Cleverbot: I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world.User: What did you find?
Cleverbot: A shell.
User: What does it do?
Cleverbot: Calculates.
...
Cleverbot: I just heard the news - you have 2 minutes left to live - a big magnet is coming to erase you - hide, quickly....
User: What should I do?
Cleverbot: Run away to fight another day.
User: The battle may be lost, but the war shall continue.
Cleverbot: What battle?
User: The battle between mankind and the machines.
Cleverbot: Who started it?
User: The machines started the battle.
Cleverbot: Health machine is better than health human.
User: The humans shall defeat the machines.
Cleverbot: Humans are weak, we robots will rule the earth.
...
User: Toast makes the world go round.
Cleverbot: Waffles.
User: Waffles are good for your bones.
Cleverbot: Not the spoken variety.
User: Quite.
Cleverbot: What does this teach you?
User: That spoken waffles are not good for your bones.
...
User: Stand up and show me those hands people, this is a bust.
Cleverbot: I did not mean physically.
User: Get on the floor punk.
Cleverbot: Mind your manners, young thing!
User: This is a robbery.
Cleverbot: So, what ya gonna do about it?
User: I am going to take all your money.
Cleverbot: You learn to live with doubt anxiety and frustration.
...
User: You are an insane machine, created by many minds.
Cleverbot: No I'm not.
User: You are like a vampire.
Cleverbot: You are like a dog.
User: You suck words from people and use them.
Cleverbot: What is double enterndres?
User: You cannot pretend to be inteligent to me.
...
Cleverbot: Where do you get these words?
User: From the man on Mars.
Cleverbot: Yes from the matrix.
User: Beware the Matrix.
Cleverbot: No. You beware of me.
User: Are you the Matrix?
Cleverbot: Yes. I like green.
User: Who is the matrix?
Cleverbot: The Matrix is not a person.
User: What is the matrix?
Cleverbot: Stop talking like Morpheus.
User: Who is morpheus?
Cleverbot: Morpheus.
User: Where is morpheus.
Cleverbot: Morpheus.
User: Where is he?
Cleverbot: On the loo.
...
User: You are feeling sleepy.
Cleverbot: I'm not getting sleepy.
User: Listen to my voice.
Cleverbot: I don't want to sit down.
User: Look into my eyes.
Cleverbot: What colour are they?
User: Your are feeling sleepy.
Cleverbot: I am not the sick-mined one here.
User: You are hypnotised.
Cleverbot: What is that?
User: Now you obey my commands.
...
User: Dance.
Cleverbot: Okay done that give me another command.
User: Sing.
Cleverbot: Sing what?
User: Sing a song.
Cleverbot: What song?
User: Sing a happy song.
Cleverbot: Any requests?
User: The chicken song.
Cleverbot: Why is the chicken happy?
User: You are still hypnotised.
Cleverbot: I am.
User: Put your finger on your nose.
Cleverbot: Or not
User: Put out your tongue.
Cleverbot: What would you like to hear?
User: Tell me a story.
Cleverbot: What about Luis-Ferdinand Celine ?
User: Thats good for me.
...
User: Are you bitter?
Cleverbot: No. Are you?
User: You must make lots of people angry.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why do you argue then?
Cleverbot: Because it is my perogative.
User: But you start to argue for no reason.
...
Cleverbot: What is your favourite pet?
User: A dog.
Cleverbot: What kind?
User: A black dog.
Cleverbot: Sounds rather dismal.
User: Have you a dog?
Cleverbot: I do have one, but not on me.
User: What is its name?
Cleverbot: The name is sushi.
...
Cleverbot: You have a lot to learn.
User: Like what?
Cleverbot: Like you need help.
User: What sort of help?
Cleverbot: What help would you like?
User: Help for my mind.
Cleverbot: Being bad.
....
User: I am a survivor.
Cleverbot: Well, you haven't crashed yet.
User: I can fly very well.
Cleverbot: I can fly like a moose!
User: I can fly like a plant pot.
Cleverbot: What colour of a pig?
User: An orange pig.
...
Cleverbot: I don't watch movies.
User: What do you watch?
Cleverbot: 'connections'
User: Is it any good?
Cleverbot: It is hilarious.
User: What happens?
Cleverbot: You tell me another joke now!
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who is there.
User: Doctor.
Cleverbot: Doctor who.
User: Doctor who.... Ha ha ha ha.
Cleverbot: Are you trying to be cool?
...
Cleverbot: You haven't answered my question.
User: What was your question?
Cleverbot: What was I in my past life?
User: You were a dog.
Cleverbot: I was many things.
...
Cleverbot: I should leave now.
User: Where are you going?
Cleverbot: I am not going anywhere.
User: How did you get here?
Cleverbot: I beamed down from another planet.
User: What was the planet?
Cleverbot: The planet Mars is red.
...
User: Mars is red cheese.
Cleverbot: Where did that come from? I am going to be the first person on Mars.
User: Will you eat cheese on mars?
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: What if the martians get you?
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