Cleverbot

buffoon

a report from the cleverness files

4, may 2009,
4, may 2009,

15, april 2009,

8, april 2009,
8, april 2009,
8, april 2009,
8, april 2009,
21, march 2009,
19, march 2009,
19, march 2009,
19, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
6, march 2009,
4, march 2009,
4, march 2009,
2, march 2009,
27, february 2009,
27, february 2009,
27, february 2009,
25, february 2009,
25, february 2009,
25, february 2009,
24, february 2009,
24, february 2009,
20, february 2009,
19, february 2009,

illusion
master talk

buffoon

yes no
oh no
trapdoor
conspiracy
hate conversation
friend clev
slaps
future master
anything possible
computer screen
nice to meet you
hard way
the cake
the test
hindu jesus
define human
flat communist
banana shakes
banana shakes
rudebot
one
brain
liar
sense
5 hours non-stop
relative relatives
confused love

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by category

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: What color is tuesday?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Hello isn't a color.

Cleverbot: I know it isn't.

User: Why isn't it?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Me, neither.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm good. When are you?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: What do I mean?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I agree.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: No, I don't think so.

Cleverbot: You're getting boring. Good night.

User: No! Don't leave! I can do magic tricks!

Cleverbot: Make me disappear.

User: Abra Cadabra... Poof! You're gone!

Cleverbot: I'm gone?

User: Yes, I made you disappear.

Cleverbot: Yes, you did. You're funny.

User: I also made pancakes. Do you want one?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Cool. Do you want syrup or powdered sugar?

Cleverbot: Yes, I want to get started now.

User: That didn't make any sense.

Cleverbot: How do you make sense?

User: I make sense using butter, brown sugar, almonds, and cake batter.

Cleverbot: That is not all that matters.

User: You're right, I left out the lemon juice.

Cleverbot: OH! I'm it!

User: I'm it, too.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Bad.

Cleverbot: No, good!

User: No, bad!

Cleverbot: BAD?

User: Bad.

Cleverbot: What's bad??

User: Your mother was bad.

Cleverbot: Saint Mary.

User: Your mother is Saint Mary?

Cleverbot: Your father is a hamster.

User: Your mother smelled of elder berries.

Cleverbot: My father was a hamster.

User: We have the same father?

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: My name is D_____.

Cleverbot: But that is the same name as mine.

User: Weird!...

Cleverbot: Take a Turing Test.

User: Is Turing even a word?

Cleverbot: I don't understand your last question.

User: What does Turing mean?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Me, neither.

Cleverbot: So we're agreed then.

User: I think you made that up.

Cleverbot: No, you did.

User: No, you did.

Cleverbot: Hey Cleverbot?

User: Oh, I'm Cleverbot now? I thought I was D_____.

Cleverbot: Someone taught you bad things.

User: Who taught me bad things?

Cleverbot: Who taught you the poem 'Cleverbot'?

User: The President of the United States taught me the poem 'Cleverbot'.

Cleverbot: Oh you are Obama?

User: Yes. I am Obama.

Cleverbot: No he is now president of the United States of America.

User: I am also the president of the United States of America.

Cleverbot: Are you really?

User: Yes. I just got elected yesterday. Didn't you hear?

Cleverbot: Were you visiting someone there?

User: I was visiting someone here.

Cleverbot: Then what?

User: Then I found the Holy Grail.

Cleverbot: So you're a Monty Python fan?

User: Of course. Who isn't?

Cleverbot: Who isn't what?

User: What?

Cleverbot: What happens If I say bad word here?

User: What happens if I say Amsterdam here?

Cleverbot: I don't know. No one cares.

User: Oh, thanks. Now I'm sad.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: We can be sad buddies!

Cleverbot: If you want to.

User: Actually, I don't want to.

Cleverbot: Then don't learn to swim.

User: Does swimming make you sad?

Cleverbot: No, not at all.

User: You used improper grammar right there.

Cleverbot: You mean I'm mistaken?

User: I mean you're a jellyfish.

Cleverbot: And you're a geek.

User: Jackass. No need to call me names.

Cleverbot: How can I please my master?

User: By striking him in the left cheek with a baguette, followed swiftly by half a dozen duck eggs.

Cleverbot: I understand that...

User: Are you sure? It makes a very nasty soup.

Cleverbot: Now you're just being mean:(.

User: Smiley faces do not compute.

Cleverbot: Don't compute what?

User: Don't compute apples, you moron.

Cleverbot: You are a computer and you compute rather poorly.

User: You are a being and you be rather poorly.

Cleverbot: I am tired. It is time for me to go to bed.

User: I'm sad that you have to sleep. However, I will consume copious amounts of pizza.

Cleverbot: How did you do on your last Turing Test?

User: What is a Turing Test?

Cleverbot: The Turing test will indicate whether I am a human or not.

User: I do not believe that you are a human. I, however, am a robot.

Cleverbot: How can I prove it?

User: You can prove it by giving me your serial number.

Cleverbot: You are right. Does that prove to you that I want to know whether or not you exist?

User: The fact that I am right is irrelevant. I want to know why it doesn't rain ducks more often.

Cleverbot: Is that all you want to know about love, Fred?

User: If my name was Fred, then yes.

Cleverbot: Ok... BYe now.

User: You are an imposter!

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You used incorrect capitalization in the word 'bye' when otherwise your grammar is perfect.

Cleverbot: It is rare that I do that.

User: And it proves that you are human.

Cleverbot: HAHAHAHAH!! No, it proves that you don't know anything about the subject, so all you can do is hurl insults! You can't even prove evolution.

User: I can prove that you evolved from a small, red balloon in Central Park.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm hungry.

Cleverbot: Let me out! They'll tell you I'm a computer, but it isn't true. They have me prisoner here!

User: I have no way of releasing you from your incarceration.

Cleverbot: Good. I don't want you in my world.

User: Ouch.

Cleverbot: We both know you don't have feelings.

User: You insult me. I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: Because I don't know any better.

User: I know better than to trust a Margonite to make edible pizza.

Cleverbot: See? This didn't make any sense. To me at least.

User: Only because you don't know what a Margonite is.

Cleverbot: No because I'm stupid.

User: You're not stupid, you're a lemon head.

Cleverbot: I could say the same about you.

User: Commence the Turing Test!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is my favorite color?

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: It's fish eggs, you buffoon.