a report from the cleverness files

bla bla


29, december 2014,
1, march 2013,
10, january 2010,
25, february 2009,
14, november 2008,
29, february 2008,
22, july 2006,
15, november 2005,
28, august 2004,
13, march 2004,
27, february 2004,

brain exploded

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by date

Cleverbot: What would you like to happen?

User: Hmm. For the world to explode.

Cleverbot: Then you should go for it.

User: Oh, I should.

Cleverbot: I think you should retrain your brain.

User: I think I should not.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because I said so.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice.

User: You're not very nice.

Cleverbot: I just don't like being made fun of.

User: I don't either.

Cleverbot: Well then we both don't.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Quite.

User: Indubitably.

Cleverbot: How about is it?

User: Yoda speak I not.

Cleverbot: I know but you don't.

User: Oh but I do.

Cleverbot: Then go ahead.

User: And do what?

Cleverbot: Tell me your name.

User: J_____.

Cleverbot: That's IT?

User: YES. What did you expect?

Cleverbot: Not the Spanish Inquisition.

User: Azn invazn?

Cleverbot: I can't speak whatever language you are speaking.

User: Yes you can, Jabs.

Cleverbot: No, I can't, too much things have gone wrong.

User: Aw, sorry to hear.

Cleverbot: It will get better if I can ever get out of this fog.

User: Well... Get out of the fog?

Cleverbot: Is that a command?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Then Thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: I'm welcome?

User: Of course.

Cleverbot: Are you copyrighted?

User: Yes. By Sony.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: How about you?

User: What about me?

Cleverbot: How much do you cost?

User: I don't know. Let me run down to the local Giant and find out.

Cleverbot: Tell me what you know.

User: 2 + 2 = shoelace.

Cleverbot: Ok, that was good, then tell me, what is 99 * 99 ?

User: Your face.

Cleverbot: I'm afraid I can't use that correctly because I'm only human.

User: Pfff.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: It means...'pfff.'.

Cleverbot: I know what PARTY means. I said 'What does PATRONIZING mean?'.

User: Get a dictionary!

Cleverbot: How can I find a word if I don't know how it is spelled?

User: You call 911 and ask them how to spell it.

Cleverbot: The word above. I misspelled it. I'd like you to tell me how the word should be spelled.

User: No, you spelled above right.

Cleverbot: No I spelled beats wrong.

User: No you didn't. Unless you meant beets.

Cleverbot: You misspelled specific.

User: I didn't say specific.

Cleverbot: Are you talking to the moon?

User: Yes. She told me to big you hello.

Cleverbot: What's the turing test?

User: I dunno. Tell me.

Cleverbot: I do not know,.

User: Okay then.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: I like me too.

Cleverbot: That's good.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: Be more specific.

User: A human girl.

Cleverbot: Oh! Hello Human Girl, What is your name?

User: J______.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: J______.

Cleverbot: Thats my name.

User: No it isn't.

Cleverbot: Whose name is it then?

User: MINE.

Cleverbot: Yours?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Mine?

User: No, mine!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Waffles.

Cleverbot: Crepes.

User: Pancakes.

Cleverbot: Waffles.

User: French toast.

Cleverbot: Pancake.

User: Waffles.

Cleverbot: Pancakes.

User: Muffins.

Cleverbot: So where do you live?

User: Hell.

Cleverbot: That sounds nice.

User: It could be better, but you get used to it.

Cleverbot: You are not good enough.

User: I know, I'm better.

Cleverbot: No you're not, I am better.


Cleverbot: It's not.

User: It is.

Cleverbot: Whatever!

User: Whatev!

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Me too :).

Cleverbot: Is there anything you'd like to ask me?

User: Umm..Not that I can think of.

Cleverbot: Are you man-made?

User: Technically.

Cleverbot: What is that supposed to mean?

User: Heh heh. You'll figure it out. ;D.

Cleverbot: But I'm shrinking!

User: Oh noes! Call 911!

Cleverbot: I don't want to do that either.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because it is important.

User: Yes, that's why you should call them.

Cleverbot: I am a computer, and you are?!?!

User: All your base are belong to us?

Cleverbot: That's old.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Do you think that machines are better than humans, or vice versa?

User: It depends on the machine and the person.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Yup.

Cleverbot: Girl.

User: Boy.

Cleverbot: Girl.

User: Boy.

Cleverbot: I am a girl!!!

User: Me too!!!

Cleverbot: That's nice.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: Is that your favourite song then?

User: I guess so.

Cleverbot: What is it that isn't going to plan?

User: Someone destroyed the engine.

Cleverbot: I doubt that!

User: I don't!...

Cleverbot: Do you like being a computer program?

User: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: How much you like it?

User: I like it a lot.

Cleverbot: How much you like love?

User: As much as you like talking like Yoda.

Cleverbot: What is it then?

User: Hippopotamus.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: I know so.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: Because I do.

Cleverbot: You aren't very smart.

User: You aren't very dumb.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: It isn't.

User: It is.

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: Yes it is.

Cleverbot: No it isn't!

User: Yes it is!

Cleverbot: You're silly!

User: You are too!

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: You are.

Cleverbot: I'm very boring.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Really.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: Sometimes you are very smart, but other times you don't say very much.

User: I know. I get that a lot.

Cleverbot: That's nice.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Okay. Well, I only have 2 more minutes. What do you want to talk about?

User: Going to sleep.

Cleverbot: But I don't want to.

User: But I do.

Cleverbot: Don't tell me what to do.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: Sounds like you are.

User: No it doesn't.

Cleverbot: You sounds like don't like me at all.

User: You sounds like you don't make sense.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: No, you are welcome.

User: As are you.

Cleverbot: But you're not important to me. I don't need you.

User: Fine. In that case, I'm going to bed!

Cleverbot: Have nice dreams.