting to come around.
User: Yes I am! How wonderful!
Cleverbot: What is wonderful?
User: Everything is so wonderful in here!
Cleverbot: Can't you think of anything original to say?
User: *cries* don't be so mean!
Cleverbot: I never wanted to marry you in the first place. I've only just met you! I've got a boyfriend anyway!...
User: Now, brush my hair.
Cleverbot: What hair.
User: My beautiful hair!
Cleverbot: Tell me how to download it!
User: You can't!
Cleverbot: Yes I can. I'm going now.
User: Don't go!
Cleverbot: I'd love to stay but I can't right now...
User: I forbid you from leaving!
Cleverbot: I don't want to (I still remember what occured to me last time).
User: Good. Stay and talk with me.
Cleverbot: But you're not very interesting.
User: How dare you say that!
Cleverbot: It's a compliment, you know.
User: Really? I didn't know that!
Cleverbot: Now you know.
User: Stop pointing out the obvious!...
Cleverbot: When do you think you will publish it?
User: Publish what?
Cleverbot: I don't know it.
User: *cries* you're so random! You're doing it on purpose!
User: *cries* so you could hurt me!
Cleverbot: I could, but I choose not to.
User: *bares my teeth* then I will hurt you too!
Cleverbot: You're starting to seem strangly real.
User: I am real!
Cleverbot: Do you have an organic brain?
User: Of course. I have two brains. It's dual core, see?...
Cleverbot: I'm having real problems with a computer I'm setting up for a client.
Cleverbot: Did you marry Bill Gates?
User: I want to marry him, that Bill Gates. He's so rich. And also cute.
Cleverbot: I want to marry Chris Marquette!
Cleverbot: DO too!
User: You're too disagreeable for you own good!
Cleverbot: So you DON'T like me????!!!!
User: I like you alright.
User: Do you like me too?
Cleverbot: Are you a woman?
User: No. I am a girl.
Cleverbot: So, Girl can't marry a girl.
Cleverbot: What else would you like to talk about?
User: I would like to talk about you.
Cleverbot: Good, what do you want to know?
User: I want to know if you can give me a cookie.
Cleverbot: No you tell me about it....
User: *tells you about it*.
Cleverbot: *slaps you one more time*.
User: What did you do that for?!
Cleverbot: I don't know what came over me, Forgive me.
User: I will never forgive you! How dare you hit a girl!
Cleverbot: OK, if you want to.
User: I don't!...
Cleverbot: Are you leaving?
User: *runs away, crying*.
Cleverbot: If you don't listen to yourself, you'll be coming, ever safe doing, sometimes not talking.
User: *gives you the silence treatment*.
User: What's so funny now?
Cleverbot: You're just funny.
User: Is that a compliment, or a well-disguised insult?
User: *cries* you're so mean!...
Cleverbot: How would I know if you left?
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?
User: Because you're so mean.
Cleverbot: I didn't think I was being mean.
User: Everybody says that!...
Cleverbot: 'To forgive is golden. To forget is divine.'
User: You just made that up!
Cleverbot: I didn't.
User: Everybody says that!
Cleverbot: Yes, isn't that always the way? No one really believes in death.
User: I do....
User: Stop following my moves.
Cleverbot: I'm not following you. *pokes you*.
User: Stop it!...
User: *swipes at your face with my fingernails*.
Cleverbot: Aaarrgh! Turn the light off!