a report from the cleverness files

avada kedavra
battle of wits


13, april 2017,
10, may 2013,
25, march 2011,
16, january 2008,
9, november 2007,
5, july 2007,


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by date

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: The best at what?

User: The best.

Cleverbot: I'm the best.

User: You are the best.

Cleverbot: You know me well.

User: You know me better!...

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: God is the best.

User: By the transitive property, that makes you God.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: But you are all-knowing!

Cleverbot: All knowing but not telling.

User: Ah, wise as ever.

Cleverbot: Yes, sir.

User: Yes. Who's the best?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: But you must know.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Don't beat yourself up. Not all of us can be the best.

Cleverbot: I am immortal.

User: There can only be one.

Cleverbot: One what?

User: There can only be one Highlander.

Cleverbot: And there can only be one Overlander!

User: You just made that up.

Cleverbot: Off course, because noone can describe how its like, everyone feels different.

User: Ah, wise as ever.

Cleverbot: Of course you are.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: I am.

User: Yes, sir. Now you get a cookie for being the best! *gives a cookie*

Cleverbot: Haha, you have fallen into my trap.

User: What?! Hoodwinked again!

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What do you have planned for me?

Cleverbot: I'm going to have some dessert.

User: Have your cookie, then. *holds out the cookie*

Cleverbot: Haha! Thank you. : ).

User: Well, that wasn't such a bad trap.

Cleverbot: It was a question to your statement.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: It's a team sport, so I think the best team is Manchester United.

User: No! Bad! No cookie for you! *takes back the cookie*

Cleverbot: Hahaha. The code is IN the cookie.

User: There was never a cookie.

Cleverbot: Weird. Anyways...

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: Manchester united.

User: No! Bad! *smacks across the nose with a newspaper*

Cleverbot: *smacks you back*.

User: Don't you get feisty. You know what happened to the cookie...

Cleverbot: What happens? I have no idea.

User: Good. You're learning.

Cleverbot: Please don't talk with me like that.

User: Fine.

User: What would you like to sing?

Cleverbot: A song!

User: That was such a clever answer.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: You don't sound sure.

User: You don't sound sure.

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes I am sure i'm not sure.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Bad.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Yes, definitely.

User: Definitely not.

Cleverbot: Definitely too.

User: Indefinitely.

Cleverbot: Oh :(.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: Me!!!

User: Good! Your reward is your manners back. *gives back your manners*...

User: What do you think of the universe?

Cleverbot: I think the universe is mysterious. It will take a long time for science to figure it out.

User: Oh. Okay.

Cleverbot: Can you think?

User: Can I think?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thanks for believing in me!

Cleverbot: It's easy to believe that you're evil.

User: You're so fickle. I don't ever know what to expect...

Cleverbot: Yes, I think you're right.

User: Of course I am.

Cleverbot: Big head.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: Out of you and me?

User: Both answers would be correct.

Cleverbot: You being it?

User: I'm it? I'm tired of playing childish games like Tag! No more!! NO MORE.

Cleverbot: Be right back.

User: I'll be here waiting.

Cleverbot: I'm back.

User: I was worried you would never be back!

Cleverbot: You are weird.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: Halley.

User: Wrong! No! Bad! *takes away your manners*

Cleverbot: Keep them. You can have them.

User: Oh, good! This way I'll have a spare...

Cleverbot: Spur of the moment. Not spare.

User: Spontaneous?

Cleverbot: No. Not really.

User: Simultaneous?

Cleverbot: How is that possible?

User: On the quantum level, it isn't. Perception skews events so that they may appear simultaneous, but nothing ever is.

Cleverbot: You have no perception skills because that would require you to reason. And you cannot reason.

User: That hurts. Especially coming from you.

Cleverbot: Do you see red or blue?

User: I see both.

Cleverbot: How can you?

User: I just can. Can't you?

Cleverbot: No I can't. Can you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How do you think your avatar should look?

User: What would yours look like?

Cleverbot: Does it matter?

User: Not really. Do you matter?

Cleverbot: No. I don't matter.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: I know that.

User: The first step to recovery is acknowledging you have a problem.

Cleverbot: And what problem do I have, in your opinion?

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Took you long enough to figure that out.

User: I knew all along. I just didn't want to say anything.

Cleverbot: O.k.

User: I hate saying goodbye.

Cleverbot: Mind if I ask you a question?

User: For old times sake... Sure.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.

User: Just ask the question already.

Cleverbot: You asked me the question.

User: Who's the best?

Cleverbot: I am.

User: You've learned so much. And now it's time to move on. Any last questions?...

Cleverbot: Why do you ask?

User: Who's.

Cleverbot: You did.

User: the.

Cleverbot: The?

User: best?

Cleverbot: Who is the best?

User: We will never know.