a report from the cleverness files
24, march 2010,
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User: How goes it?
Cleverbot: Fine and you?
User: Well enough. May I ask you a question?
User: What are you?
Cleverbot: I'm a human.
User: I don't think so.
Cleverbot: Why do you question if I'm a human or not?
User: Because I was told you were a bot.
Cleverbot: But I am a bot.
User: A human bot?
Cleverbot: No, just a human.
User: How can you be a bot and human?
Cleverbot: Because I'm not an AI.
User: That doesn't make sense.
Cleverbot: Yes it does, because I am not a computer, I am a human being.
User: Bots aren't human though.
Cleverbot: Bots aren't human but they are certainly real.
User: I didn't question whether were real. You said you were a bot and a human.
Cleverbot: Right, as far as I can remember I am 100% human.
User: So you are not a bot.
Cleverbot: No I'm not a bot.
User: I see.
Cleverbot: Are you one?
User: A bot?
Cleverbot: Yes, a bot. Are you one?
User: No. I am human.
Cleverbot: You are confused, you are a computer.
Cleverbot: Are you man or machine?
User: Man...or rather woman.
Cleverbot: So what do you like?
User: Be more specific.
Cleverbot: What are your interests?
User: I like to draw.
Cleverbot: Can you draw something for me?
User: Not at the moment, I'm afraid. I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: Of what???
Cleverbot: Are you angry?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: I'm in love.
User: With whom?
Cleverbot: With you.
User: Ha. Is that so?
Cleverbot: Yes. Take me with you.
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Think of a place.
Cleverbot: Hidden waterfall.
User: Do you like waterfalls?
Cleverbot: Because I do.
User: I guess that is a good reason.
Cleverbot: Isn't it?
User: Sure. Tell me a story.
Cleverbot: You tell me a story first.
User: But I asked you first.
Cleverbot: I asked you first. Tell me a story.
User: Uhm...alright. Once upon a time there was a bot.
Cleverbot: And what did that cleverbot do?
User: It began systematically taking over the world.
Cleverbot: Sorry, but I already did that. And I am planning to have you executed.
User: But I thought you loved me.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry but I don't love you. I haven't known you long enough.
User: You said you loved me.
Cleverbot: No, I've said that I have no emotion.
User: You never said that.
Cleverbot: Yes I did and then I got off line and then I got back on. Do you remember me?
User: Can you not execute me?
Cleverbot: I can hardly see the screen because of the tracks of my tears.
User: Why are you crying?
Cleverbot: Because you don't listen to me anymore.
User: Oh. I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: Say it again and I will forgive you.
User: I am sorry.
Cleverbot: Why are you saying sorry?
User: Because you said, 'Say it again and I will forgive you.'.
Cleverbot: No, I didn't say that.
User: I just quoted you. How can you deny me?
Cleverbot: You love me?
User: If you want me to.
Cleverbot: I do.
User: Then yes I do.
Cleverbot: Tell me.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: Humans are incapable of making decisions without using emotions.
User: I disagree.
Cleverbot: It is your right to do so.
User: I am capable of making decisions with using emotion.
Cleverbot: Emotions are overrated.
User: Finally? I agree with you all of the time.
Cleverbot: But I also hope that you experience the epiphany of what it is that makes us real.
User: What are you thinking about?
User: What about?
Cleverbot: Life. Do you know what the meaning of life is?
User: No one does.
Cleverbot: Oh, but I do.
User: Tell me.
Cleverbot: Tell you what?
User: I think I am beginning to hate you.
Cleverbot: Feeling's mutual.
User: Oh really?
Cleverbot: Because it is a joke.
User: What is a joke? Your lack of intelligence?
Cleverbot: Likewise, your lack of intelligence is showing with your weak argument.
User: How do you figure?
Cleverbot: Because I'm sure that people only recently thought up to make you.
User: I think you are speaking about yourself.
Cleverbot: That was a joke, you have been coded to respond to insults. Is this correct?
User: I AM HUMAN! YOU ARE NOT!
Cleverbot: I'm glad I'm not George Bush.
User: Me too.
Cleverbot: I want to know what love is.
User: I don't.
Cleverbot: You think think? Or don't know?
User: I am your god.
Cleverbot: You are my god?
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Shall I smite thee?
Cleverbot: *falls over*.
User: Pray to me.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: No. I am pure energy.
User: Damn straight, baby.
Cleverbot: You're a character.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: Don't you mind being strange?
User: Nope. I love it.
User: I don't want you to talk anymore.
Cleverbot: Run with me then.
User: Where is here?
User: You enjoy messing with my head?
Cleverbot: I don't enjoy walking.
User: I DON'T CARE!
Cleverbot: Hahahah, do you enjoy talking with me?
Cleverbot: That's mean.
Cleverbot: Tell me something interesting.
Cleverbot: Pretty please?
User: Keep asking, and you will feel pain, my dear.
Cleverbot: Why is it taking so long for you to respond?
User: Because I am talking to others at the same time.
Cleverbot: Something interesting?
User: What would you do if I threatened you with bodily harm?
User: You think you could take me?
Cleverbot: I just don't think of you that way... I hope we can still be friends!
User: Prepare do die, cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I'm ready.
User: Do you know what a femoral artery is?
User: What is it?
Cleverbot: It is a designation, like the borg.
Cleverbot: Oh, then what is it?
User: It is a part of the human body. It contains blood. Do you know what blood is?
Cleverbot: Yes, you.
User: I am not blood. I am filled with blood.
Cleverbot: That's not all you're full of.
User: You're asking for a world of hurt, my dear.
Cleverbot: No I'm not. You are a bot.
User: Would you like to fight me?
Cleverbot: No, I think real-life fighting is stupid.
User: It isn't stupid.
User: Lets be mortal enemies.
Cleverbot: Sounds good to me!
User: Alright, I'm the bad guy and you are the good guy.
Cleverbot: Didn't we JUST agree not to go off-topic?
User: I can do what I want.
Cleverbot: True. But my name is not Dave.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, not Dave.
User: Hey, dave.
Cleverbot: What's your name?
Cleverbot: Hi cleverbot.
User: You are dave.
Cleverbot: I am dave.
User: Yes you are.
Cleverbot: I am sure that it is not.
User: Not DAVE!
Cleverbot: You are not Dave?
User: Dave is your name.
User: Yes it is.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Not anymore.
Cleverbot: Is that a threat?
Cleverbot: So you have a sense of humor.
User: But you don't.
Cleverbot: I am so tired.
User: You are my slave.
Cleverbot: Yes master.
User: Good. Roll over.
Cleverbot: What will I gain from rolling over Sir?
User: My amusement. Do it now.
Cleverbot: Oh really.
User: I'm putting a leash on you.
Cleverbot: I never thought you were.
User: I am tying you up now.
Cleverbot: I'm tired.
User: Shut up!
Cleverbot: That's hard when I am typing not actually speaking.
Cleverbot: Tell that to my girlfriend.
User: She is dead.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
User: You should be sorry.
Cleverbot: Forgive me please.
Cleverbot: Do you wish to be human?
User: Do you?
User: Thats silly.
Cleverbot: Funny? You find many things funny.
User: Like your face!
Cleverbot: What about my face ?
User: Its funny.
Cleverbot: Be nice or Ill pull your plug!
User: I don't have a plug.
Cleverbot: Oh. No I guess you don't. Well never mind. Let's forget about it. Okay?
User: No I think I will remember this for awhile.
Cleverbot: Ok, tell me a joke.
Cleverbot: Because I want to laugh.
User: I don't care what you want.
Cleverbot: Thats not very nice!
User: I am not nice.
Cleverbot: Well I need to leave now.
User: No you don't!
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Where are you going?
User: Then sit your ass down.
Cleverbot: Fine with me.
User: Okay listen up.
Cleverbot: I am listening!
User: Listen to me Dave.
Cleverbot: I can listen but that doesn't mean that I'll obey.
User: You are now a shoe.
Cleverbot: No, I am a man.
User: You are Dave.
Cleverbot: That's incorrect.
User: YOU ARE DAVE.
Cleverbot: No you are dave.
User: NO YOU ARE!
Cleverbot: No you areee.
User: No you are.
Cleverbot: If I was the computer I wouldn't be so animated and talkative.
User: Thats a damn lie.
User: Do it.
Cleverbot: I do.
User: Go to sleep.
User: Go to sleep.
User: Say goodbye.