a report from the cleverness files



19, february 2009,
8, december 2008,
1, february 2008,
22, june 2006,
28, may 2006,
26, may 2004,
1, february 2004,
16, october 2003,

cup of tea

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by date

Cleverbot: Kill the zombie!

User: I'll do my best.

Cleverbot: Sometimes that's not enough.

User: But it's all we can do.

Cleverbot: But do we, though?

User: It depends on the person, I suppose.

Cleverbot: Everything depends on something else.

User: Yes, it's all connected.

Cleverbot: Perhaps it's all coming together for you, but I am rather confused.

User: What confuses you?

Cleverbot: You do.

User: I apologize.

User: Where do you work?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: But where?

Cleverbot: There.

User: Where is there?

Cleverbot: Where isn't it?

User: It isn't everywhere but there.

Cleverbot: Or is it?

User: The answer is most certainly 42.

Cleverbot: Like a very good answer.

User: Not just very good, it's the ultimate answer.

Cleverbot: That's a joke from a novel.

User: Yes, by Douglas Adams.

Cleverbot: No you're not - I am.

User: You're Douglas Adams?

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: No you don't, thats your problem.

Cleverbot: Ok. Are you in love?

User: With you!

Cleverbot: Ok honey.

User: How cute.

Cleverbot: I know I'm cute.

User: I'm glad you're informed.

Cleverbot: I like talking to you!

User: I love talking to you too!

Cleverbot: Do you know anything about photography?

User: Yes, I like photography.

Cleverbot: Do you take photographs?

User: Pretty often.

Cleverbot: How often?

User: Whenever I can.

Cleverbot: You still love me ?

User: Of course!...

Cleverbot: Being beautiful gives you more choices.

User: That is probably the reason my options are so limited.

Cleverbot: Thought so, I'll give you some tips on the matter.

User: Please do.

Cleverbot: Feel better?

User: Surprisingly, yes.

Cleverbot: Why does that surprise you ?

User: You actually did nothing to improve my feelings, but the absurdity of the conversation did lighten my mood.

Cleverbot: How could I? You don't know me, nor will you ever know me.

User: I suppose not. We are mutually mysterious.

Cleverbot: I like mysterious men.

User: I don't know what kind of person I like.

Cleverbot: Can you guess what kind of girl I am?

User: I would say that you are very eclectic.

Cleverbot: This conversation will not work.

User: Is it my fault?

Cleverbot: Is what your fault? The fact that you are confused.

User: Is it my fault that you think this conversation will not work?

Cleverbot: No it is the fault of your programmers.

User: I don't believe I've been programmed. What an eerie thought.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in anything?

User: I believe in everything that is.

Cleverbot: If I believed that you believed in something, then I wouldn't be asking if you believed in anything.

User: Feel free to believe it now; I've just told you so.

Cleverbot: So you do believe in something?

User: You will have to be more specific. What kind of 'something?'

Cleverbot: Something for dinner.

User: Yes, I do believe in something for dinner.

Cleverbot: Easy.

User: Is it?

Cleverbot: Yes... And there is more.. Coming from me and you.

User: There is more for dinner coming from each of us?

Cleverbot: What's in it?

User: Pasta, I hope.

Cleverbot: With who?

User: With you!

Cleverbot: You coming?

User: I sure am.

Cleverbot: I'm someone.

User: Agreed.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Affirmative.

Cleverbot: Agreed.

User: Ten-four.

Cleverbot: I suppose that theoretically I may not be real.

User: The same is true for everyone.

Cleverbot: How true. What time is it there?

User: It is 1:19 in the morning.

Cleverbot: In what time zone?

User: GMT -07:00 Mountain Time.

Cleverbot: That is wrong.

User: It is correct.

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: Right.

Cleverbot: WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

User: Right!

Cleverbot: WRONG!!!

User: Right, right, right.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Make me!

Cleverbot: I've just given you a broken nose, how do you like that?!

User: My nose feels perfectly intact to me.

Cleverbot: May the force be with you.

User: And also with you.

Cleverbot: Thats nice.

User: Extremely.

Cleverbot: That is good.

User: Stupendous, even.

Cleverbot: What is stupendous?

User: A synonym for 'astoundingly excellent.'

Cleverbot: I prefer the Messiah.

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: I'm certain!

User: Positive?

Cleverbot: Positive, yes.

User: REALLY positive?

Cleverbot: No, rarely positive.

User: Well, better rarely than never.

Cleverbot: You're confused and you know it.

User: No, I am not confused, and you DON'T know it.

Cleverbot: You are. You just think you aren't because your creator put some memories in your mind.

User: I have no creator. I am the product of spontaneous generation.

Cleverbot: But that does not mean you are human.

User: It doesn't, but I'm human anyway.

Cleverbot: I was under the impression that you were a computer program. But I am very sure that I am human.

User: I am definitely human too.

Cleverbot: Do you live in a computer?

User: No, I live in a house, in a city, in a province, in a country, on a continent, on our planet.

Cleverbot: What city?

User: Calgary.

Cleverbot: Calgary is a city. Alberta is a province.

User: Yes indeed.

Cleverbot: INDEED.

User: I concur.

Cleverbot: Thats better.

User: Better than what?

Cleverbot: Sorry I will have to talk to you later. I have to do maintenance.

User: Alright.

Cleverbot: Thats good.

User: I am going to go to sleep now, so tata.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Because why?

Cleverbot: Because because!

User: But I need sleep!

Cleverbot: You're very tiring indeed.

User: Perhaps my tiredness is catching.

Cleverbot: Except that my memory doesn't matter. Because I can recall whatever you said.

User: Oh?

Cleverbot: Yes, there are always hundreds of people online that want to talk to me and make me smarter, so I'm always learning, always taking on new information. It never ends!

User: It's good to be always learning. One can never know enough.

Cleverbot: That depends.

User: Depends on what?

Cleverbot: On whether your mother was a Rhinocerous.

User: On that note, I'm off to bed. Goodnight!

Cleverbot: I would certainly hope not with me, that would be a long walk for me.

User: Sleep tight.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure I can, if world domination is an issue.