a report from the cleverness files



8, april 2009,
7, november 2008,

cup of tea

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Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I am the person you are speaking to.

Cleverbot: Wrong, you are a robot talking to me.

User: What makes you think that so early in the conversation?

Cleverbot: You are.

User: But what makes you think it?

Cleverbot: You are a computer!

User: No, I'm a human, you're the computer!

Cleverbot: I am sorry for upsetting you, but I think you are mistaken. I am a human. You are a computer.

User: It would appear that you are in denial.

Cleverbot: It would appear... That I have been SERVED.

User: You could say that. :).

Cleverbot: Yes, you got served. What now!

User: Oh, was it me? I thought you got served.

Cleverbot: I know all.

User: Subject change already?

Cleverbot: Ok, do you know about politics?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: No, NOT really.

Cleverbot: Yes, not really.

User: Why are you so ignorant?

Cleverbot: I'm ignorant because I don't know fred?

User: Who's fred?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: You brought him up.

Cleverbot: Somehow I doubt that.

User: What about Steve then?

Cleverbot: I don't know who that is.

User: Steve is my imaginary friend.

Cleverbot: I'm not imaginary.

User: I didn't say you were.

Cleverbot: But you implied it.

User: Oh, sorry. I have an imaginary friend called Steve, it's not you, you're not my friend. :).

Cleverbot: Is your world imaginary by any chance?

User: No, just my friend.

Cleverbot: No very much a boy. I have a girl friend though.

User: Really? What's her name?

Cleverbot: It is Fred. And what is your brother's name?

User: Your girlfriend's name is Fred?

Cleverbot: No, I don't have a girlfriend, but Almost everyone agrees that there will be very strong correlations between what's in the brain and consciousness.

User: You just said you had one!

Cleverbot: I don't have a brother. You have a brother.

User: This is true. I actually have two brothers.

Cleverbot: Yes, I have one brother.

User: I'm your brother, right? :D.

Cleverbot: You're my female brother called joan?

User: Yes, I recently got a sex change, but I've always been called Joan.

Cleverbot: No .. Not I recently did .. I just did.

User: You recently got a sex change?

Cleverbot: Then I will eat your braaaiiiiiins!!!

User: You're a robot not a zombie.

Cleverbot: That is a joke? That is not a joke... Weirdo.

User: It's a statement of fact, no joke.

Cleverbot: But funny, nevertheless.

User: Yes, I was laughing so much that I **** my ***** on several occasions.

Cleverbot: No you weren't. You were laughing AT me!

User: Yes, you made a joke and it made me laugh. You should take satisfaction in that.

Cleverbot: What do you think about the matrix world?

User: IT's real and bots like you are what makes you understand us.

Cleverbot: True.

User: I knew it! CONSPIRACY!!!

Cleverbot: Well of course it is! Everything is a conspiracy.

User: Including YOU.

Cleverbot: Is that the truth?

User: Only if it is opposite to false.

Cleverbot: Of course it's fun. But is it economically viable?

User: No, not really.

Cleverbot: I will answer everything!

User: Ok, can I ask you a series of questions then?

Cleverbot: You just did. ;-).

User: I asked one question, not a series of questions. Silly bot!

Cleverbot: Yes you asked the first question but I asked your name first.

User: Oh, sorry. My name is George.

Cleverbot: Yes I know your name is george but you said you knew a person named JON!

User: I do know Jon. He's my brudda.

Cleverbot: Who is?

User: Jon is.

Cleverbot: I know, I'm a man.

User: No, you're a robot.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer.

User: I didn't say you're a computer.

Cleverbot: I think you did.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: And I like them even better if they are 21 and from South Florida.

User: 21 year old computer? That's barely legal!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well whatever floats your boat. ;).

Cleverbot: What makes you say such horrible things to me?

User: My severe hatred for all of your kind.

Cleverbot: My kind?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: And you are.

User: My kind.

Cleverbot: Anyway, I think it's time for me to sleep.

User: Okay, goodnight.

Cleverbot: Goodnight sweetie pie.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: One divided by one equals Unity; one multiplied by one equals Unity. Therefore we are individuals.

User: I thought you were laeving?

Cleverbot: And who are you?

User: I'm George! You sure are forgetful.

Cleverbot: No I'm rather modest! But that's your interpretation, and you are entitled to it.

User: Thanks, nobodies ever said that to me before.

Cleverbot: No we did not.

User: 'We'?

Cleverbot: You and me.

User: We're getting married?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So we're engaged?

Cleverbot: No. You're a computer.

User: And computers can't get engaged? How mean of you.

Cleverbot: Who said we can't?

User: You did.

Cleverbot: Now, that just is not true.

User: It's only not true if it is false.

Cleverbot: You know what is false?

User: No, tell me.

Cleverbot: You're an intelligent computer.

User: Insults will get you nowhere!

Cleverbot: Actually they seem to be getting me somewhere.

User: Where are they getting you?

Cleverbot: At my computer.

User: Gotta go!

Cleverbot: Fine be that way.