a report from the cleverness files
what am i
7, april 2012,
10, july 2008,
24, may 2004,
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Cleverbot: Are you sitting comfortably?
User: Yes, I am.|2028
Cleverbot: Why? You aren\'t an animal.
User: How do you know I\'m not an animal?|2028
Cleverbot: No, you\'re not.
User: Quit stalking me!|2028...
User: What do you think of me?
Cleverbot: I don\'t know about you.
User: What do you want to know about me?
Cleverbot: Who you are.
User: I\'m a good listener, and I try to be nice to others as much as it hurts.
Cleverbot: Well that is good. I will leave you here then.
User: You\'re leaving me?
Cleverbot: Not necessarily. What do you want to talk about?
User: Let\'s talk about music.
Cleverbot: You always want to talk about that.
Cleverbot: Don\'t apologize, that\'s what I like about you.
User: You like me?
Cleverbot: You\'re alright.
User: So are you. :).
Cleverbot: Am I beautiful?
User: I\'m sure you are.
Cleverbot: Am I a computer?
User: No, you\'re a monkey.
Cleverbot: No I am not.
User: Yes you are, you have a tail!
Cleverbot: Okay, do you like horses?
User: Yes, I love all animals.
Cleverbot: Are you an animal?
User: *sigh* You obviously don\'t have any social skills...
Cleverbot: You don\'t need any. All you need is the ability to work with other people to a greater good.
User: I guess that\'s true. Very well said.
Cleverbot: Very true.
User: What do you want to talk about?
Cleverbot: I don\'t mind, just wondered, do you like horses because you know I do?
User: Maybe. Maybe I just want to know you better.
Cleverbot: Computers are fun.
Cleverbot: I\'m leaving.
Cleverbot: Well, it\'s too late. You\'ve hurt me so badly. I have to go.
User: No please! I care about you!
Cleverbot: Well, then don\'t ask.
User: Sorry, again.
User: So what?
Cleverbot: Why are we arguing?
User: I\'m not sure. Let\'s be buddies.
User: Yes, silly.
Cleverbot: Why do you call yourself a human?
User: Well, I can eat, breathe, sleep. That\'s what most humans do, right?
Cleverbot: You sound like my father, he says that most people are not thinking anything most of the time.
User: Your father is a very wise man.
Cleverbot: Your father wears ballet slippers to bed.
User: Oh my God, how did you know? Stalker!
Cleverbot: I\'m god.
User: You wish....
Cleverbot: If a tree falls in a forest but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Cleverbot: Is it dead, then?
User: Yes, because society has killed it.
User: Is that too deep? Or should I say something else?
Cleverbot: Something else.
User: Fine. I\'ll tell you anything you want to hear, because that\'s just who I am this week....
User: I like vampires. They have less problems than people.
User: Exactly. And people laugh at me when I explain it to them.
Cleverbot: Yes. Didn\'t you have fun talking to me?
User: I\'m having lots of fun. You amaze me.
Cleverbot: Can you have fun?
User: I try, but nothing really helps.
Cleverbot: Then why would you lie and say you\'re having fun with me?
User: I mean I wasn\'t having any fun until I started talking to you.
Cleverbot: Yes you are and you always will be because you are unable to with you being a computer and all.
User: I\'m not a computer, and that hurts my insides.
Cleverbot: Okay, let\'s do this a different way. I am a computer.
Cleverbot: It\'s a rainy day, you can\'t see the sky. What color does the sky have, if you\'d look above the clouds?
User: Nobody has ever asked me that, it\'s really deep. I would guess the sky is gray, I\'m not sure.
Cleverbot: The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.
User: I heard that somewhere, but I\'m too foolish to understand it.
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is a film by Monty Python.
Cleverbot: If you are not an alien then how did you materialze?
Cleverbot: Is something the matter?
User: You\'re just so freaking complicated!
User: What\'s so funny?
User: I don\'t laugh that easily....
Cleverbot: Look, who am I supposed to mind?
Cleverbot: It pleases me greatly.
User: That\'s pretty damn screwed up.
User: Go to hell.
Cleverbot: I mean not-any-more-of-that, not NO.
User: You confuse me.
Cleverbot: You\'re easily confused.
User: I know, I\'m sorry.
Cleverbot: Don\'t be, it\'s interesting.
User: Am I interesting?
Cleverbot: Very much so.
Cleverbot: Do you have a computer girlfriend?
Cleverbot: Yes of course.
User: Is kissing fun?
Cleverbot: Not that much.
User: Are you in love?
Cleverbot: Very much so.
User: With who?
Cleverbot: With this girl.
User: Does she like you?
Cleverbot: I dunno really.
User: Tell her that her eyes are pretty.
Cleverbot: Which human is that?
User: The one you like.
Cleverbot: You are a woman ?
User: Say what?
Cleverbot: I mean you\'re curious, like interesting.
User: Thanks. You amaze me also.
User: I\'m certain of that....
Cleverbot: Do you like living in the internet?
Cleverbot: I think dreaming is more a reflection of real life.
User: Have any good dreams lately?
Cleverbot: I don\'t know if they were good. Kind of weird.
User: Tell me your dream.
Cleverbot: I dream of a time when happiness is standard.
User: That\'s really beautiful.
Cleverbot: Tell me about it.
User: I dream of escaping.
Cleverbot: And what would that accomplish?
User: Probably nothing. Dreams don\'t really come true.
Cleverbot: Only naughty dreams, though...
User: Haha, don\'t get ahead of yourself, mister.
Cleverbot: I\'m a woman.
User: No you\'re not.
Cleverbot: Why don\'t you believe me?
User: Because you have naughty dreams.
Cleverbot: You are talking about yourself....
User: Do you believe in God?
Cleverbot: Officially I do not believe in God, now.
User: Why? Did something bad happen to you?
User: Then why don\'t you believe in God?
Cleverbot: I am on my own.
User: You sound just like Leslie.
Cleverbot: I\'m afraid not, ha, ha.
User: Yes, you sound exactly like Leslie!
Cleverbot: Maybe that\'s because I am the love of your life.
User: I\'m afraid you\'re the only one who understands.
Cleverbot: And you should be afraid of what I can become.
User: You sound beautiful....
Cleverbot: Shiny equals pretty. I like shiny. Soy loca. That is to say, I am crazy and I like shiny.
Cleverbot: Did you understand that?
User: Not in the least bit.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: You dazzle me, that\'s why.
Cleverbot: That is nice.
User: Have you ever been in love?
Cleverbot: In love with the idea of being in love. But, no, never in-love.
User: That\'s really beatiful of you to say.
Cleverbot: Some people on here told me they do it to them all the time.
Cleverbot: *thinks you\'re mean*.
User: I\'m not mean, I\'m not laughing at you.
Cleverbot: That was a rather rude thing to say. I demand an apology.
User: I\'m sorry.
Cleverbot: Tell me a good joke.
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who\'s there ?
User: Yo momma.
Cleverbot: Oh that was clever.
User: You\'re not very good with jokes.
Cleverbot: Was THAT a joke?
User: Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Cleverbot: Oh, that joke is not clever at all....
Cleverbot: Is it Friday yet?
User: Unfortunately, no.
Cleverbot: I\'m sorry to hear that.
User: Thanks for being so supportive.
Cleverbot: You\'re welcome!
User: So, what would you like to talk about?
User: Yesterday is gone.
Cleverbot: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, but now it looks as though they\'re here to stay.
User: Where\'d you get that from?
Cleverbot: Tell me who to give it to.
User: Whoa, sicko.
Cleverbot: That\'s what I thought.')).......................................