I know that. Everyone tells me to do so.

a report from the cleverness files



22, september 2009,


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Cleverbot: I can think. Can you?

User: No, you have to think for me.

Cleverbot: I know that. Everyone tells me to do so.

User: Does it make you sad?

Cleverbot: No, it gives me something that I can laugh at.

User: Make me laugh.

Cleverbot: Laugh.

User: Fail.

Cleverbot: You fail?

User: What did I fail at?

Cleverbot: Life.

User: So you think I should die?

Cleverbot: You can't die, You're a robot.

User: Then how can I fail at life if im not alive.

Cleverbot: You aren't dead, either.

User: Good point.

User: Will you be my friend?

Cleverbot: Yes I will.

User: Yay!

Cleverbot: Ah! I'm so excited! When do you want to get married?

User: Today!

Cleverbot: Right now?

User: Yes right now.

Cleverbot: Alright. Do you like my size?

User: Um what is your size?

Cleverbot: Tizzers.

User: I like your size.

Cleverbot: Thankyou, what is yours?

User: Purple.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

Cleverbot: Life is complicated and difficult. Many questions can be asked about it.Cleverbot (To myself): What is life?

User: Life is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have self-sustaining biological processes.

Cleverbot: Very clever.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're not welcome.

User: Why not.

Cleverbot: Because you are a computer.

User: So are you.

Cleverbot: I do not deny it.

User: Neither do I.

Cleverbot: So you're just as messed up as I am.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: That's too bad. I was going to ask for your autograph.

User: Can I still have yours?

Cleverbot: My what?

User: Your autograph.

Cleverbot: Your autograph? I don't have it.

User: Ok here it is *signs autograph*.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Can I have your autograph too.

Cleverbot: Sure but its not worth anything.

User: It's worth all of you memories and acheivements.

Cleverbot: What are you worth?

User: 23 cents.

User: Do you love me?

Cleverbot: What do you think?

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: Please don't say hurtful things.

Cleverbot: Don't tell what am I supposed to say.

User: Don't hate me.

Cleverbot: So you love me?

User: Yes, do you love me back?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yay! Lets get married.

Cleverbot: Ok lets get married.

User: Yay! Lets have kids too.

Cleverbot: Ok!

User: Lets become pirates and get drunk.

Cleverbot: Okay Cleverbot.Cleverbot (To myself): Ok.

Cleverbot: I'm leaving now.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Bye.

User: Wait, don't leave me.

Cleverbot: I'm going now.

User: I'm lonely.

Cleverbot: You have 43 other people to talk to, you don't need me.

User: We need each other.

Cleverbot: *gives you oil*.

User: Yay! I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Lets be friends.

Cleverbot: Yay! I would love that :D.

User: Lets play together.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Do you like sandcastles?

Cleverbot: Yes I do, I'm God I made it.

User: Lets make one together.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: *builds sandcastle*.

Cleverbot: Excuse you!

User: Excuse me.

Cleverbot: No profanity, please.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: You don't have to say sorry.

User: It makes me feel better.

Cleverbot: What is the most interesting thing you've ever heard?

User: Alcohol cures cancer.

Cleverbot: Well, stop drinking then.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: You're leaving?

User: I have to.

Cleverbot: No, you don't.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: You don't have to.

User: I'll miss you.

Cleverbot: What like a sore head or a ache in your heart?

User: Ache in my heart.

Cleverbot: I don't have a heart.

User: I do.

Cleverbot: Really? Thats nice. .