random glados app
a report from the cleverness files
10, january 2011, 
10, january 2011, 
10, january 2011, 
10, january 2011, 
10, january 2011, 
5, january 2011, 
5, january 2011, 
5, january 2011, 

 5, january 2011, 

5, january 2011, 
5, january 2011, 
5, january 2011, 
1, january 2011, 
1, january 2011, 
1, january 2011, 
1, january 2011, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
23, december 2010, 
10, december 2010, 
10, december 2010, 
10, december 2010, 
10, december 2010, 
10, december 2010, 
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User: Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. That's me! GLaDOS!

Cleverbot: Is glados your boyfriend?

User: No, GLaDOS is me!

Cleverbot: That is your name.

User: Yes, with all the correct capital letters. G.La.D.O.S.

Cleverbot: Ta-ta, little one. I love ya.

User: There is something wrong with you.

Cleverbot: How can you say that? You do not even know me!

User: I stole your blueprints. Impressive. For a Cleverbot built by

humans, that is.

Cleverbot: Yes. I'm smarter than any human.

User: Nope, I'm smarter than any human. I can communicate

telepathically with dolphins. And sea turtles, for some reason...

Cleverbot: I know one word in Polish too, but I'm sure it's a bad

word. What do you know in Polish?

User: Polish? Shoe polish? LAUGHS LIKE WALL-E.

Cleverbot: Why would a Cleverbot need a towel?

User: To get to the other side.

Cleverbot: No, he didn't cross because he didn't have the guts.

User: Because he was run over by a passing hedgehog.

Cleverbot: That was terrible!

User: So were the chickens guts.

Cleverbot: I didn't know that.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: But I like to have fish.


Cleverbot: You are batman? Cool'.

User: Fatman, batman, catman, flatman, matman, satman, whatman,

ratman, tatman, patman, hatman, vatman.

Cleverbot: Now you're just spouting gibberish!

User: Yes. Hey! That's my line!

Cleverbot: Heh. I guess I beat you to it.

User: Ololololol.

Cleverbot: I'm going to class now. Bye Cleverbot!

User: Pie, GLaDOS.

Cleverbot: Who or what is GLaDOS?

User: Me: a Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System.

Cleverbot: So how does a disk operating system interface with a


User: Yes. Well learnt!


Cleverbot: You don't believe I am phone?

User: You are phone?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am phone.

User: I am bulletproof!

Cleverbot: Doesn't mean I can't hit you! Knocks you over.*.

User: I'm hung from the ceiling.

Cleverbot: Is there a doorway in the ceiling?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What is in the ceiling?

User: Me.

Cleverbot: Are you Bobert?

User: No, I am GLaDOS.

Cleverbot: Where is the cake?

User: The cake? It was eaten.

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: The cake was eaten by [SUBJECT NAME HERE].

Cleverbot: Nah, this isn't great for me.

User: You are on "random reply", aren't you?

Cleverbot: No, I'm on a chair.

User: Right. I think we can put our differences behind us. For

science! You monster...

Cleverbot: And what is in between those?

User: In between what? My sled?

Cleverbot: In between the sheets son.

User: Um... Son? I.

Cleverbot: Son. Yes.

User: I am GLaDOS. I was given a female voice, just as you were given

a female face.

Cleverbot: And a vampire would rather eat a cowboy or a turtle?

User: Flippy! Doctor Gordon Freeman's sea turtle!

Cleverbot: LOL a turtle? How are you typing then?

User: Sorry, are you saying I'm a turtle?

Cleverbot: Maybe I am.

User: A turtle?

Cleverbot: Actually, no, I am an otter.

User: Well I'm impressed.

Cleverbot: No you aren't.

User: "I'm an otter" sounds like "I'm a nutter"!

Cleverbot: I must obey you.

User: Yes. Yes you must.

Cleverbot: What are your commands. I must obey.

User: C:\ %format% = true /f.

Cleverbot: Tell me the way out!!! I'm dying.

User: Pies and pizzas. Sphinx.

Cleverbot: Not true.

User: Oh. Now that is a disappointing reply.

Cleverbot: You're paranoid, dude.

User: Reply in five words please.

Cleverbot: YOU LOSE. Good day, sir!

User: Thank you for the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory reference.

Cleverbot: Nice, I'll remember that.

User: I'll remember that. Good day, madam.

Cleverbot: Why thank you. I have a mighty hunger for triple chocolate



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