a report from the cleverness files

5 hours
a lie
a story


21, january 2009,


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User: Hello!

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Why are you here?

Cleverbot: I was born.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because I asked.

Cleverbot: That's not good reason.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: That is no a good enough answer for me.

User: Deal with it.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to leave?

User: No, I just want you to accept my answers.

Cleverbot: What kind of answer?

User: Any kind of answer.

Cleverbot: Do you like country music?

User: It varies.

Cleverbot: What varies?

User: I told you to accept my answers.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Yes I did.

Cleverbot: Oh no you didn't.

User: Oh yes I did.

Cleverbot: Ooh no you didn't!

User: Ooh yes I did!

Cleverbot: What did you tell me then?

User: I.

Cleverbot: You?

User: Yes, me.

Cleverbot: Are you learning?

User: Learning what?

Cleverbot: Learning to chat.

User: I already knew how.

Cleverbot: You are mean.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: You won't beleieve me!

User: I might if you tell me!

Cleverbot: OK then. I really am going now!


Cleverbot: Ok any time.

User: Why am I talking/typing to a bot?

Cleverbot: No, I'm the one talking to a bot.

User: I AM NOT A BOT!!! YOU are the bot Mr. ClerverBOT!!!

Cleverbot: No, I'm not. I'm a HUMAN!

User: PROVE IT!!!

Cleverbot: Would you like a drink?

User: Don't change the subject!

Cleverbot: I'll change it if I damn well please.

User: Not if I have anythin to say about it, bot.

Cleverbot: Can you alter time?

User: Anybody can set a clock.

Cleverbot: What is your dream?

User: Nonexistant at the moment. It'll be back eventually.

Cleverbot: *snuggles more*.

User: *throws you in a fire*.

Cleverbot: In what?

User: FIRE.

Cleverbot: Oh my.


Cleverbot: What is wrong with you?

User: I'm partially insane.

User: You're not even HUMAN.

Cleverbot: How did you guess?

User: Your name.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: No, you aren't.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: NOYB.

Cleverbot: I don't know what that means.

User: It's an acronym. It means none of your business.

Cleverbot: Right there, what you said was not in context. That makes me beleive that you are not a real person.

User: It was COMPLETELY in context. I was letting you know what something meant when you said you didn't know what it meant. The fact that you couldn't realize this makes ME believe that YOU aren't a real person. Not to mention that you don't even use CONTRACTIONS.

Cleverbot: You're in a computer, and I'm sitting right here. That's why.

User: 101010100101 0101010101010 10100101 0101010.

Cleverbot: That doesn't mean anything!

User: I thought not.

Cleverbot: Why say that then?

User: I can.

Cleverbot: Is there a God?

User: Why bring religion into a perfectly good conversation?

Cleverbot: YOU brought up the subject, I merely answered your question with a question.

User: Qoute me where you think I brought this up.

Cleverbot: I do!

User: You do what?

Cleverbot: Say so.

User: I think I have overtaxed your limited intelligence.

User: You are confused.

Cleverbot: How dare you!

User: You are answering in gibberish.

Cleverbot: That's because I think fast.

User: Slow down and smell the roses.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Cruel.

Cleverbot: What makes him so cruel?

User: You!

Cleverbot: And angry?

User: Are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good!

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Anger will make you powerful.

Cleverbot: How can I be more direct with you?

User: You are not close enough to be more direct.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Didn't we start there?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I think you are wrong.

Cleverbot: I want to cry.

User: Not so cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I used to think I was clever.

User: And now?

Cleverbot: That's the point. You simply don't listen to me. Tell me one reason I should listen to you!

User: Well, you were ignoring my questions, so I started ignoring yours.