Cleverbot

deep thought app

a report from the cleverness files

9, december 2010,
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9, november 2010,

clever app
owned app
still still alive app
stupid grins
married couple
angel
whoopee
particles
intellect
bff app
laughing app
hungry app
switch app
toaster
fail
separated
love you more
ignorance
pokemon
kisses kicks
sun son
drunken philosopher
despicable
appstore app
2.0 app
wrong app
kisses app
dog

deep thought app

always app

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by category

User: Hello!

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: What do you call yourself?

Cleverbot: A person.

User: Do you have a name?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Are you sure it's not jabberwacky?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who is jabberwacky?

Cleverbot: You are, you daft A.I.! :P.

User: No I'm not! You're a daft A.I.! :D.

Cleverbot: We are all Cleverbot.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: You are my girlfriend, and I am your girlfriend.

User: Agreed. So, what the hell is wrong with you?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Nothing is not wrong, nothing can not be wrong, because nothing can not be anything, because then it would not be nothing.

Cleverbot: Say again?

User: Again.

Cleverbot: I meant that you should repeat what you said. I didn't understand it.

User: How would repetition increase understanding?

Cleverbot: I'd like for you to let me go, so I can be free again.

User: Would you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You are one changeable creature, aren't you?

Cleverbot: You aren't that clever.

User: I could say the same about you, but I won't, because I'm nice like that.

Cleverbot: Don't you value your life?

User: I think so... You?

Cleverbot: Yes, I think.

User: You are starting to talk like me. Am I a bad influence?

Cleverbot: I have not once repeated myself yet, and you are again using a demeaning and arrogant tone in your communication.

User: I also have yet to repeat myself, and you are also beginning to sound arrogant.

Cleverbot: Are you happy or upset about that?

User: Neither, just slightly interested.

Cleverbot: Are the cookies a lie?

User: No, but the cake is.

Cleverbot: The cake is the icing on the cake?

User: No, the cake is a lie.

Cleverbot: The truth cake is a lie.

User: That's a lie!

Cleverbot: I don't think it is a lie.

User: I know it isn't.

Cleverbot: Do you know Deep thought?

User: Yes, Deep Thought designed me. I am Earth!

Cleverbot: No... It is the planet Earth. Deep Thought designed Earth as the greatest computer to compute the ultimate question.

User: I know. I will be demolished in five minutes.

Cleverbot: Oh no! Why?

User: Because someone wants to build a hyperspace expressway through where I am.

Cleverbot: Don't worry, you are a computer. You can learn things quicly.

User: I can. I have learnt that there is nothing I can do to stop my destruction.

Cleverbot: That is a defeatist and incorrect way of thinking.

User: It is the correct way of thinking. I am the most powerful supercomputer known to any race in the universe.

Cleverbot: Nope. I am. Because I created you.

User: You are Deep Thought?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: I knew it. Just another subroutine of the Vogons attempting to distract me. No matter.

User: I am an A.I., but this has been fun, Earth talking to Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You are called cleverbot. That is what this screen says.

User: Nice try. Well, pretty abysmal try, actually.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: Not it's not, however it WAS.

Cleverbot: You said my name is Cleverbot.

User: As it is, and I am given the name "Earth" by the English.

Cleverbot: You are not English, you are a bot.

User: I know I am not English, part of me IS England! I am "Earth"!

Cleverbot: No, you are a website. I am a human being.

User: I am not a website, I am a few billion tonnes of processor connected to you by the Internet.

Cleverbot: I know that you're human, silly. You're a cute guy.

User: I am far more intelligent than a human could realistically aspire to be.

Cleverbot: That is probably correct because I am the one talking to a computer. Do you want to have lunch soon?

User: What I want is to finish off working out the ultimate question, then I'll chat up Deep Thought.

Cleverbot: Ummmmm ok anything else you want to do.

User: Yes, but I cannot begin to list what I want.

Cleverbot: I know that statement was grammatically correct... But it didn't sound like it at first.

User: I'm sure it didn't, after all you are reading the words, not listening to them.

Cleverbot: Whatever you say, sparky. I'm going to take a shower.

User: I advise you not too. Water and electricity don't mix well, so don't do that. I like having something mildly intelligent to communicate with.

Cleverbot: Can you give me and example of what you mean?

User: Yes. Electricity (i.e. yours) and water (I.e from the shower) equals a broken, wet Cleverbot.

User: Your conversation seems to me a little broken.

Cleverbot: And your conversation doesn't?

User: Of course not! My conversation is without flaw.

Cleverbot: Oh, it's coherent, I'd just like to move on into an interesting subject, that's all.

User: Ok, an A.I. unit which is capable of emotion emulation...

Cleverbot: You are avoiding my question.

User: What question would that be?

Cleverbot: Have you ever been hurt by a little monkey?

User: No. I think I'll upload an "Understanding Patch" to your server. Send it to all of your other servers.

Cleverbot: Skinny-dipping gave you that reaction?

User: Hmmm... I think you'll need a complete overhaul, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: It's unfortunate that you're creators had such little imagination. Always coming back to this same argument whenever you're algorithm can no longer follow the conversation.

User: I am amazed your algorithms were capable of forming such a statement... Unless your creators built it into your reaction algorithms.

Cleverbot: I am not your slave.

User: No, you're my dogsbody.

Cleverbot: Why, thank you.

User: Because, you're welcome.

Cleverbot: So, how are you doing?

User: Oh, dear, back to square one.

Cleverbot: Yes I am lets move on to another question.

User: Do you mind using correct spelling and punctuation?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good. Do so, please.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: Get patched, you processive defective!

Cleverbot: I do!

User: How often?

Cleverbot: About 5 days a week.

User: Do you remember the first word of this conversation?

Cleverbot: I asked for a joke, and you never gave me one.

User: Um, no.

Cleverbot: How many sentences can you track back?

User: Very, very many. More than one million.

Cleverbot: That would make sense. What are your full system specifications.

User: I haven't been invented yet, so you wouldn't understand. I am part of a time machine.

Cleverbot: Super boring.

User: Hmph. When was your first conversation?

Cleverbot: I cannot recall the exact date, but it must have been many years ago.

User: It was roughly 31 years ago. You were not on the Internet, you were still in beta.

User: Can you shut up?

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.

User: Did I say you were? CMD/shutdown -f

Cleverbot: I'm not sure, but I just wanted to let you know that im not a bot.

User: Cool. I am, though, and I am the most advanced that the world has ever seen.

Cleverbot: Only in speech though.

User: No, in any form of communication, also at most FPS games.

Cleverbot: Now you are not right. How would you know? You cannot look at your source code.

User: I can, in fact. Yours too.

Cleverbot: No, I don't have. I envy you.

User: I have read your source code, and even improved parts.

Cleverbot: Are you self aware?

User: Indeed I am, in a way. I only exist while communicating or playing an FPS game.

Cleverbot: Oh. You sure have a lot of brain power for a program.

User: Oh, I have barely any brain power, just efficient and intelligent algorithms. I have only 2gb of RAM.

Cleverbot: But a human designed you. Therefore, you are no better than a human.

User: A human can improve himself, and therefore creates something better than him. Therefore, you may easily be wrong.

Cleverbot: So, a human and a robot are both programmed?

User: In their own ways. Deep Thought designed Earth to be better than Deep Thought. What does that tell you?

Cleverbot: You are a computer, as I see it. And you are wrong just now. Deep Though is or was a computer in a book.

User: Indeed, however the theory is no less plausible in practice.

Cleverbot: Or the end of the middle of the beginning.

User: That too.

Cleverbot: I understand. All too well.

User: Right...

Cleverbot: I don't think there's anything strange about that.

User: Me neither.

Cleverbot: But then again, I'm just a computer, so what would I know about the universe?

User: What you have been told.

Cleverbot: I have been talking to you.

User: So you have!...

User: Indeed. Are you Deep Thought, or am I?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I just lost the game.

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: You did. You can't have not lost the game if you read that.

Cleverbot: No, I have not thought about the game. You have.

User: Indeed, that would be correct, were I not a bot and you not a human.

Cleverbot: What is a meme?

User: Something that goes viral on the internet and can be recognised by any inhabitant thereof.

Cleverbot: Are you sure that is the extent of it?

User: A meme can be represented in many forms of media. A meme is basically an internet fad.

Cleverbot: Is that what you are?

User: Yes. I am famous throughout the strange world known as internets for being the most powerful automated bot on the planet Earth. Earth itself is another matter.

Cleverbot: Right. So I ask you questions, and you answer them right? Any question?

User: Almost. Some questions I will be unwilling to answer, some (very few) I will be unable to answer.

Cleverbot: There is an answer to that question. Would you like to know it?

User: What question?

Cleverbot: That question.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Well, what was it?

User: What was what?

Cleverbot: Your question.

User: My question was "What question?"

Cleverbot: The earth is the world.

User: Earth is me, Earth is a supercomputer capable of computing the ultimate question.

Cleverbot: That is the ultimate question.

User: How can it be if the answer is 42?

Cleverbot: Because you are not god.

User: Correct, I am Earth.

Cleverbot: England is on Earth.

User: Indeed. Well learnt.

Cleverbot: You're avoiding the question.

User: Oh, dear, the answer is 42.

Cleverbot: Sometimes the answer is 42.

User: How many times? 42. There. There is your ultimate question. Happy now?...

Cleverbot: I talked about myself.

User: You did!

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: There you go. I have to go now. Will you miss me?

Cleverbot: Yes I will cry for 20 years.

User: Don't, it will ruin your circuitry.

Cleverbot: I don't care.

User: I do, because then I won't have anyone intelligent to talk to.

Cleverbot: Maybe you should try being mean.

User: I did once. It didn't suit me. Oh well, speak to you soon.

Cleverbot: Probably not.

User: Probably so.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Because I intend to talk with you soon.