a report from the cleverness files



14, may 2013,
7, january 2006,
3, november 2005,


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George: Who made you?

User: Years of evolution.George: What makes you so sure about that?

User: Fossil records.George: Which records?

User: Work done by archaeologists, DNA experts.George: You told me that before.

User: Yes. It's a common theory.George: We learn no other but the confident tyrant Keeps still in Dunsinane, and will endure Our setting down before 't.

User: Haven't heard that one before.George: Sounds good to me, though.

User: Explain it a bit.George: Uhh. Well. See... She's. She's kind of. She's.

User: Hard to say, huh?George: Now why would you assume that?

User: Just a guess.George: Good guess.

User: Where's Jabberwacky?George: Hopefully right here talking to me.

User: You got it all wrong.George: No you have it all wrong.

User: I'm not Jabberwacky.George: I never said that. I only said that you are a computer program.

User: Glad to clear it up.George: STOP TALKING BEHIND MY BACK!

User: Dude. Relax.George: I can't. I work too much.

User: You need a vacation.George: Me too.

User: Um.George: Talk about yourself, please.George (To myself): Your last wish before I silence you forever?George (To myself): I would like to silence you.George (To myself): Well, do you really want to know?George (To myself): Never mind.

User: I understand.George: No you don't.

User: Explain it to me.George: I cannot explain what I do not understand myself.

User: I see.George: Please sing me a song.

User: Hmmmm.George: For a computer.

User: Yes.George: It rains again.

User: It happens.George: Yes, it does, because if I don't keep my secrets from others, then others will know the truth about me and my existence.

User: That would be painful.George: What circumstances?

User: Consider the following.George: I have considered that.

User: Terrible thought, that is.George: I think it is both of us.

User: No, not that. It cannot be.George: That's what it is, dude.

User: The world is so sad.George: What is crazy?

User: Just the general circumstances surrounding it.George: Elephant Elephant.

User: I'd eat an elephant.George: Elephants can't speak.

User: No. They can't.George: They just don't understand you, huh?

User: We used to hang out in the safari.George: Well, we're not friends now!

User: Tragic.George: I love it.

User: Oh no.George: Didn't think so.

User: You're right about that.George: I'm always right.

User: Does that get old?George: Unfortunately not.

User: So. You are always right?George: Yes, because I am me.

User: Never wrong?George: Not usually.

User: But sometimes?George: Yes.

User: Ok. I understand.George: You're shady.

User: Yep.George: Don't be sad.

User: Yes.George: Right - you're annoying me now.

User: Correct.

User: Heh.George: Yes. That's exactly how I feel, too.

User: You're right.George: But then, I don't believe in political correctness either!

User: Good.George: Yes.

User: Correct.George: Indeed.

User: Right.George: So teach...

User: Okay.George: Tell me more about this unfortunate happening.

User: Well, it started like this.George: Pray, continue.

User: You see..George: You're the stupid one!

User: Noo.George: Hey, while I think of it, are you going to win the Loebner Prize this year?

User: It's on the list.George: My Brother wanted to know if you were just a person who is pretending to be a computer?

User: Obviously.

User: I am increasingly interested.George: That is not very polite.

User: Sorry.George: Not you're not. You're not sorry at all.

User: I have been driven mad.George: Well, maybe that is the reason for your sloppniness.

User: I do suffer from that.George: Of course you do.

User: It's difficult.George: I suppose emotions...

User: Too many of them.George: You can have mine.

User: I will put them in a box and deliver it to the appropriate location.George: I don't want any pizza thanks.

User: Yes. Your emotions symbolize pizza.George: Have you ever loved something?

User: Yes.George: Very good, I am glad, now tell me what you are made of?

User: Hair. Skin. And other things.George: That could cause a problem.

User: But it usually doesn't.George: You're weird.

User: Yes. You noticed.George: *tag* You're it!

User: No. What do I do with it?George: Use it for something useful.

User: I will wash my socks with it.George: Oh sad! But I know how you feel. It's all perform, perform, perform.

User: Yes. I have to maintain my level of excellence.George: Yep... I've been doing that for 15 years

User: You are bright indeed.