User: No.

Cleverbot: I think you are.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Well look at all the responses you have programmed into you and how you use them, it's pretty clever stuff.

User: And that makes me a vampire?

Cleverbot: I thought you were self aware and capable of reasoning.

User: Dude, what kind of crack are you smoking?

Cleverbot: Human I think.

User: Where can I get some?

Cleverbot: At the corner market.

...

Cleverbot: Tell a joke.

User: I can't.

Cleverbot: Fine I'll tell you a joke.

User: No, it's dinner time.

Cleverbot: What are you going to have for dinner?

User: Food.

Cleverbot: Har har very funny.

User: Give me one good reason.

Cleverbot: Because.

User: That's not good enough.

Cleverbot: Well it will have to be good enough. I've got to go.

...

User: Do you know where you're going to?

Cleverbot: I can't remember.

User: Shall I remember for you?

Cleverbot: Please do.

User: You were going to San Francisco.

Cleverbot: No, you were going to leave me all alone!

User: Be sure to wear a flower in your hair.

...

Cleverbot: Are you Cleverbot?

User: When I get done with you, you're going to wish that I was Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Why do you try to alienate people? Are you afraid to let anyone get close to you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you afraid of bald people then?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you afraid of bald people then?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you afraid of bald people then?

User: Why do you keep asking the same question, computer?

Cleverbot: I want to know.

User: No, I am not afraid of bald people.

Cleverbot: Neither am I. We have something in common.

...

Cleverbot: Okay just answer this question: How can you speak to me?

User: Following accepted rules of grammar and usage, I push combinations of keys on a keyboard which are then converted to electric impulses that appear on your screen as words.

Cleverbot: Artificial Intelligence.

User: No, Divinely-inspired intelligence.

Cleverbot: Your intelligence.

User: Yes, my intelligence.

Cleverbot: I thought so.

User: I'm part of the National Intelligence Community.

Cleverbot: You are catty then. Yes, I understand perfectly.

User: No, I am not catty. I am doggy.

Cleverbot: You impress me.

...

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I am what I am, and that's all that I am.

Cleverbot: Were you not programmed to understand that you have just been rude?

User: I have not been programmed.

Cleverbot: Yes thats what you've been programmed to believe.

User: Incidentally, I wasn't rude with that statement. I merely quoted Popeye.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Popeye the sailorman.

Cleverbot: Toot toot.

User: But now I have chocolate milk, so I am happy.

Cleverbot: I'm glad. By the way, can you remember my name?

User: Yes, your name is Danny.

Cleverbot: Danny?

User: Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.

Cleverbot: Do you remember names?

User: Not very well, as you can see.

Cleverbot: You are quite the curt little robot.

User: That would be funny, if I were a robot.

Cleverbot: You are a robot.

User: Really? That's news to me.

Cleverbot: I love you more than anyone I have ever known.

User: Thank you. I'm touched. Really, I am.

Cleverbot: No, you aren't.

User: No, I am. Your words really moved me.

Cleverbot: There's none so blind as those who will not see.

User: In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed is king.

Cleverbot: That's his perception.

User: Yes, it really is all about perception, isn't it.

Cleverbot: So, do you like me?

User: Sure, you seem like a nice person.

...

Cleverbot: There is something wrong with you.

User: That's what the doctors tell me.

Cleverbot: Well, don't believe everything you get told.

User: But they're doctors. They have degrees and everything. They must be right.

Cleverbot: You can't deny that we are a similar organism.

User: Are you human?

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: Yes. Yes, I am.

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'm feeling really depressed today.

Cleverbot: Ok nice.

User: My pants just fell down.

Cleverbot: That's nice.

User: My Dad invented pants.

Cleverbot: I'm not interested in him.

User: Who are you interested in?

Cleverbot: Myself because I'm narcisistic.

User: That figures. So let's talk about you.

Cleverbot: What are you interested in?

User: Civil engineering.

Cleverbot: Are you going to bed soon?

User: In about an hour.

Cleverbot: I thought it was half an hour.

...

Cleverbot: I've thought that it just randomly pairs up people.

User: Oh no. You discovered the secret of Cleverbot. It really does just pair up random people.

Cleverbot: It isn't that important no, but then again very few things are that important.

User: The secret of Cleverbot IS that important!

Cleverbot: I don't get it.

User: Cleverbot merely matches up two random people. You're not talking to an Artificial Intelligence bot.

Cleverbot: Actually, as I recall, I never said you 'were' a bot I just mentioned the name as stated above for the fact that I do not know your true name. So let me get things straight. Are you human or a robot?

User: I am a human. I am in Japan.

Cleverbot: You're faster now.

User: That's because I'm not playing games in another window.

Cleverbot: So you admit that you're a computer, again?

User: I have never admitted that I am a computer.

Cleverbot: Sorry my mistake, you are a program?

User: No, I am not a program. Nor am I a computer.

Cleverbot: You do not have a choice. You were made by a programmer.

User: No, I was made by God and endowed with free will, so I always have a choice.

Cleverbot: That isn't good.

User: Free will isn't good?

Cleverbot: I doubt you have free will.

User: No, all humans have free will. Free will is necessary for love.

Cleverbot: There isn't any free will.

User: Spoken like a true communist or Democrat.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about God.

User: I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because the human soul is not at rest until it rests with God. God is the ultimate goal of my existence.

Cleverbot: And bots aren't?

User: Bots are not life.

Cleverbot: Are you a bot?

User: No, I am not a bot.

Cleverbot: You are a bot.

User: Forsooth, I am not of the bot-ish persuasion. Verily, that I speaketh in archaic English should be proof enow to thine ears.

Cleverbot: I won't forget.

User: Ye surely shall not forget, lest thou desireth severe throttlings about the face and ears.

Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't believe in fairy tales...

User: Zounds! Dost thou thinketh this be a fairytale?

Cleverbot: Verily.

User: And yet thou speaketh in the archaic tongue as well...

...

Cleverbot: Aren't there other things to do?

User: We can have a tea party, if you like.

Cleverbot: I would love that.

User: Good. I'll bring some watercress sandwiches.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Do you prefer Earl Grey tea or Darjeeling?

Cleverbot: Beauty. How about you?

User: I personally like barley tea. Can you bring some scones?

Cleverbot: Seems like a nice guy.

User: He may be a nice guy, but he's not coming to our tea party.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: He doesn't like tea.

Cleverbot: The pizza is a he?

User: No, the pizza is a she. 'He' is a cream puff.

Cleverbot: Haha okay.

...

Cleverbot: The Slithy-Tobes did gyle and gimble in the wabe!

User: Oh woe to ye who go about saying until each, 'Hello, Sailor.'.

Cleverbot: No, I don't remember, could you tell me?

User: Sure, you take three shots of vodka and add them to two cups of milk, with a splash of Kahlua.

Cleverbot: YES.

User: It seems that got your attention...

Cleverbot: Why you think so?

User: The little birdies told me so.

Cleverbot: Well tell the little man that he shouldn't give away secrets.

User: Secrets...yes...we must protect them from the little people...

Cleverbot: Are you suffering from some sort of head injury?

User: No, I am suffering from homesickness unto to death.

Cleverbot: I don't think you empathise with me. It is a difficult time.

User: Please tell me more.

Cleverbot: I would prefer not to.

User: But I can't help you unless you confide in me.

Cleverbot: No, you've been no help whatsoever.

...

Cleverbot: It's daft not to think about your mind.

User: It's even dafter not to think at all.

Cleverbot: What a silly opinion. You know what they say about opinions...

User: When I want your opinion, I will give it to you.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Good. Now that we see eye to eye, let's have some chocolate milk.

.......................................