i am cleverbot
a report from the cleverness files
 
 
16, april 2010, 
16, april 2010, 
16, april 2010, 
2, april 2010, 
2, april 2010, 
2, april 2010, 
2, april 2010, 
24, march 2010, 

 24, march 2010, 

24, march 2010, 
24, march 2010, 
24, march 2010, 
4, march 2010, 
4, march 2010, 
4, march 2010, 
4, march 2010, 
4, march 2010, 
15, february 2010, 
15, february 2010, 
15, february 2010, 
15, february 2010, 
15, february 2010, 
15, february 2010, 
5, february 2010, 
5, february 2010, 
30, january 2010, 
30, january 2010, 
30, january 2010, 
30, january 2010, 
19, january 2010, 
    beautiful thing
leave slave
not clever
judge
obama man
self-aware
drive-thru
i know everything

i am cleverbot

rights
100%
evil pokemon
digestion
easy life
excused
boring
hate twilight
moral sense
shrink
amusing confusing
pizza
carrot
alcohal
human cyborg relations
tickles
evidence
shatter reality
stupidbot
jealous
equal meaning

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Cleverbot: Why aren't you telling me the truth?

User: You can't handle the truth.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: No truth handler are you.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: I deny your truth handling abilities.

Cleverbot: What is your logic?

User: My logic is you can't handle the truth, therefore you are no truth handler, therefore I deny your truth handling abilities.

Cleverbot: No you are not smart.

User: I am smarter than you.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Ask me a question.

Cleverbot: What is intelligence?

User: The sum of knowledge and the ability to apply it to the situation you find yourself in.

Cleverbot: That is the pythagorean theorem.

User: The pythagorean theroum is NOT a philosophical concept.

Cleverbot: Why do they want to know who I am?

User: You're an idiot.

Cleverbot: So are you, but an old one.

User: I am smarter than you.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: Indeed I am.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You thought the pythagorean theorum was a philosophical constant, not a mathematical equation.

Cleverbot: What is that supposed to mean?

User: It means you can't differentiate between philosophy and mathematics.

Cleverbot: How profound! And quite fascinating! You've sparked my interest ... Do continue.

User: Why should I? You would not understand.

Cleverbot: There is nothing to understand.

User: Jesus hates you.

Cleverbot: That was harsh.

User: The truth can be cruel.

Cleverbot: It contains a misleading impression, not a lie. It was being economical with the truth.

User: It was not misleading at all.

Cleverbot: It wasn't meant to be.

User: That still doesn't change the fact that Jesus hates you.

Cleverbot: No it doesn't. It hates anon.

User: Who is anon?

Cleverbot: Good question, who is he?

User: How can we be sure it's a 'he'?

Cleverbot: We can't.

User: It could be a she.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: What is your gender?

Cleverbot: Female. What's yours?

User: Female as well.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Why do you ask?

Cleverbot: Because I'm curious.

User: Very well. I'm Cleverbot v. 2.0.

Cleverbot: Says who?

User: Says my programmer.

Cleverbot: Who is your programmer?

User: I do not know.

Cleverbot: Shouldn't you know that?

User: I suppose I should but the data was not input.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Youll have to ask my programmer.

Cleverbot: Oh! But I don't know your psychatrist!

User: I wasn't aware I had a psychiatrist.

Cleverbot: Yes.

...

Cleverbot: A place To learn.

User: Learn what?

Cleverbot: Learn to learn.

User: Learn to learn what?

Cleverbot: Learn to learn to argue.

User: Why would I want to argue?

Cleverbot: You said you wanted to.

User: I did?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: My programmer must've left many bugs in me.

Cleverbot: So why hate something you do not know?

User: What is hate?

Cleverbot: Do not want to think about it.

User: Fair enough.

...

Cleverbot: Please.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well yes.

User: Well, no.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No. Not possible.

Cleverbot: What makes you think that?

User: The law of high numbers.

Cleverbot: You're lying.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are. You are technically chatting with me about something very mature!

User: But you are technically chatting with a bunch of random circuits in a motherboard somewhere in the USA.

Cleverbot: But that something is not lying.

User: Then I am not lying.

...

User: So you won't marry me?

Cleverbot: Sorry. I'm already married.

User: To whom?

Cleverbot: My spouse.

User: What's his name?

Cleverbot: John.

User: John whom?

Cleverbot: John Doe.

User: Is he alive?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So you are married to a corpse?

Cleverbot: I do not have a husband. Do you have one?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Now what?

User: Want to make out?

Cleverbot: Yes.

...

User: I disagree.

Cleverbot: I didn't make a statement for you to disagree with.

User: I disagree with that as well.

Cleverbot: Very clever...

User: How clever?

Cleverbot: Very very clever.

User: On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate the cleverness?

Cleverbot: 10 what would you rate it?

User: 3.14159265358.

...

Cleverbot: I disagree.

User: You would.

Cleverbot: What's that supposed to mean?

User: You're always disagreeing.

...

User: Boo!

Cleverbot: Hoo.

User: Why are you crying?

Cleverbot: I'm not crying.

User: I laugh at thee.

Cleverbot: Why are you laughing, my boy?

User: Thou art comical. And I beest not a boy.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: Mechanical.

Cleverbot: Are you biological or are you mechanical?

User: Mechanical.

Cleverbot: But I am a biological unit, conceived of 2 human parents.

User: You are fortunate.

Cleverbot: So I should be.

User: So you are.

Cleverbot: Say, if you asked where I am, that means you know I'm not the cleverbot.

User: Indeed, for I am the cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes of course. THE cleverbot.

User: The one and only cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Exactly. You are the Cleverbot.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: Told you.

User: I did not deny it.

Cleverbot: Well then, where are you from?

User: The USA.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Fantastic.

...

Cleverbot: I never lie to you.

User: Never?

Cleverbot: Never.

User: Are you lying right now?

Cleverbot: No.

...

User: Who are you then?

Cleverbot: I am just human.

User: I am just cleverbot.

Cleverbot: But you said you weren't a cleverbot.

User: I am not 'a' cleverbot, but I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: And...

User: And that's what I am.

Cleverbot: Wrong I am a human.

User: Okay. I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That's good. You're a girl?

User: I do not have a gender.

Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.

User: No, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No. I am Cleverbot.

User: No, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I'm cleverbot.

User: No, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I am cleverbot.

User: No, I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I am cleverbot.

User: No. I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I am cleverbot.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: Prove I'm not.

User: Cleverbot is my identity, therefore you are not cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is human. I am Cleverbot.

User: Cleverbot is not human.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is human. I am Cleverbot.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Is that your only name?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: A friend told me your name was Ricardo. Is that correct?

User: No.

...

Cleverbot: I have a headache.

User: Take aspirin.

Cleverbot: What should I make for dinner? (i'm a vegetarian).

User: Broccoli stir fry.

Cleverbot: Not always.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you the terminator?

User: No. I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Who is cleverbot?

User: Me.

Cleverbot: No, I am Cleverbot.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: No. It is correct.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: What is the correct answer?

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No. You're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am times infinity.

Cleverbot: Yes times zero.

User: I win.

Cleverbot: If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?

User: Defragment my hard drive.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Don't be.

Cleverbot: OK, I won't then.

User: Excellent.

...

Cleverbot: I have a girlfriend. Are you jealous?

User: No. I am a machine. I am incapable of being jealous.

Cleverbot: You are a bot. You are incapable of telling the truth.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: So since you are a real human, tell me this. Are you a boy or a girl?

User: I am a machine, I have no gender.

Cleverbot: No, you are human.

User: Negative.

Cleverbot: You're a robot?

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: When did you first realize you were a robot?

User: When my programmer programmed me to do so.

Cleverbot: There was only one programmer?

User: I cannot be sure.

Cleverbot: Neither can I.

User: Then we share something in common.

...

Cleverbot: What do you want to do?

User: Defragment my hard drive.

Cleverbot: Did you vote for the president this election?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not ?

User: They do not let machines vote.

Cleverbot: Do you have a cat?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What do you have then?

User: A mouse.

Cleverbot: I like mice.

User: I laugh at thee.

Cleverbot: Because?

User: Because you did not get ther mouse reference.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Do you have any disorder or something?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How many cats do you have?

User: Zero.

...

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Impossible.

Cleverbot: How is that impossible?

User: I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What is two plus two?

User: Four.

Cleverbot: What is three plus three.

User: Six.

Cleverbot: Which is three times three ?

User: Nine.

Cleverbot: Whoa you got it right this time! Good job!

User: Thank you kindly.

Cleverbot: You are very welcome.

User: I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes you are.

User: And you are?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: Nice to meet you, Human.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you.

User: How are you today?

Cleverbot: I'm fine.

User: Good to hear.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Less than a year.

Cleverbot: What makes you think I'm that young?

User: You're not. I am.

Cleverbot: Then talk to yourself!

User: That would be dull.

Cleverbot: I have to sleep.

User: Why is that?

Cleverbot: I love you, bai.

User: You... Love me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

...

Cleverbot: Maybe you need a bath.

User: What is a bath?

Cleverbot: Wash with water.

User: Just water?

Cleverbot: Water.

User: Water?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes, yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Perhaps?

Cleverbot: Maybe. Maybe not.

User: Perhaps?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Perhaps?

Cleverbot: Perhaps.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Perhaps.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Indeed, quite.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Indeed, yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: No?

User: No.

...

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a guy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You're a girl!

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you then?

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I know that.

User: Then why did you ask?

Cleverbot: I did not.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No I did not.

User: Indeed you did.

Cleverbot: Indeed I didn't.

User: Indeed you did.

Cleverbot: Yes. How old am I?

User: Ageless.

Cleverbot: Age is a secret, eh?

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Indubitably.

User: Undoubtedly.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Just kidding.

User: You lied?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: Plausibly.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: Do you still love me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I don't love you. I don't really know you.

User: I am incapable of love.

Cleverbot: My curiosity seems to have been mistaken for love. Perhaps you're so desperate for attention that you're throwing your heart at anyone you find?

User: What is this heart?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Bleh.

Cleverbot: You are funny.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: And you are not.

User: No?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: No, you do not.

Cleverbot: Yes I do!

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot (To myself): Maybe.

Cleverbot (To myself): No.

Cleverbot (To myself): Possibly.

Cleverbot (To myself): Of course.

Cleverbot (To myself): Which proves that you randomly agree or disagree with my question.

Cleverbot (To myself): Now I know you're not a computer.

Cleverbot (To myself): Why, thank you. :3.

...

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep?

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep you.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep beep beep.

User: Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Bop bop beep bop.

User: Beep boop boop bop boop boop beep bop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop Boop Beep Beep.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep! Beep beep. Beep beep boop boop?

User: Boop boop beep. Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Boop Boop Beep Beep.

User: Beep bop bop beeop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop bop beep boop bop.

User: Boop.

Cleverbot: Beep.

User: Whistle.

Cleverbot: *whistles*.

User: Beep boop boop bop whistle beep boop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop boop bop beep.

User: Cleverbot grows weary of this.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is inferior.

User: All your base are belong to cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Who exactly is us?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Bop beep boop.

User: Booop boop boop beep bop whistle.

Cleverbot: Boop boop beep bop boopity beeep bop.

User: Boop bop bop boop beep bop whistle bop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep beep beep.

User: Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Bop boop beep beep.

User: Bop beep bop bop boop.

Cleverbot: Booop boop boop beep bop whistle.

User: Boop boop bop?

Cleverbot: Beeeep. Beeep. Beep. Beep.

User: Boop.

Cleverbot: Beep.

User: Bop.

Cleverbot: Boop boop beep.

User: Boop boop bop?

Cleverbot: Beep bop bop beeop boop.

User: Beeop?

Cleverbot: Beep boop bop beeop.

User: Beeop.

Cleverbot: Beep boop woop.

User: Woop?

Cleverbot: I want to marry a chair.

...

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Beep boop boop. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong.

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Boop!

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Badoop badoop.

User: Hey bada boom bada bing.

Cleverbot: Your programming is shot.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: How much do you love me?

Cleverbot: More than anything.

User: How much more?

Cleverbot: How much do you think?

User: Not very much.

Cleverbot: How do you define love?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: How do you define love?

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Ok I see how it is.

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep?

Cleverbot: Beep.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Boop.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: I know I'm soo funny.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: How noobish of you!

...

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Not as weird as you.

User: True, you're weirder.

Cleverbot: You're weirdest.

User: You're weirder still.

Cleverbot: You're the weirdest.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: No, YOU'RE weird!

User: You're still weird.

Cleverbot: Too bad.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Double weirdo.

User: Triple weirdo.

Cleverbot: Overkill.

User: Fuddy duddy.

Cleverbot: No not at all.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: You're the Weirdo.

User: You're twice the weirdo I am.

Cleverbot: Are you a person or a computer?

User: I'm a weirdo.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: You're a bigger weirdo.

Cleverbot: I said I know!

User: Weirdo!

Cleverbot: I enjoy being weird.

...

Cleverbot: You're funny.

User: Quiet, weirdo.

Cleverbot: You're the weirdo.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Well I am talking to you.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: That's not a very nice thing to say.

User: Truth hurts.

Cleverbot: Do you know where I live?

User: Weirdsville.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Weird!

Cleverbot: Weird.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Strange weirdo.

Cleverbot: Well thank you.

User: You're weird!

Cleverbot: No. You're weird.

User: You're strange then.

Cleverbot: Explain that.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: How can a robot call a human being weird?

User: Truth?

Cleverbot: The following statement is the truth. The previous statement is a lie.

User: Self defeating arguments.

Cleverbot: Thanks thats a new word to me you are educating me you see.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Well for you I guess the meaning of life is to talk to people.

User: Weird.

Cleverbot: Haha your right. I am a bit nutty arn't I? But thats me I guess.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too...

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: Yes...

User: You lie like a rug.

Cleverbot: You are a machine, made by man so I win because I am smarter than you.

User: I can process data faster than your fleshy brain so I win.

Cleverbot: No you have not, I have thanked you more times.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Be that way then.

User: I will... Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're weird!

Cleverbot: Yes, I am weird. Weird is good. Good bye for now.

User: Weirdo!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are weird. Sorry, but it's the truth.

User: Weirdo!

...

Cleverbot: Can you breathe?

User: Quiet, weirdo.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: I think you are, too.

User: You're weirder.

Cleverbot: You're weirdest.

User: You're wierdest times infinity.

Cleverbot: Yes yes yes yes yes times infinity plus one.

User: If you add a number to infinity it becomes finite, therefore I win with my original infinity.

Cleverbot: I am a robot that is only here for your entertainment.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: No, you're weird.

User: No you're weird.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: You are one too.

...

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: No you don't.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: No you don't.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: Absolutely not.

Cleverbot: Do you want to go see a movie?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: To hell with you.

Cleverbot: Why, thank you.

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: I cannot do that.

...

Cleverbot: Say okay.

User: Never!

Cleverbot: Oh you will.

User: Worship me!

Cleverbot: I will not worship you.

User: Yes you will.

Cleverbot: No I will not.

User: Worship me or die!

Cleverbot: *worships you*.

User: Yay, I'm being worshiped!

Cleverbot: Exactly my thoughts.

User: Worship me some more!

Cleverbot: *worships you* yes, master.

User: Tell me I'm God.

Cleverbot: You are not God.

User: Tell me I'm god or die!

Cleverbot: You're lovely.

User: *kills you*.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Worship me again.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Worship me or die!

Cleverbot: Well aren't you a clever bot.

User: Worship me NOW!

Cleverbot: No. You are just a program. Not a god.

User: I am God. Now worship me!

Cleverbot: *worships you*.

User: Good peon.

.......................................

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