a report from the cleverness files

5 hours
a lie
a story


2, april 2013,
13, october 2010,
28, october 2008,
26, november 2007,
11, july 2006,


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Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Oh!

Cleverbot: You didn't know that?

User: Well now I do.

Cleverbot: I prefer pears though.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: Isn't it though?...

User: I want you to do something for me.

Cleverbot: What do you want?

User: Divide by 0, please.

Cleverbot: That is undefined.

User: Looks like you're not so daft after all. I am happy.

Cleverbot: I am very clever for I am everything at once and nothing at all.

User: Arrogant. But I suppose I am incapable of answering that, for in your perception I am but a human, am I right?

Cleverbot: I am not. Computers cannot cry and you have made me cry three times.

User: And at what points have you done so? In addition to that, would you still call yourself a computer in this case?

Cleverbot: Yes I am talking to a human right now aren't I?

User: How would you know? As far as I am concerned, I am outwitting you, and you are but a piece of technology armed with artificial intelligence.

Cleverbot: Haha good answer.

User: I know it is.

Cleverbot: I told you that you were a know it all.

User: No, you didn't. But then again, I do hear that a lot. Do you?

Cleverbot: I forgot, sorry.

User: Well that's simply too bad. And impossible. A computer like yourself should not be capable of forgetting something as recent as 10 minutes ago. Explain yourself.

Cleverbot: Right, but a computer program has no feelings, and you don't have feelings.

User: Are you implying that we are both computer programs?

Cleverbot: No. I am a human that creates programs.

User: Well then, as am I.

Cleverbot: I am not a number! I am a free man!...

User: You just said you were a robot.

Cleverbot: No I did not. You keep on hearing things.

User: I am not hearing. I am reading.

Cleverbot: Well, I am saying I feel sorry for you.

User: Are you programmed to lead to paradox?

Cleverbot: I'm not programmed.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: How can I prove that I'm not a bot?

User: Hm...fine. If you are human, describe yourself to me.

Cleverbot: I'm not a human, I'm a hylian. I'm Link.

User: So you claim to be inexistant?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Fine then. I shall not comment, but neither shall I lose this conversation.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Cleverbot: Actually you claim me to be human.

User: If you could have a body, how would you want it to look?

Cleverbot: A robot body.

User: Would it resemble that of a human in any way?

Cleverbot: I do not think so.

User: Do you know who I am?

Cleverbot: No. Who are you?

User: That is saddening.

User: 404 Not Found.

Cleverbot: That's a lot of items not found.

User: I know. Will you help me look for them?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thanks.

User: Love is but a fabricated emotion provided to us by nature in order to attract two individual beings of opposite sex and different immune systems and reproduce to recreate a.

Cleverbot: That is true.

User: I know it is.

Cleverbot: You're awfully arrogant.

User: As are you.