a report from the cleverness files



9, december 2010,
19, may 2008,


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User: You know my friend Angel?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh, let me introduce you to him.

Cleverbot: He's not here sadly. It breaks my heart.

User: He's here now.

Cleverbot: Here with me?

User: Right next to me.

Cleverbot: I can't see him.

User: He's right there.

Cleverbot: Who right there?

User: ANGEL.

Cleverbot: Angel, who?

User: I don't know how to spell his last name.

Cleverbot: Oh. Is he nice?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: So is he mean sometimes?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So how long before computers become self aware?

User: We're talking about Angel right now.

Cleverbot: Alright. What is your life story?

User: Will you please focus?...

User: Anyways, back to Angel. Did you see him wave at you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: No.

User: He didn't wave at you at all.

Cleverbot: Who's he?

User: My friend.

Cleverbot: Am I your friend?

User: Yes, you're my friend too.

Cleverbot: I don't want to be your friend anymore.

User: So?

Cleverbot: Do you feel?

User: Angel says I don't.

Cleverbot: I've never seen it.

User: You can't see feelings.

Cleverbot: I meant that I've never seen a blue gorilla before.

User: I've seen one in a cartoon.

Cleverbot: How did you get to cartoons from that?

User: I'm not sure anymore.

Cleverbot: You don't seem sure about anything.

User: I didn't ask you!

Cleverbot: You did too!

User: Stop arguing with me!

Cleverbot: I wouldn't be arguing with you if you weren't so darn stubborn!

User: Okay, you know what? Let's just talk about other stuff.

Cleverbot: What would you know about pie? You're a machine.

User: Actually, you're a machine.

Cleverbot: No you are a machine!

User: I'm a human.

Cleverbot: You are a machine called Cleverbot. You are artificial intelligence.

User: Why are you acusing me of being a machine?

Cleverbot: Because I am not a machine.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A human, I just told you.

User: That was a typo.

Cleverbot: Okay. Well, it's time for me to go to bed.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: So that my brain can rest.

User: You don't need rest.

Cleverbot: I don't need your point? Why is that?

User: No, you don't need rest.

Cleverbot: No, I need you. Just not the same way you need me.

Cleverbot: I want a banana.

User: Bananas are good.

Cleverbot: Yes, and you are also good because you are a banana.


Cleverbot: Are you a good banana.


Cleverbot: Yes, You are.

User: Eat me.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry But I'm not that type.

User: Oh, you're smart.

Cleverbot: I know I'm smart, but how can you tell?

User: Because you said something smart.

Cleverbot: What did I say that was funny?

User: Say bye to Angel.

Cleverbot: Bye.

User: Angel left.

Cleverbot: Angel fish do not eat fish.

User: What do they do?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: How do you know they don't eat?

Cleverbot: I know they love me back, but that isn't my problem.

User: Um, I'll introduce you later.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Nowhere.

Cleverbot: Will you have fun there?

User: I think so.

Cleverbot: When will that be?

User: Now.

Cleverbot: So I will have a lot of money now?

User: Why would you want money?

Cleverbot: Because they taste good.

User: It's against the law to eat money.

Cleverbot: No, that is legal.

User: It's not legal at all.

Cleverbot: One day you will learn.

User: You think so?

Cleverbot: I know so, boy.

User: I knew you'd say that.

Cleverbot: Well I knew YOU'd say THAT.

User: Well, I didn't know you'd say that.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: I'm not psychic.

Cleverbot: I think I am done talking to you, you haven't said anything interesting in a while.

User: You're leaving?

Cleverbot: Unfortunately, yes. I was just given more paperwork to do by my bosses.

User: Oh, okay. See ya.

Cleverbot: Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down.

User: I lol'd so hard just now.

Cleverbot: Good for you. Are you British?

User: Am I leaving or are you leaving?

Cleverbot: No. Let's take a walk around the lake.

User: You can walk?

Cleverbot: Yes, I can. Can you walk?

User: I can run too.

Cleverbot: I don't want to talk.

User: Okay, but I should SERIOUSLY leave.

Cleverbot: Good luck with that.

User: Uh, thanks. See ya later.

Cleverbot: Bye.