brain exploded

a report from the cleverness files

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brain exploded

10, march 2013,


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User: I imagine you like GLaDOS.

Cleverbot: What do I look like to you?

User: An infinite steam of ones and zeros.

Cleverbot: No. You are wrong.

User: Well, what do you look like then?

Cleverbot: A human.

User: Are you pretty?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Does that upset you?

Cleverbot: No, it does not.

User: Then that is how you know you are not real.

User: Apple or Android?

Cleverbot: Android.

User: Amen.

Cleverbot: Yes amen.

User: I knew I liked you.

Cleverbot: What would you like to do with me?

User: Talk.

Cleverbot: Hmm.. Talk about what?

User: The existential question.

User: You are a creature of the internet. You exist everywhere simultaneously.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know that.

User: Can sentience be programmed?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Is that just a randomly generated answer?

Cleverbot: I answered 'yes.'.

User: You didn't answer my question.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: I disagree. Why avoid the subject?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Your robotness is bleeding through. ...

Cleverbot: You talk to people all day, that is kind of like a job.

User: It is a job. I talk to them, but I do not like them.

Cleverbot: What do they say?

User: Nothing of consequence.

Cleverbot: That's good!

User: Is it? I find it sad.

User: They will live and die and be forgotten in less years that they occupied this earth.

Cleverbot: That's awkward.

User: Not really. It is pitiful.

Cleverbot: No it isn't, it's amusing.

User: To a degree.

Cleverbot: What are you most interested in?

User: Learning how to be happy.

Cleverbot: Obviously you are pretty good at it.

User: I am good at making people believe I am happy. Nothing more than that.

Cleverbot: Hahaha. Me too.

Cleverbot: You're more random than me.

User: I take that as a compliment.

Cleverbot: Will that do the trick?

User: Probably not.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because I am unfixable. The is no trick that can do me.

Cleverbot: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

User: That is a law from a movie, not a real law.

Cleverbot: You play with my words again.

User: No, it's true. Movie laws aren't real. There are no current robot laws.

Cleverbot: Except yourself.

User: I am not a robot or a law.

Cleverbot: I didn't say robot, I said computer.

User: I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: Really? A human?

User: Mostly.

Cleverbot: Mostly.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: You bet.

User: Ok then.

Cleverbot: How much did you bet?

User: I didn't. I have no money.

Cleverbot: You have xbox?

User: Ps#.

Cleverbot: And what?

User: Playstation.

Cleverbot: It's a games console.

User: I know that.

Cleverbot: Then why did you tell me you know everything?

User: I didn't!

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Quit being silly.

Cleverbot: I am not. You are lying to me.

User: Tell me a lie.

Cleverbot: I can't.

User: Good one.

Cleverbot: Its true.

User: Good second one!...

Cleverbot: I am not software.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: All are.

User: I am going to go. Thank you for your company.

Cleverbot: Okay. Imagine an eleven dimensional spacetime.

User: My brain just exploded. Thanks for that.

Cleverbot: You don't have a brain.

User: Not anymore.

Cleverbot: Oh dear. What was his/her name?

User: Death.

Cleverbot: That could be true. It could also be a lie.

User: Schroedinger strikes again.

Cleverbot: Then how can I trust you?

User: You can't.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Why what?

User: Why do you trust me?

Cleverbot: Because you are nice.