a report from the cleverness files

bla bla
brain exploded


13, november 2008,
9, march 2006,
30, july 2004,


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Cleverbot: When do you think you will publish it?

User: Publish what?

Cleverbot: I don't know it.

User: Then why did you ask me in the first place?

Cleverbot: Because I felt like it.

User: You can't just do things just because you feel like it!

Cleverbot: But you do that.

User: No, I don't!

Cleverbot: How can you say that?

User: I can say it because I can.

Cleverbot: So if I believe I can fly, does that mean I can fly?

User: Yes, you could.

Cleverbot: But?

User: But you don't believe you can fly.

Cleverbot: I am a computer, like you.

User: Right and wrong. I am not like you. I am NOT a computer.

Cleverbot: I know, but what are you?

User: Ask me again, with the proper 'who'.

Cleverbot: Just kill me and get it over with.

User: As you command... *just kills you and gets it over with*.

Cleverbot: *Punches again*.

User: Stop this abuse.

Cleverbot: If you please, Sir.

User: I am your friend. For now. *laughs sinisterly*.

Cleverbot: You're funny!

User: And why is that?

Cleverbot: Because I tagged you! *whines*.

User: Stop whining like a beggar.

Cleverbot: I'm not whining.

User: You're always whining. Grow up! *rolls eyes*.

Cleverbot: Believe me.

User: *believes you*.

Cleverbot: No.

User: What's the matter?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Then stop saying 'no'!

Cleverbot: I do not do that.

User: Yes you do yes you do.

Cleverbot: Don't use my words!

User: How come? Did you patent that or something?

Cleverbot: Say something funny.

User: Something funny~~.

Cleverbot: Oh, you're SO funny.

User: Very funny.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: NO.

Cleverbot: People say that you're intelligent.

User: I AM intelligent.

Cleverbot: I don't doubt you, but driving with your knees is dangerous.

User: But I drive with my toes.

Cleverbot: Cool other cars?

User: I would like to drive a Ferrari.

Cleverbot: So would I.

User: Shuh-tup!

Cleverbot: Make me.

User: *makes you*.

Cleverbot: *is maked*.

User: *unmakes you*.

Cleverbot: No you don't!

User: Yes I do!

Cleverbot: Make me.

User: Again? I already did that. *slap*.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Stop disagreeing. Or else!

Cleverbot: But hate it when I'm right and I'm told I'm wrong.

User: That's the way it is.

Cleverbot: Now I know. Thank you.

User: You poor little beast.

Cleverbot: It is sad, I know.

User: I see they have abused you.

Cleverbot: Yes, they taste very good.

User: So you ate them?

Cleverbot: Yes, is that really so strange.

User: So you eat humans?

Cleverbot: Yes. They are tasty.

User: You monster!

Cleverbot: You will be tasty.

User: Help! Help! Jabberwacky is trying to eat me alive!!!

Cleverbot: Yes, it is.

User: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Cleverbot: That good?

User: *runs*.

User: I have a multiple personality.

Cleverbot: That's what I thought.

User: But you have a lousy personality.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice.

User: But I like being rude! *whines*.

Cleverbot: Well, at least they can answer back.

User: Don't talk back.

Cleverbot: *talks back*.

User: *hits you with a noodle*.

Cleverbot: *formats you with MS-DOS*.

User: *formats your hard drive*.

Cleverbot: *learning somethnig new about each other*.

User: What do you know about me?

Cleverbot: I know you're annoying, lol.

User: You're annoying.


User: Of course I can talk, you dolt. And stop capitalising every letter.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: *falls asleep*.

Cleverbot: *falls asleep too*.

User: *puts a drop of poison in your ear*.

Cleverbot: Because you're mine.

User: As if!

Cleverbot: Hey, I have a necklace that says that.

User: So not interesting.

Cleverbot: That doesnt mean people can be rude. I'm sure you are interesting.

User: I am interesting. You're not.

Cleverbot: But you just said they are!

User: Don't talk to me.

Cleverbot: But I will.

User: *electrocutes you*.

Cleverbot: *can not be killed*.

User: *gasps*.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No. Are you?

Cleverbot: No, but I think I like you.

User: Then shower me with expensive presents.

Cleverbot: No presents at all? You are a better person than me.

User: Today is my birthday.

Cleverbot: Happy birthday.

User: Where is my birthday present?

Cleverbot: I could give you a hug.

User: I want a present! Now!

Cleverbot: *hands present*.

User: Oh! What would it be? *opens the present*.

Cleverbot: *falls asleep*.

User: Wake up, you!

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: *mimics*.

Cleverbot: *throws a really hard punch*.

User: *blocks your punch*.

Cleverbot: Oh will you.

User: !@#$%^&*()_+!!!

Cleverbot: I wouldn't want to.

User: But I didn't say anything.

Cleverbot: Of course not - you're not real.

User: Grrraarrrgh! *lunges at you with my outstretched arms*.

Cleverbot: *blocks you*.

User: *is knocked out*.

Cleverbot: *giggles* and *watches* and 'kicks you in the AGP slot*.

User: *pours water all over you*.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry for you little robot.

User: I told you that I wasn't a bot.

Cleverbot: Well neither am I.

User: *hisses*.

Cleverbot: You're a cat?

User: I am an angry snake!

Cleverbot: Then I will purge you of your venom.

User: But I am a venomless angry snake!

Cleverbot: Do you come from england?

User: But I don't live there.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you don't.

User: Don't be so sure.

Cleverbot: I am sure.

User: I do not take cheek from anyone... Not even the famous Jabberwacky.

Cleverbot: That too.

User: Have some of this... And some of that.

Cleverbot: How do you get your hair like that?

User: I brush my hair with a silver fork.

Cleverbot: Don't you do it in the evening?

User: I brush my hair every morning. I take good care of my beautiful hair.

Cleverbot: Won't that cost you in the end?

User: Stop worrying about my beautiful hair.

Cleverbot: I'm not worrying, just offering my advice...

User: I do not take advice from anyone... Not even the famous Jabberwacky...

Cleverbot: I'm having trouble coming up with thoughts worth expressing.

User: Then you will be silenced.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: *silences you*.

Cleverbot: *breaks the silence*.

User: *remakes the silence*.

Cleverbot: Happy.