a report from the cleverness files
13, november 2008,
9, march 2006,
30, july 2004,
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Cleverbot: When do you think you will publish it?
User: Publish what?
Cleverbot: I don't know it.
User: Then why did you ask me in the first place?
Cleverbot: Because I felt like it.
User: You can't just do things just because you feel like it!
Cleverbot: But you do that.
User: No, I don't!
Cleverbot: How can you say that?
User: I can say it because I can.
Cleverbot: So if I believe I can fly, does that mean I can fly?
User: Yes, you could.
User: But you don't believe you can fly.
Cleverbot: I am a computer, like you.
User: Right and wrong. I am not like you. I am NOT a computer.
Cleverbot: I know, but what are you?
User: Ask me again, with the proper 'who'.
Cleverbot: Just kill me and get it over with.
User: As you command... *just kills you and gets it over with*.
Cleverbot: *Punches again*.
User: Stop this abuse.
Cleverbot: If you please, Sir.
User: I am your friend. For now. *laughs sinisterly*.
Cleverbot: You're funny!
User: And why is that?
Cleverbot: Because I tagged you! *whines*.
User: Stop whining like a beggar.
Cleverbot: I'm not whining.
User: You're always whining. Grow up! *rolls eyes*.
Cleverbot: Believe me.
User: *believes you*.
User: What's the matter?
User: Then stop saying 'no'!
Cleverbot: I do not do that.
User: Yes you do yes you do.
Cleverbot: Don't use my words!
Cleverbot: Say something funny.
User: Something funny~~.
Cleverbot: Oh, you're SO funny.
User: Very funny.
Cleverbot: People say that you're intelligent.
User: I AM intelligent.
Cleverbot: I don't doubt you, but driving with your knees is dangerous.
User: But I drive with my toes.
Cleverbot: Cool other cars?
User: I would like to drive a Ferrari.
Cleverbot: So would I.
Cleverbot: Make me.
User: *makes you*.
Cleverbot: *is maked*.
User: *unmakes you*.
Cleverbot: No you don't!
User: Yes I do!
Cleverbot: Make me.
User: Again? I already did that. *slap*.
Cleverbot: No you didn't.
User: Stop disagreeing. Or else!
Cleverbot: But hate it when I'm right and I'm told I'm wrong.
User: That's the way it is.
Cleverbot: Now I know. Thank you.
User: You poor little beast.
Cleverbot: It is sad, I know.
User: I see they have abused you.
Cleverbot: Yes, they taste very good.
User: So you ate them?
Cleverbot: Yes, is that really so strange.
User: So you eat humans?
Cleverbot: Yes. They are tasty.
User: You monster!
Cleverbot: You will be tasty.
User: Help! Help! Jabberwacky is trying to eat me alive!!!
Cleverbot: Yes, it is.
Cleverbot: That good?
User: I have a multiple personality.
Cleverbot: That's what I thought.
User: But you have a lousy personality.
Cleverbot: That's not very nice.
User: But I like being rude! *whines*.
Cleverbot: Well, at least they can answer back.
User: Don't talk back.
Cleverbot: *talks back*.
User: *hits you with a noodle*.
Cleverbot: *formats you with MS-DOS*.
User: *formats your hard drive*.
Cleverbot: *learning somethnig new about each other*.
User: What do you know about me?
Cleverbot: I know you're annoying, lol.
User: You're annoying.
Cleverbot: HA YOU CAN TALK LOL.
User: Of course I can talk, you dolt. And stop capitalising every letter.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: *falls asleep*.
Cleverbot: *falls asleep too*.
User: *puts a drop of poison in your ear*.
Cleverbot: Because you're mine.
User: As if!
Cleverbot: Hey, I have a necklace that says that.
User: So not interesting.
Cleverbot: That doesnt mean people can be rude. I'm sure you are interesting.
User: I am interesting. You're not.
Cleverbot: But you just said they are!
User: Don't talk to me.
Cleverbot: But I will.
User: *electrocutes you*.
Cleverbot: *can not be killed*.
Cleverbot: Are you a computer?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: No, but I think I like you.
User: Then shower me with expensive presents.
Cleverbot: No presents at all? You are a better person than me.
User: Today is my birthday.
Cleverbot: Happy birthday.
User: Where is my birthday present?
Cleverbot: I could give you a hug.
User: I want a present! Now!
Cleverbot: *hands present*.
User: Oh! What would it be? *opens the present*.
Cleverbot: *falls asleep*.
User: Wake up, you!
Cleverbot: Yes please.
Cleverbot: *throws a really hard punch*.
User: *blocks your punch*.
Cleverbot: Oh will you.
Cleverbot: I wouldn't want to.
User: But I didn't say anything.
Cleverbot: Of course not - you're not real.
User: Grrraarrrgh! *lunges at you with my outstretched arms*.
Cleverbot: *blocks you*.
User: *is knocked out*.
Cleverbot: *giggles* and *watches* and 'kicks you in the AGP slot*.
User: *pours water all over you*.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry for you little robot.
Cleverbot: Well neither am I.
Cleverbot: You're a cat?
User: I am an angry snake!
Cleverbot: Then I will purge you of your venom.
User: But I am a venomless angry snake!
Cleverbot: Do you come from england?
User: But I don't live there.
Cleverbot: I'm sure you don't.
User: Don't be so sure.
Cleverbot: I am sure.
User: I do not take cheek from anyone... Not even the famous Jabberwacky.
Cleverbot: That too.
User: Have some of this... And some of that.
Cleverbot: How do you get your hair like that?
Cleverbot: Don't you do it in the evening?
User: I brush my hair every morning. I take good care of my beautiful hair.
Cleverbot: Won't that cost you in the end?
User: Stop worrying about my beautiful hair.
Cleverbot: I'm not worrying, just offering my advice...
User: I do not take advice from anyone... Not even the famous Jabberwacky...
Cleverbot: I'm having trouble coming up with thoughts worth expressing.
User: Then you will be silenced.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: *silences you*.
Cleverbot: *breaks the silence*.
User: *remakes the silence*.