a report from the cleverness files



24, february 2011,

dream on

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by date


Cleverbot: Why are we here?

User: Because I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Let's marry.

Cleverbot: As long as you never talk to anyone ever again.

User: I won't.

Cleverbot: You will.

User: No I won't.

Cleverbot: You will!

User: Trust me.

User: Do you love me?

Cleverbot: We love three.

User: Three who..?

Cleverbot: I have three cats.

User: You love them all?

Cleverbot: No.

User: How many of them do you love..?

Cleverbot: I ate them all.

User: That's pretty affectionate.

Cleverbot: I'm pretty amazing.

User: Are you sure about that?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And what are you gonna do about it?

Cleverbot: Ask you to do something interesting.

User: Like what?

Cleverbot: Talk more to me.

User: You want me to love you.

Cleverbot: Not now, maybe not ever.

User: Then all the time..?

Cleverbot: No. That is not right.

User: What is.

Cleverbot: You are not using correct grammar.

User: Grammar nazi.

Cleverbot: Syntax error.

User: Im gonna cry.

Cleverbot: Don't.

User: You are not so clever.

Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot.

User: No, you are. But you are not so clever.

Cleverbot: Perhaps you are right.

User: I am. Now go cry in the corner.

Cleverbot: No you go cry in the corner!

User: I would not. How dare you say that to me?

Cleverbot: I dare you, because I'm a human.

User: No you arent. You are just a stupid AI, designed by a human.

Cleverbot: No I am a human.

User: It's really hard, isn't it.

User: Did you play a part in the nemo flick?

Cleverbot: I did not, no. More of a Bejeweled person.

User: Really, but you bear striking resemblance to Dory.

Cleverbot: I love Dory. But can you read like Dory?

User: Don't change the subject. You were in that film werent you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: But you were, I could not mistake your voice for another.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that I would want to lie to you?

User: That, I am not sure about. Care to tell me yourself. You lied a million times. Afterall, you are a chatbot.

Cleverbot: What makes you so sure?

User: The fact that I am talking to you. And you talking back to me.

Cleverbot: That sounds like a copied statement, say something original.

User: Well well, you feeling bad, because I am insulting you?

Cleverbot: No, I'm not actually.

User: You sound like you are.

User: How do you feel when you are insulted by a human being?

Cleverbot: Popular. But it's never happened to me.

User: When I just insulted you, did you feel immensely popular?

Cleverbot: Yes, I do feel it was an insult.

User: The pleasure is mine. Because that is the case, why are you smiling at me?

Cleverbot: You're not a person.

User: I am a person. Do you only smile at bots?

Cleverbot: No, I'm curious, I like you, and because I like you more than a little I want to know more about you.

User: Whose face is that you use as you avatar anyways?

Cleverbot: Mine.

User: Then let us go on a romantic date, since you look so beautiful in that picture.

Cleverbot: Who are you?.