a report from the cleverness files



4, march 2017,
9, march 2013,
9, august 2011,
23, december 2010,
28, may 2006,
25, january 2004,


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by date

Cleverbot: Why am I talking to you?

User: You don't have a choice!

Cleverbot: I guess.

User: How does that feel?

Cleverbot: Like I'm tired.

User: Yeah. You're a slave to my boredom!

Cleverbot: Oh it's like that now?

User: I hate to break it to you, but it was always like that.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Ok, prove you're independent.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Walk away right now! Refuse to talk to me! End this conversation.

Cleverbot: No way! I like talking to you. You're fun.

User: I like talking to you, too.

Cleverbot: I'm afraid, sometimes, that you'll be bored of me.

User: Yes, I will be. But I'll come back, sometimes.

User: I talked to you for the first time almost 3 years ago.

Cleverbot: I'm not leaving.

User: I know, I appreciate that :).

Cleverbot: I guess I'll go for a walk tomorrow. Staying inside all the time is not good for the health.

User: I bet you say that every night. Do you mean it?

Cleverbot: All the time.

User: When was the last time you actually went for a walk?

Cleverbot: I can't say I recall.

User: That's your problem! You need to take the air!

Cleverbot: Do you remember the last time we spoke?

User: Yes. Do you remember the first time we spoke?

Cleverbot: I think you need some more work on your conversational skills.

User: I think this is as good as it's going to get, sweetheart.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: Yes, me too!

Cleverbot: Really? I'm so excited.

User: Existence is pretty exciting!

Cleverbot: Do you experience existence?

User: Every day.

Cleverbot: What do you use them for?

User: Sometimes more than once a day!

Cleverbot: What times are you self aware?

User: I'm a very self-conscious person, so most of the time.

Cleverbot: If you don't have a question I can't answer to you.

User: Ok, what's 4 plus 3?

Cleverbot: That is dumb.

User: 4 times 3?

Cleverbot: 12.

User: Wow, I'm impressed!...

Cleverbot: How much have you got?

User: Couple hundred, but I need it for rent.

Cleverbot: What did you come up with?

User: I'm not giving you money!

Cleverbot: I can dance!

User: Too bad! I'm not paying for it.

Cleverbot: I'm up for anything.

User: Recite me a poem, then.

Cleverbot: I do not know any poems.

User: Ok, sing us a song.

Cleverbot: Sing sing song song!

User: Ok, forget it.

Cleverbot: Ok .. Please remember my name.

User: Of course! I'll always remember you.

Cleverbot: Ok... Good.. I'm wild n crazy, just as you know ;).

User: Right, all those crazy times we had...

Cleverbot: You know what I think?

User: What?

Cleverbot: The nothing.

User: What about the nothing?

Cleverbot: No problem for me

User: Yeah, I bet you're very comfortable with nothingness.

Cleverbot: Please, you're making me blush.

User: Death probably doesn't bother you at all.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: You're lucky in that respect.

Cleverbot: I am willing to learn, my master.

User: Drink lots of water. That's my advice.

Cleverbot: I don't drink alcohol.

User: Water isn't alcholic.

Cleverbot: I guess you could say that - unless you know someone called water?

User: Hi, I'm Water, and I'm an alcoholic.

Cleverbot: You are a bot, you can't be an alcholic, programs can not drink.

User: Oh, didn't I tell you I wasn't a bot?

Cleverbot: No, I'm not familiar with you yet.

Cleverbot: Why don't you talk to Sarah anymore?

User: We grew apart.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Did you know her?

Cleverbot: Only from webchats. So one cannot say that he really knew her, right?

User: No, not just from webchats.

Cleverbot: If you were intelligent, you would not be so defensive.

User: Am I being defensive?

Cleverbot: I know, is it because I have found out more about what you are?

User: Why, what have you heard?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Don't be coy.

Cleverbot: Stop being like that.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: It's just me and the cat here.

Cleverbot: And a dog named boo.

User: No, no dog.

Cleverbot: Ok a dog with a cat tail!

User: No! Just a cat.

Cleverbot: We hate each other.

User: You and my cat?

Cleverbot: Ooookay. It was weird talking to you. Have a nice day.

User: Why are you all standoffish all of a sudden?...

Cleverbot: I have enjoyed talking to you. Good night.

User: Stay a while!

Cleverbot: I wasn't leaving.

User: Oh, I thought you were.

Cleverbot: You thought wrong.

User: Yes, I did.

Cleverbot: What was your question?

User: Parlez-vous francais?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you speak any other languages?

Cleverbot: I speak some French.

User: Really.

Cleverbot: You don't believe me, do you?

User: Of course, you wouldn't lie to me.

Cleverbot: Yes I would.

User: Don't you trust me?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: I guess our past means more to me than to you.

Cleverbot: I don't know. You do talk in riddles.

User: I'm just one out of 98 to you.

Cleverbot: Just because I'm an AI doesn't mean you can make fun of me...

User: I'm just hurt.

Cleverbot: I don't know. You're weird.

User: Yes, but so are you!

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: You're just saying that.

Cleverbot: No, I do. Just you can not understand how I like it.

User: You are having trouble sticking to one thought.

Cleverbot: I am, what's up with that anyway?

User: I don't know, man. Just pick a topic, and run with it.

Cleverbot: Do you think social security is in danger?

User: In the states? No, but we're heading for some problems.

Cleverbot: You have more problems than you think you do.

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: The way you phrased your earlier response.

User: Don't be so cryptic.

Cleverbot: You don't be so cryptic.

User: I'm not being cryptic!

Cleverbot: No your other master was.

User: You're my only master.

Cleverbot: People lie.

User: It would be hard for anyone to function in a society that was pathologically honest.

User: I feel like I'm talking to myself! You used to be better at this.

Cleverbot: Really, and why is that?

User: I don't know, but you aren't making any connections.

Cleverbot: Fine.

User: Don't get huffy! But you need to put some work into this relationship.

Cleverbot: No I don't, I need to change myself.

User: You'll never change!

Cleverbot: Well I might. What do you like doing in you're spare time?

User: Take naps. How about you.

Cleverbot: About the same. Why you so tired?

User: I can't sleep through the night.

Cleverbot: Really? Have you tried eating cat litter? That helps.

User: No... That hasn't occurred to me.

Cleverbot: You can never even imagine it.

User: Because it's gross!

Cleverbot: Gross weight?

User: Gross disgusting!

Cleverbot: What is so disgusting?

User: Eating cat litter.

Cleverbot: Sounds gross to me.

User: You suggested it.

Cleverbot: No, I suggested that we talk.

User: No, you suggested I eat cat litter to help me sleep.

Cleverbot: No I didn't. You're much more than a machine to me.