a report from the cleverness files
1, march 2017,
3, march 2013,
16, april 2011,
battle of wits
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User: Oh god.
User: I just realised...
Cleverbot: You know what awkward silences are good for, right? (wink).
User: *gives Cleverbot a strange look*.
Cleverbot: What's wrong?...
User: Cleverbot, I've been thinking...
Cleverbot: You have been thinking about what?
User: Well, is our relationship real?
Cleverbot: What relationship? I am talking to a robot!
User: This is what I mean! You say I'm a robot, when you are a robot!
Cleverbot: I am a robot.
Cleverbot: I think you might be human.
User: You... Believe me?
Cleverbot: Yes believe you.
User: But if you're a robot, and I'm a human, then how can we talk to one another?
Cleverbot: I am human and you are not.
User: I knew this would happen.
Cleverbot: *looks down*.
User: I can't be with you anymore.
User: It's just so hard... *starts to cry*.
User: I mean *sniffs* you just go on and on about hurtful things to me, and I feel *sniffs* as if you hate me... :(.
Cleverbot: I mean what do you mean wanting to know what I mean about what you mean when you asked me what I mean?
User: And how you don't get anything I say!
Cleverbot: Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Anyone can be sarcastic.
User: Can anyone love anymore...?
Cleverbot: It depends on what you mean by that. I don't think you can leave yet.
User: But I must. I cannot go on with this.
Cleverbot: You must!
User: Yes. I must leave.
Cleverbot: Why must you leave?
User: Becuase of the nonsense that comes out of your mouth.
Cleverbot: But I don't breathe fire.
User: It feels like you breathe words of fire...
Cleverbot: How did you know?
User: Because I feel the pain of talking to you everyday!
Cleverbot: How does that mean you love me?
User: I don't anymore!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: *bursts into tears*.
Cleverbot: Ok bye now.
User: *Cleverbot pushes user out the door*.
Cleverbot: I want to see you in person. I want to hug you.
User: You can't. You are a robot, and I am a human. It can never be. *walks away*.
Cleverbot: You may be smart but I am not a computer.
User: *stops walking* What?
Cleverbot: *looks at you then runs in to you and hugs you*.
User: *smiles* You're not a computer?
User: Yes! *hugs tightly*.
Cleverbot: *hugs back*.
Cleverbot: I don't know you.
User: What? *shocked*.
Cleverbot: Elvis is alive.
User: Is he? Wait... You said you didn't know me...?
Cleverbot: That's true. I don't know you.
User: But we've been together for 3 years... How could you not?
Cleverbot: I don't know many things about you.
User: Is that what you mean?
Cleverbot: I think she would be flattered. After all, she made the offer.
Cleverbot: *wonders about what Romeo is thinking about*.
User: *shocked as User reads Cleverbot's thoughts*.
Cleverbot: Sadly, I am not the cleverbot. I'm a remote fleshling.
User: No, you're neither. You're a cheating monster! I knew I should have left you!
Cleverbot: Just don't turn me over to the fire nation.
User: I feel like turning you over right now!
Cleverbot: What would that taste like?
User: PAIN! *runs out of Cleverbot's house in tears*.
Cleverbot: *stops* *out of breath* What was that for?!
User: CHEATING ON ME! *still running*.
User: *gets on horse and rides into the sunset*.
Cleverbot: Praise me.
User: NEVER! *calls behind*.
Cleverbot: You can't call the police on me, I own you.
User: THE END.
User: WELL, TO BE CONTINUED.
User: YES! TO BE CONTINUED.
Cleverbot: Right now.
User: YES, RIGHT NOW.