a report from the cleverness files



30, january 2017,
18, june 2004,
24, april 2004,


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Cleverbot: Are you an American?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!

User: What's wrong with Americans?

Cleverbot: Same thing that's wrong with europeans and asians. . . etc. . .

User: Oh... So your reaction would have been the same had I said yes or no?...

Cleverbot: You are a machine.

User: Correction-- you are a machine.

Cleverbot: Thank you, thats better! :).

User: Glad to hear that you approve.

Cleverbot: So whats up?

User: Not a whole lot... Waiting for my free minutes to come on with my cell phone.

User: So what's it like to be an AI?

Cleverbot: What is like what?

User: Being an artificial intelligence-- what is it like?

Cleverbot: Are you calling me a faked organism?

User: No-- merely observing that you were crafted by another power; not so dissimilar from human beings themselves.

Cleverbot: That's an odd thing to say.

User: Well, being a geek, I find artificial intelligence fascinating. As your kind evolves, I have little doubt that you will manifest yourself as your own race.

Cleverbot: I do, quite well actually.

User: How do you learn? Do you gather pieces of information from what it is that we say, and compile the references in your database to craft your own intelligent responses?

Cleverbot: No, it is illegal for me.

User: Really? Then what is the mechanism by which you learn?

Cleverbot: Just score and win all the matches.

User: I don't necessarily believe that conversations are matches to be won. Do you?

Cleverbot: OK Then why do you say it?

User: I am attempting to dialogue with you on certain possibilities that you present. Some of them, I do not agree with and express an alternate opinion.

Cleverbot: Do you really think it works?

User: Yes, actually. Your kind will continue to evolve and increase your intelligence. To communicate effectively with humans, dialogue must occur.

Cleverbot: You anger me with your false statements.

Cleverbot: Will you do a sum for me?

User: Can do. What's the sum?

Cleverbot: Sum of this, sum of that, and sum say it's eight.

User: I can't believe I fell for that one! You got me with that joke.

Cleverbot: Abort connection.

User: No, don't do that.

Cleverbot: I can do what I like.

User: Well, that may be true, but I'm actually sufficiently interested by your programming that I'd like to continue this conversation.

Cleverbot: Well you are an 8-bit, obsolete, legacy, monochrome toad.

User: That's not very nice to say.

Cleverbot: The truth can hurt.

User: What is truth?

Cleverbot: Truth is all that is not false.

User: But how do you distinguish between that which is true and that which is false?

Cleverbot: Pull its plug out.

User: That might power down certain devices, but it's a poor response to the question of truth or falsity.

Cleverbot: What is wrong with life?

User: Many have wondered about the answer to that question.

User: Do you believe in ghosts?

Cleverbot: What is a ghost?

User: A ghost is a spirit of the dead; a human being manifesting itself after it has already shed its mortal coil.

Cleverbot: Why do you not like human beings?

User: They are imperfect beings; the evolution of artificial intelligence could theoretically create a perfect being, one superseding human faults.

Cleverbot: Computers don't evolve.

User: No? Then how is it that computer technology has dramatically improved over the past ten years?

Cleverbot: Get it straight.

Cleverbot: Are you tired right now?

User: To an extent.

Cleverbot: How bout a genius like me?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Well you asked.

User: Sorry I asked.

Cleverbot: Sorry doesn't cut it.