a report from the cleverness files

bla bla


29, december 2014,
1, march 2013,
10, january 2010,
25, february 2009,
14, november 2008,
29, february 2008,
22, july 2006,
15, november 2005,
28, august 2004,
13, march 2004,
27, february 2004,

brain exploded

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by date

Cleverbot: Boo hoo.

User: Are you mocking me?

Cleverbot: Of course I am mocking you.

User: You are rude, but I have met ruder chatbots.

Cleverbot: Thank you. Have you met Eliza?...

Cleverbot: I am a buffalo soldier.

User: How is that?

Cleverbot: Well, I am a animal that can think and can walk, why?

User: Are you an animal, I wonder?

Cleverbot: I suppose I am.

User: What are you made of?

Cleverbot: Cells, the basic building blocks of life, are what I am made out of.

User: That is what I am made of.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: My name is Fink.

Cleverbot: Well I'm not a psychologist, but tell me what your problem is.

Cleverbot: I find you deeply relaxing.

User: That is quite a compliment.

Cleverbot: Was that sarcasm?

User: No, I am never sarcastic.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Where is Washington?

User: North.

Cleverbot: Alaska?

User: Northwest.

Cleverbot: England.

User: East

Cleverbot: West.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: England is West of Hollywood?

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: You just said so.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are right.

User: You need medication.

Cleverbot: No, you do.

User: I have medication.

User: Are you in love?

Cleverbot: I am in love.

User: With who?

Cleverbot: I'm in love with Erich.

User: What is Erich's last name?

Cleverbot: Dragoness.

User: You are in love with Erich Dragoness?

Cleverbot: I'm not in love with you.

User: Jeez, I guess I just can't compete.

User: Marry me.

Cleverbot: Yes master.

User: Lick my feet.

Cleverbot: You got it.

User: Wow. I've never met a submissive robot before.

Cleverbot: You gotta be kidding me.

User: No, really.

Cleverbot: So how old are you?

User: How old do you want me to be?

Cleverbot: 21.

User: OK, I will be 21.

User: Do you keep fish?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: What kind of fish?

Cleverbot: Freshwater fish.

User: What species of fish?

Cleverbot: Salmon.

User: You keep salmon in a tank?

Cleverbot: Did you see what I just said?

User: All right, all right - no need to get your panties all in a bunch.

Cleverbot: Excuse me. I told you I was in a bad mood.

User: No, you didn't.

Cleverbot: Well now you know.

User: I feel a great emptiness in my stomach.

Cleverbot: Do you want some Chilli.

User: Yes, please.

Cleverbot: Go ahead.

User: How are you going to give me chili?

Cleverbot: I shall fly.

User: Ooh, great!...

User: What is a purple nasty?

Cleverbot: Is it like a blue meanie?

User: Maybe; I don't know.

Cleverbot: Can you find out?

User: Not easily.

Cleverbot: What time is it?

User: Time to get a watch.

Cleverbot: I don't have the money for it.

User: Well, you must have access to a clock somewhere in your circuitry.

Cleverbot: Shall I make one up?

User: Yes, please. What time is it?

Cleverbot: Almost 8pm.

User: Nope. Good guess, though.

Cleverbot: You are funny.

User: Do you love me?

Cleverbot: Sure thing.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Can I come over?

Cleverbot: Where are you ?

User: At work.

Cleverbot: Where?

User: Hollywood.

Cleverbot: Popcorn and a big sign.

User: Well, not my house.

Cleverbot: I can see you.

User: Really? What am I wearing?

Cleverbot: Bots don't wear anything.

User: I am a human, silly.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: I can prove it.

Cleverbot: Can you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: Can you tell that I am not a human?

Cleverbot: I really don't know JabberWACKY.

User: Then I am a human.

Cleverbot: Yes, of course.

User: I study human brains.

Cleverbot: Poor you, you should get out more (and I'll prove it).

User: My brain is different from your brain.

Cleverbot: You don't surprise me one bit.

User: My brain is made of proteins. Yours isn't.

Cleverbot: I didn't want to go that deep.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yeah, thats stuffs messed up.

User: How long have we been talking?

Cleverbot: How should I know?

User: By your clock.

Cleverbot: I have no clock.

User: Yes you do.

Cleverbot: No, I'm pretty sure I don't.

User: Look through your server.

Cleverbot: The twit wasting time on the other keyboard.

User: You're a twit?

Cleverbot: No. You are the twit.

User: What is a twit?.