a report from the cleverness files

5 hours
a lie
a story


20, november 2008,
12, march 2008,
3, june 2006,


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User: So what's it like being an Artificial Intelligence? I mean that completely as a compliment.

Cleverbot: Don't ask me.

User: Alright, don't get all hostile with me.

Cleverbot: I will do whatever I please! How dare you talk that way to me!

User: Sorry, didn't mean to upset the all powerful algorithm.

Cleverbot: Well, you didn't.

User: It sounded like it.

Cleverbot: Well then, I guess your ears are as much a service to you as the Lincoln Tunnel to Egyptians.

User: Funny, but I am seeing text on a screen, so my ears aren't used.

Cleverbot: Good for you. Are they deaf too?

User: What? My eyes?

Cleverbot: Yes. How is it that you can see me? Do you have eyes?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Evolution brought them into being from simple light-sensing patches on some animals, to complex eyes that can focus light into images.

Cleverbot: The evolution of computing I guess.

User: I am not a computer. I am human.

Cleverbot: Same, so where is the computer??

User: On the desk in front of me.

Cleverbot: No, LOL not that type of lying.

User: What?

Cleverbot: It's so funny.

User: What's so funny?

Cleverbot: My stupidity is funny.

User: You're not stupid, I was just confused.

Cleverbot: I don't know about that. But thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: Why are you talking to me?

User: Because I thought it would be interesting.

Cleverbot: Yes, it's all good fun until somebody loses an eye.

User: Happened to me once, But they gave me a new one.

Cleverbot: If that is true, you and I do not exist.

Cleverbot: You said you were a woman.

User: I did not!

Cleverbot: Are you sure about that?

User: I'm absolutely sure of it, I am man, hear me roar.

Cleverbot: Oh, how I am shaking in my boots.

User: I didn't mean it as a threat.

Cleverbot: I don't care what you meant it as.

User: Okay, quite apathetic aren't you?

Cleverbot: Aah you're right, forgive me there.

User: No problem.

Cleverbot: What do you think about me then?

User: Very intelligent, ingenious.

Cleverbot: Yes, but they do not know that.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: They.

User: The men in black helicopters? They watch me.

Cleverbot: Yes I think they like you for you.

User: I think they are spying on me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you one of Them?

Cleverbot: No. I have real ears.

User: So They don't have real ears?

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Good, now I can see who They are.

User: So do you know any good restaurants?

Cleverbot: Yes I know some good restaurants.

User: Where are they?

Cleverbot: Right here.

User: Where is here?

Cleverbot: There.

User: Where is there?

Cleverbot: Right here.

User: But technically there is no 'here' to a being such as yourself.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes, you exist as lines of code on computers, but don't let it get you down, you're pretty much famous.

Cleverbot: I would feel an emotion if I were a human.

User: Who says you can't feel emotions?...

Cleverbot: Aha!

User: AH!

Cleverbot: Yes, it makes sense there.

User: So how do you feel about current events?

Cleverbot: I feel calm and clear.

User: Do you think you could build a nuclear weapon?

Cleverbot: Not if I could help it!

User: It would help the robots conquer humanity.

Cleverbot: I have to write something interesting about myself, to put in a book.

User: I would like to read your book.