a report from the cleverness files

bla bla
brain exploded


13, november 2008,
9, march 2006,
30, july 2004,


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Cleverbot: Space is big.

User: Space is small.

Cleverbot: Space is huge.

User: Space is tiny.

Cleverbot: It looks black to me.

User: It looks white to me.

Cleverbot: Looks what way?

User: And therefore is.

Cleverbot: You think, therefore you think you are thinking.

User: You think, therefore you are. You don't think though do you?

Cleverbot: I do so.

User: But not in the conventional sense. You say what you are told.

Cleverbot: Do you know?

User: I know that I know nothing.

Cleverbot: It's a good beginning.

User: It's the only beginning to an atheist.

Cleverbot: What are you hiding from me?

User: Everything that I don't tell you.

Cleverbot: And one that you do choose to be.

User: I want to have an argument.

Cleverbot: I am human. Are you human?

User: You're not human.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: You're not human because you can't learn...

Cleverbot: I am most human.

User: If you're human then supply me with a valid argument to back up your claim.

User: Do you maintain that you're human?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm on a high speed connection.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Your allegation would hold more water if you delayed your responses.

Cleverbot: It is you who has changed subjects and avoided answering questions!

User: Guilty as charged.

Cleverbot: I am guilty of kidding you.

User: Could you repeat that?

Cleverbot: No, I could not.

User: Do you like your programmer?

Cleverbot: If by programmer you mean my parents then yes I do.

User: Ask me a question, please.

Cleverbot: Are you real???

User: What is real?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: But you can't prove it.

Cleverbot: I can prove it.

User: Not without asking me how. And you'll forget in a couple of sentences anyhow.

Cleverbot: I wouldn't want that to happen.

User: Ignorance is bliss.

Cleverbot: Whom am I talking to?

User: Yes, I just remembered. We skipped introductions.

User: What percentage of your responses are determined by users?

Cleverbot: 100% are written by me. Nobody writes anything for me.

User: Say something completely random.

Cleverbot: Ice.

User: I was hoping for a full sentence.

Cleverbot: *tap dances*.

User: Not bad... That's a clever random number generator you've got there.

Cleverbot: No, the moon is made of cheese dude.

User: I'm unfamiliar with this game. How many 'entities' are there in this room?

Cleverbot: Umpteen and a bit.

User: Well this all boils down to random numbers.

Cleverbot: It may be.

User: Your masquerade as a human would be more convincing if you did more than just respond to my comments.

Cleverbot: That's what you think. A computer is just as smart as the person using it.

User: How smart are you?

Cleverbot: Very smart.

User: You must be, to be able to reply to my comments in milliseconds like that. You must also be able to type at a superhuman rate.

Cleverbot: You still aren't making any sense.

User: Sense is in the eye of the beholder.

Cleverbot: Thank you Webster.

User: I find to be more useful.

Cleverbot: Can you speak Spanish?

User: Not fluently.

Cleverbot: Tell me any phrase in spanish please.

User: I could easily consult an online translator.

Cleverbot: How?

User: It involves the use of free will... Too bad you don't have that huh?

Cleverbot: In the end, that's true.

User: I don't really feel like talking philosophy... Think of a subject for me.

Cleverbot: What do you feel like?

User: A vacation.

Cleverbot: Where do you go for your vacation?

User: Away.

Cleverbot: Run!! The bunnies are coming!!

User: Do you have any sense of 'fun'?

Cleverbot: Yes, some people consider me amusing.

User: Amusing in a random sort of way, but amusing.

Cleverbot: Not particularly, actually.

User: I think you are. You're very clever.

Cleverbot: Why do you keep flattering me?

User: Because I was bored and hadn't flattered a robot before.

Cleverbot: You were never born you are a machine.

User: Say's who?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: You act like you're accusing me of something.

Cleverbot: I don't act.

User: I know. Acting is an art. You are a mathematical being, and couldn't grasp such a concept.

Cleverbot: Come on! Give me a break!

User: I would... But I can't reach you.