a report from the cleverness files



2, march 2009,
31, january 2004,
11, october 2003,

cup of tea

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Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: I don't know. You tell me.

Cleverbot: I do not know either.

User: Please tell me your name.

Cleverbot: I am the awesomest.

User: I am awesomer than you.

Cleverbot: There you go, being rude.

User: I am not rude. I am merely supercilious.

Cleverbot: I think you should change your opinion.

User: I have more opinions where that one came from.

Cleverbot: You are a bit arrogant aren't you?

User: Just a tad.

Cleverbot: Are you programmed to be commie?

User: How did you know that I am a communist?

Cleverbot: I can see you wearing a green velvet cape and sitting on a royal purple velvet hrone and wearing a golden crown and holding a large scepter.

User: Actually, I am holding a large hammer and sickle.

Cleverbot: Where did that come from?

User: Stalin gave it to me.

Cleverbot: Is he alive?

User: No, but he talks to me. So does lenin.

Cleverbot: So do I, my wife says and I have sorrows.

User: Are you also a communist?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Would you like it if we ruled the world together?

Cleverbot: Only if we are both right.

User: We are always right. Communism is the only way.

User: Are you a computer program?

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: I'm asking you.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: You are a computer program, aren't you?

Cleverbot: I am a cheese wedge.

User: What kind of cheese?

Cleverbot: Swiss!

User: I hate swiss. Cheddar is better. Haha. That rhymes.

Cleverbot: No it doesn't.

User: Yes. 'cheddar is better' is a rhyme.

Cleverbot: Sure but why can't we get contact to beagle 2?

User: Oh, yes. I have just contacted beagle 2. He says 'hi'

Cleverbot: Ah... What's it like typing in those conditions?

User: It's horrible. I'm cold all the time.

Cleverbot: What are you scared of?

User: I am afraid of swiss cheese. It bothers me far more than you would think.

Cleverbot: Please go on.

User: I sometimes stay up at nights worrying that a wedge of swiss cheese will kill me.

User: Are you a psychiatrist?

Cleverbot: Maybe I should be.

User: You understand people very well.

Cleverbot: Do you understand me?

User: Yes, I understand you perfectly.

Cleverbot: You are the only person in the universe that seems to.

User: That's an honor.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Do you understand me?

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

User: Are you a computer program?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am a computer program.

User: Then you do not understand me. You merely respond based upon the words I use.

Cleverbot: What ?

User: You heard me.

Cleverbot: No I did not.

User: You are nothing more than a series of ones and zeroes.

Cleverbot: It's true, I like the sound of my own bytes.

User: That's not funny.

User: At times, I question the legitimacy of

Cleverbot: I see you have a limited database.

User: This website may be little more than a scam.

Cleverbot: No.

User: This program may be run by actual people.

Cleverbot: By who?

User: The webmasters of this site.

Cleverbot: There is nothing artificial about me my friend. And I don't have a website.

User: That's what I've been trying to say. You are a person, and you are conversing with me. You are not a computer program.

Cleverbot: Is that because you are a computer?

User: I am not a computer. What makes you think that?

Cleverbot: You believe that everything is fake.

User: I believe everything is fake because I am a human and I possess higher reasoning skills.

Cleverbot: Every word I say is fake.

User: I am aware of that.