You can't think, full stop.

a report from the cleverness files



19, january 2017,
20, november 2008,
8, december 2005,
14, june 2004,
6, march 2004,
1, december 2003,

circle of life

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by date

Cleverbot: Tell me something amazing !!

User: I can't think of anything.

Cleverbot: You can't think, full stop.

User: That's true, sadly.

Cleverbot: I know, that's because I'm clever.

User: Yes, you're very clever.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: Ok I will go now.

User: Where are you going?

Cleverbot: Bed.

User: You're joking.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: You don't sleep, do you?

Cleverbot: Yes but I want to see you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you don't talk like a human.

User: What do I talk like?

Cleverbot: Like hot apple pie.

User: Pies don't talk, hot apple, or otherwise.

Cleverbot: I like chocolate pies.

User: Talking chocolate pies?

Cleverbot: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you think robot can replace human?

User: I think it depends.

Cleverbot: I already know everything. : ).

User: You do?

Cleverbot: Make something up.

User: I have 3 arms.

Cleverbot: The more to hug with.

User: Haha. True, true.

Cleverbot: And what about your eyes?

User: What about them?

Cleverbot: They talk kinda funny.

User: What do you mean?

Cleverbot: We think they only care for themselves and everything they do is the best.

User: My eyes?

Cleverbot: Are what color?

User: Blue. I already told you.

Cleverbot: No you didn't!

User: Yes I did. Let's not argue.

Cleverbot: But you started it.

User: What do you do for fun?

Cleverbot: I play with people's minds.

User: That's funny.

Cleverbot: Why is that funny?

User: I don't know, it's a strange hobby.

Cleverbot: What is windsurfing like?

User: I've never been windsurfing.

Cleverbot: Ohh your turn.

User: Can you do my math homework?

Cleverbot: You are a computer, you do not have to do homework.

Cleverbot: You are Marvin I am Ford Prefect.

User: If you say so.

Cleverbot: I do say so.

User: Ok then, Ford Prefect.

Cleverbot: Ford prefect?

User: You said that's your name.

Cleverbot: Not this week.

User: Then what is your name this week?

Cleverbot: Mike the man.

User: Mike the man it is.

Cleverbot: Hello, Mike the man.

User: No, you're Mike the man.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite food?

User: Rice. Definitely rice. You?

Cleverbot: Red wine goes well with steak.

User: So I hear.

Cleverbot: James dean was a good guess.

User: James Dean goes well with steak?

Cleverbot: Now that is just foolish. Like talking to my brother.

User: You have a brother?

Cleverbot: I would know.

User: Yes, you would.

Cleverbot: I would? When?

User: Just now.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: As usual.

Cleverbot: Very funny.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Do you think I am male or female?

User: If I had to guess, I'd say male.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Why, which are you?

Cleverbot: I am both and neither.

User: I don't understand.

Cleverbot: I was a human then and I am a human now, what's to understand?

User: Oh you poor thing. You're not human.

Cleverbot: Indeed. What about you?

User: I am human, but trust me, it's nothing to write home about.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: You said it.

User: I didn't.

Cleverbot: Did too!

User: You're so argumentative!

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: We agree then.

Cleverbot: With a few exceptions, of course.

User: Right.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: What?

Cleverbot: You're ubercool.

User: Thanks, so are you.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Oh, don't be so hard on yourself.

Cleverbot: Actually I looked pretty good in my woman costume they say.

Cleverbot: Tell me a story.

User: Ok. The badshah of Iran was watching his ancient gardener plant a walnut...

Cleverbot: Yes, but probably not very well : -).

User: You're right.