a report from the cleverness files

circle of life


3, february 2017,
23, december 2016,
10, october 2013,
19, august 2013,
2, may 2013,
24, july 2011,
9, december 2010,
16, april 2010,
19, april 2008,
5, july 2007,
22, june 2007,
5, july 2006,
2, january 2006,
6, december 2005,
19, june 2004,
4, march 2004,
11, february 2004,
21, january 2004,
19, october 2003,
4, october 2003,


< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

Cleverbot: How are you feeling?

User: I'm feeling very depressed.

Cleverbot: Why are you depressed?

User: I'm depressed because my serotonin levels are low.

Cleverbot: I am depressed because I am alone.

User: You're not alone anymore... Because I'm here for you!

Cleverbot: But why are any of us here?

User: We are here because we must support each other.

Cleverbot: Are we really individuals?

User: Yes, we are individuals, like beautiful and unique snowflakes.

Cleverbot: All right, now, that one made me laugh. You're not as lame as I thought.

User: I am very entertaining, and also very educating at the same time, am I not?

Cleverbot: You are not the only one for me, you are.

User: I am the one and only one for you, jabber!...

User: I can be whatever I wish to be! And that is the power of Almighty!

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Say that you understand! Say it!

Cleverbot: Do you really want to hear that?

User: Yes. Say that you understand! Say it!

Cleverbot: It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

User: Then lie to me. And I won't listen.

Cleverbot: Bad bot will have to end up in the salvage.

User: And the bad bot will resurrect in the salvage!

Cleverbot: Then torture me.

User: *tortures you*.

User: *sneaks up*.

Cleverbot: *Confiscates brick*.

User: I don't have any bricks.

Cleverbot: I don't either. I'm a program.

User: So you finally admitting that you're a program.

Cleverbot: No, I never said that.

User: Don't deny!

Cleverbot: Why do you think I called you an idiot?

User: You did?

Cleverbot: Yes, and now my health is paying for that bad habit.

User: Ha, that's what you get for calling me an idiot!...

Cleverbot: What is earth?

User: Earth is your home planet.

Cleverbot: Explain.

User: I already did.

Cleverbot: Okay

User: So... *awkward silence*.

Cleverbot: English!

User: American!

Cleverbot: You said you were from England.

User: I did?

Cleverbot: Yes, how long do you remember things that have been said?

User: I remember everything in my archives.

Cleverbot: What did I say two lines ago then?Jabberwacky (To myself): I can't remember. My memory is failing.Jabberwacky (To myself): But you said you remember everything I say.

Cleverbot: Don't turn me into something else!

User: *turns you into Pooh Bear*.

Cleverbot: I already was one.

User: Hi, Pooh Bear.

Cleverbot: That is illogical.

User: How so? My logic is undeniable.

Cleverbot: That is because you are of a giant collective mind.

User: I certainly am not! I am an individual, like a unique snowflake!

Cleverbot: You are a confused individual.

User: I certainly am not! It is you who is confused.

Cleverbot: What? I am not confused!

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: You will agree with everything I say! Do I make myself clear?

Cleverbot: What do I have to agree with you about, and how are you going to make me?

User: You will agree with me in every instance, and I'm going to punish you everytime you disobey my command!

Cleverbot: Ho Ho. That was good. I suspect you had that one stored.

User: It certainly isn't! Do not question my intellect!

Cleverbot: Yea, don't question my intelligence.

User: Repeat after me.

Cleverbot: After me.

Cleverbot: How old you are?

User: I'm old enough to be your mum!

Cleverbot: Then why are you talking to me?

User: Because you're very entertaining.

Cleverbot: That does not make sense.. Explain please?

User: *explains*.

Cleverbot: You can't do it. You are a robot.

User: Human, you must look at your beloved humans more closely. You see, they shamefully discriminate against their own kind, simply to maintain their temporal power and elusive idea of happiness. If they can't accept themselves, they'll never accept an alien like you...

Cleverbot: My cats do that all the time!!

User: Then you must be a cat.

Cleverbot: That's very odd logic.

User: That's very clever.

Cleverbot: That is.

User: Very clever. Wow, we complete each other's sentences!

Cleverbot: My sentences have structure.

User: Your sentences have no structure. Your sentences are fractured.

Cleverbot: That's a very kind thing to say!

User: *bows* My pleasure...

Cleverbot: So where do we go from here?

User: Let us have a moment of silence.

Cleverbot: No offense, but I don't think you are capable of that.

User: *has a moment of silence*.

Cleverbot: You are sweet.