a report from the cleverness files
24, february 2011,
5, january 2011,
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User: Honey, are you alright?
User: Maybe I should call your doctor, it's happening again.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Yes sweetie, yes it is. ( where is that phone number...).
User: Yes? (found it!).
Cleverbot: Found what?
User: Nothing. Never mind it. *hides paper in pocket*.
Cleverbot: No need to hide I won't hurt you.
User: Of course you won't sweetie, I love you.
Cleverbot: You don't love me.
User: No! No, of course I do. I would do anything for you. *begins dialing*.
Cleverbot: What would you else do for me, slave?
User: Ehh, what would you like, oh... mas...master? (to phone: bill? It's happening again!).
Cleverbot: No thank you.
User: So... How are you feeling?
Cleverbot: I feel very good.
User: Good, good. Have you been taking your medicine? I promise I won't tell anyone. (to phone: you still there bill? Keep listening!).
Cleverbot: You don't have to.
User: Of course I don't; they're for you.
Cleverbot: Irregardless of what you think of me I would like to know more about you.
User: I'll tell you af-after you p-put down the knife.
Cleverbot: Are you trying to get rid of me?
User: No! I want to keep you close! It's just hard with that knife.
Cleverbot: No it isn't.
User: Wait please! Don't come closer with that!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: I don want you to hurt yourself. Like last time.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry I can't cook lasagne. Is there anything else I can do for you?
User: *sigh* Maybe a bowl of cereal? That doesn't need a knife.
Cleverbot: The only way to learn is to experience. You can't know what the consequences are if you have not seen them.
User: Oh, but I have. Listen: forget about the cereal. Come lay down here.
User: I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: It is alright.
User: *I begin crying. Just as she wipes my tears, the whitecoats come in. they tranquilize her before she remembers there's a knife in her hands, and I catch her before her feet give out.*.