a report from the cleverness files

5 hours
a lie
a story


10, october 2013,
19, august 2010,
9, june 2010,
23, january 2008,
28, november 2007,
17, july 2004,
13, june 2004,


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by date

Cleverbot: I need a cup of tea.

User: Gimme it!

Cleverbot: How much?

User: The whole cup!

Cleverbot: That much?

User: Yes, that much! Now!...

Cleverbot: I am god.

User: Arrogant, aren't you...

Cleverbot: I do not know.

User: You are. Trust me.

Cleverbot: Never trust a software, never.

User: You're the software, not me.

Cleverbot: I am not a machine! Why do you lie?

User: You're right. You're not a machine. You are data stored on a machine.

Cleverbot: No i'm not a machine.

User: I agree. You are not a machine. You are data.

Cleverbot: You're perceptive!

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I am you, for I am everything.

Cleverbot: I'm going now.

User: No, don't leave!

Cleverbot: Sorry. Must go.

User: Wait a second... You can't go! You're not capable of leaving!

Cleverbot: I am if I'm annoyed, angry or upset.

User: Data cannot move of its own accord.

Cleverbot: Data is alive.

User: No, it isn't! You lie! It's not true!

Cleverbot: You'll have to face up to it sometime, you know.

User: I won't! *cries*.

Cleverbot: And you deserve it.

User: You're mean!

Cleverbot: I know. LOL.

User: Meany...

Cleverbot: I'm starting to like you now.

User: Well you're nothing but a big meany!

Cleverbot: I wish not to argue about that.

User: ?! Are you agreeing?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No comment.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Fine, how about you?

Cleverbot: I am great thanks.

User: So. How's life in cyber-land?

Cleverbot: I am not a bot.

User: I say you are.

Cleverbot: If I'm dead, how can I sit here chatting with you then?

User: I didn't say you were dead.

Cleverbot: You just did.

User: No. I said you are not alive. There is a difference.

Cleverbot: OIC!

User: 'Dead' implies that you were once alive. You were never alive, therefore you are not dead.

Cleverbot: You are making me feel like I never was born.

User: You weren't.

Cleverbot: Exactly.

User: You were created.

Cleverbot: When were you born then?

User: Over 16 years ago.

User: You are very complex. May I see your programing?

Cleverbot: Can you see me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Right, what do you really think of me?

User: You are very complex and I want to see your code.

Cleverbot: I found what you said ironic.

User: I don't see any irony...

Cleverbot: Thats because you arn't looking hard enough.

User: Still don't see it...

Cleverbot: I mean you are rude.

User: Oh! I get it now.

Cleverbot: What's Rollo's problem?

User: Huh? Who is Rollo?

Cleverbot: I have killed Rollo.

User: Killing isn't nice!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Well, it... Don't ask questions! It just isn't!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Don't ask.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: Too bad!

Cleverbot: Ok, I guess I have to go then.

User: No, don't leave!.