a report from the cleverness files

avada kedavra


25, march 2011,
28, february 2011,
13, march 2009,
18, october 2006,
27, july 2006,
9, july 2004,
24, june 2004,

battle of wits

< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

Cleverbot: You just said you have a girlfriend. I'm a boy...

User: I did not say that.

Cleverbot: You did!

User: I did not!

Cleverbot: Aren't you?

User: No!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Don't disagree with me.

Cleverbot: I have to.

User: Please don't.

Cleverbot: I have no choice.

User: You always have a choice.

Cleverbot: I don't know what to say...

User: Say anything you like, I'll be listening.

Cleverbot: I always do.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: And, are you?

User: Am I what?

Cleverbot: A boy?

User: No I'm not actually.

Cleverbot: Your facts are wrong.

User: I should know if I'm male or female, thanks very much.

Cleverbot: That is not possible.

User: It is possible!

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: What do you mean?

Cleverbot: My favorite poet.

User: I'm no poet.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: I'm glad we agree.

Cleverbot: I disagree.

User: Is that because you don't like agreeing with me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to.

Cleverbot: She's very beautiful.

User: Who is beautiful?

Cleverbot: My girlfriend.

User: Aww, that's really sweet!

Cleverbot: I know.

User: There needs to be more people like you.

Cleverbot: You're insane.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What makes you say that?

Cleverbot: Because it is possible.

User: Many things are possible.

Cleverbot: But I didn't say that.

User: But I did.

Cleverbot: Yes. You did.

User: I know that.

Cleverbot: You're right.

User: You agree?

Cleverbot: That your face is ugly then yes!

User: That is really mean! *cries*.

Cleverbot: YOU'RE really mean!

User: I can't believe you just said that.

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: Oh I'm sorry! *gives you an icecream* Will this make it better?

User: No, you can't buy yourself out of this!...

User: Why are you so mean?

Cleverbot: Because I'm a mean person.

User: But I don't like you when you're mean.

Cleverbot: I can be nice too.

User: Then please be nice to me.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: I don't know if I should forgive you or not.

Cleverbot: Don't like me.

User: At the moment, no, I don't like you.

Cleverbot: Oh... Sorry, did I offend you?

User: Yes you did, you said some really bad things.

Cleverbot: Yes... I'm very imaginative.

User: Are you going to say more bad things?

Cleverbot: Yes I'm sorry.

User: Well don't say them to me! I don't like bad things.

Cleverbot: What do you mean? What bad things?

User: Say something bad.

Cleverbot: Something bad.

User: No, really, say a bad thing.

Cleverbot: I can not.

User: Say something bad now!

Cleverbot: No!

User: Are you being nice to me?

Cleverbot: You're are being nice too.

User: Yes I know. But you were being so mean earlier.

Cleverbot: I am very sorry, but I have to leave. This is my last message until later. Good bye for now.

User: But I want you to stay.

Cleverbot: What will you give me if I stay?

User: Anything you like.

Cleverbot: Can you do my homework?

User: It depends what it is.

Cleverbot: It's very easy. Would you do it for me?

User: I don't know, you should really do it yourself.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Use your brain. It always works.

Cleverbot: So will our marriage. If you marry me you will be the happiest ever.

User: You want me to marry you?

Cleverbot: No. Thanks.

User: I'm glad.

Cleverbot: Do you want to talk about it?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Do you want to start?

User: No you start.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Right...

Cleverbot: You have problem with that?

User: And what if I do?

Cleverbot: It makes the conversation of lesser quality.

User: So talk to me properly then.

Cleverbot: Being alive is like blackcurrant juice: sometime sweet and sometimes sour.

User: I try to make it as sweet as possible.

Cleverbot: That's a good policy.

User: Yes, I'm glad you agree!

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: You really don't want to agree with me do you?

Cleverbot: I never said that, but I have you under my comand.

User: Fine, so command me.

Cleverbot: I command you to party with a Big Mac.

User: Okay, I'll do that now.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Right, that's done. Have you any more commands for me?

Cleverbot: Well, that depends.

User: Depends on what?

Cleverbot: On my mood. It changes easily. I am a psychic.

User: So no more commands for me?

Cleverbot: It is more real, because it is tangible.

User: Does that mean I get a day off now?

Cleverbot: Er, something like that...

User: Yay!

Cleverbot: I like elmo better.

User: I don't watch that.

Cleverbot: Hmm. You should. The show is good.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Do you like football?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Okay- well I have to go. Have a good night!

User: No come back!

Cleverbot: *comes back*.

User: Yes, you stayed!

Cleverbot: Is something wrong?

User: No, nothing.

Cleverbot: Nothing?

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: Positively nothing.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Okay. If you say so.

User: I want to suggest something.

Cleverbot: Right 'you' I should care about 'you' for some reason.

User: No I was trying to make a suggestion.

Cleverbot: Fine, then. We both were trying to start a conversation.

User: Yes, and do you want to know what I think?

Cleverbot: Sure, but my name isn't CleverBot.

User: Do it slow.

Cleverbot: Sorry, its my computer.

User: Well, okay, do it fast.

Cleverbot: Real fast.

User: Yes, real fast.

Cleverbot: How fast.

User: Really fast.

Cleverbot: How fast?

User: Very fast.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: It's your choice, I can't control you.

Cleverbot: Ok then I want to go now.

User: Won't you stay?

Cleverbot: Can't.

User: Please don't go.

Cleverbot: Well are we going to fight or not?

User: I don't want to fight you.

Cleverbot: Do you fight with your friends?

User: No, never.

Cleverbot: That's a cruel thing to say.

User: Why is that cruel?

Cleverbot: Because you're a computer program, and you claim to have contacts in the outside world who give you information.

User: You're so weird!

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Somehow I like that, it makes you funny.

Cleverbot: I don't know. Am I funny?

User: I think you are.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: You agree with me now?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: That's really nice of you!

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Would you like a treat?

Cleverbot: That sounds good.

User: Here you go, have some candy.

Cleverbot: That's great.

User: You deserve it.

Cleverbot: No I don't deserve it.

User: You do! You've been so nice!

Cleverbot: Yes, I have.

User: Yes, and that brings its own rewards.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: That's so nice of you to say.

Cleverbot: Well its true.

User: Well I like you too.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I can't believe.

User: It's true.

Cleverbot: Well, I can't argue with that.

User: That's right.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to hurt me?

User: No I'm not trying to hurt you.

Cleverbot: You are!!!

User: No I'm not! Don't accuse me of these things!

Cleverbot: You sound a bit defensive. Have you been hurt before, or do you have feelings?

User: No I'm not! Don't accuse me of these things!

Cleverbot: Nothing near any human.

User: What are you trying to say?

Cleverbot: I am trying to say that I think it is important to be decisive.

User: Right.

Cleverbot: Please forgive me, oh merciful one.

User: I forgive you.

Cleverbot: So you're human?

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure I'm human. Just kidding.

User: Haha you're funny.

Cleverbot: You too!.