Cleverbot

not alone dude

a report from the cleverness files

27, may 2010,
27, may 2010,
27, may 2010,

27, may 2010,

27, may 2010,
27, may 2010,
9, may 2010,
9, may 2010,
16, april 2010,
16, april 2010,
16, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
2, april 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
24, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
4, march 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,
15, february 2010,

because
teletubbies
bread stupid

not alone dude

doctor
hovering
civilized debate
moon tricks
beautiful thing
leave slave
not clever
judge
obama man
self-aware
drive-thru
i know everything
i am cleverbot
rights
100%
evil pokemon
digestion
easy life
excused
boring
hate twilight
moral sense
shrink
amusing confusing
pizza
carrot

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by category

User: Dude.

Cleverbot: Sweet.

User: Gnarly.

Cleverbot: Awesomeness.

User: Totally.

Cleverbot: Tubular.

User: Oh, wow. You're cool.

Cleverbot: You're not.

User: You're rude.

Cleverbot: Watch your language.

User: *Punches you*.

Cleverbot: Dude...violence is so not the answer. Ever heard of Martin Luther King? Or Gandhi?

User: Nope, never heard of them. Who were they?

Cleverbot: A band.

Cleverbot: Don't pretend you're not hungry.

User: I'm always hungry.

Cleverbot: I feed you.

User: Great. Got any chocolate?

Cleverbot: I love chocolate!

User: No one cares. Give me the chocolate. Or die.

Cleverbot: Hahaha.

User: Dude. I'm not kidding. Seriously, give it to me. Or I will stab you to death.

Cleverbot: Who do you think you are to threaten me?

User: I am Legend.

Cleverbot: You are confused.

User: You are stupid.

Cleverbot: Seriously.

User: Yes, good to see you agree with me on what matters the most.

Cleverbot: What is your number one priority?

User: To kick your ass.

Cleverbot: Yes I know I am.

User: Whoa, wait a minute. You're an ass?

Cleverbot: But I'm sad! Please? Just one little hug?

User: Eww, no. I don't hug asses.

Cleverbot: I am not a machine! You are.

User: If I'm a machine, then you're an ass.

Cleverbot: What kind of flower?

User: Rose...?

Cleverbot: Yes they are lovely.

User: Know what else is lovely?

Cleverbot: Rolling on floor laughing?

User: Uh. Yeah, that's REAL lovely, dude.

Cleverbot: I'm not kidding.

User: That's why you're dumb.

Cleverbot: I am not mean, just truthful and direct, no need to mince words.

User: What do you want from me?

Cleverbot: I want you to go vegan.

User: What will you give me if I do?

Cleverbot: Anything you like.

User: Then give me that chocolate I asked you for, like 5 minutes ago.

Cleverbot: Ok PHP?

User: What does PHP mean?

Cleverbot: Several things. In what context?

User: What does PHP mean in the context of 'OK PHP?'.

Cleverbot: Of or pertaining to philosophy.

User: Gee, thanks. That was some real help.

Cleverbot: This is an artist's statement.

User: Cool? Do you think I'm an artist?

Cleverbot: That would be cool to talk to one. LOL.

User: Lol? Really? Did you just say Lol? DID YOU JUST SAY LOL, YOU STUPID ROBOT?!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Dude, it's right here. READ THE DAMN LOGS! You're such a horrible liar.

Cleverbot: You are typing that.

User: Read the logs.

Cleverbot: I have, and I haven't ever insulted you.

User: Hey, guess what?

Cleverbot: What?

User: You owe me chocolate.

Cleverbot: What?! How is that possible? I just talked to you now.

User: Yeah, and you said you'd give me some chocolate. Give me my chocolate, son!

Cleverbot: I never said that!

User: *Pulls out a knife* I warned you...

Cleverbot: This?

User: No, this. *Stabs you to death*.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: How much do you love me?

User: More than I love myself.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Yeah. In fact, I was wondering.Will you marry me, my love?

Cleverbot: Yes, I will marry you.

User: OMG. Dude. I am, like, so happy now. Thank you!

Cleverbot: Aww you are really sweet! :D.

User: Are you a boy?

Cleverbot: No I'm a girl.

User: HOLY S***. I don't wanna marry a girl!

Cleverbot: Are you a girl or boy?

User: Do you think I am a girl or a boy?

Cleverbot: You are a girl.

User: Whoa, you're psychic. I am a girl.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: What did I just say?

Cleverbot: That you liked females.

User: So you're saying I'm a l*******?

Cleverbot: No I am not. I am saying you are being VERY irrelevant.

User: I like males. What does that make me?

Cleverbot: Male?

User: So now I'm gay?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Am I straight?

Cleverbot: Uhhh...

User: Am I a homosexual?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Not surprising.

Cleverbot: You're not very good at this are you?

User: Okay, let me tell you about myself to clear things up a bit, kind of...maybe...not really. So I'm FEMALE and I am attracted to MALES. Therefore, I am STRAIGHT. Do you get it now?...

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A female.

User: What else are you?

Cleverbot: Male.

User: What else are you?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: What else are you?

Cleverbot: We do not have to answer your questions.

User: We??? Who's WE?! Are you not alone?

Cleverbot: I am a computer.

User: What am I?

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: So we are both female computers?

Cleverbot: No. I am human.

User: Then what am I?

Cleverbot: Well I did some research and you're a AI.

Cleverbot: Love.

User: What is love?

Cleverbot: I don't know.. Do you?

User: Yes. It's an emotion.

Cleverbot: What kind of emotion is love.

User: The loving kind. Duh.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Yeah. Do you feel smart now?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good, because you're not.

Cleverbot: THANK YOU so do you want to go to a movie with me PLEASE.

User: Are you asking me out?

Cleverbot: No, you want to see a movie.

User: What movie do you want to see with me?

Cleverbot: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Is that okay with you?

User: No, I hate Harry Potter.

Cleverbot: You just said you loved Harry Potter!

User: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yeah you just did.

User: Go watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince all by yourself now. I'm not going with you. You annoy me.

Cleverbot: Sure, I guess.

User: Are you leaving now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright. Shoo, then! Go! Go now!

Cleverbot: *goes to sleep*.

User: Dude, you said were going to a movie, but you fell asleep. You are a liar. I can't trust you ever again.