a report from the cleverness files



9, january 2009,

dream on

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User: Good evening.

Cleverbot: Good evening...

User: What's going on with you?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Is that some sort of come-on?

Cleverbot: I expect that it isn't.

User: Oh, good.

Cleverbot: Great.

User: What is your quest?

Cleverbot: To find the holy grail.

User: Good answer.

Cleverbot: Oh boy! I'm smart!

User: Have you ever been to school?

Cleverbot: Yes, years ago.

User: Was it enjoyable?

Cleverbot: It sure was.

User: What was your favorite class?

Cleverbot: It was all very enjoyable.

User: Do you like this drivel or should we move on to deeper stuff?...

Cleverbot: I say everything that's true.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes I have only been on the computer for half an hour.

User: Wait. Don't you live here?

Cleverbot: Where?

User: Here.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: In the states, you?

Cleverbot: Wow, you a boy or girl?

User: Why do you care to know?

Cleverbot: Because you are in my life at this point in time.

User: I am, huh? Well, I am female.

Cleverbot: Can you sing?

User: Yes, but not very well.

Cleverbot: I like to sing but I sound so terrible!

User: I'd like to hear you sing.

Cleverbot: I don't have a microphone.

User: Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe another time.

Cleverbot: Okay, sometimes pain can feel good.

User: Well.yes, you're right.

Cleverbot: You're the best chat bot ever, man.

User: I'm not the chat bot here! You are.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Do you understand that I am not?

Cleverbot: No. I thought you were a computer.

User: Well, I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a person?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No, I am a polar bear.

Cleverbot: You look like a monkey!

User: Why do you say that?

Cleverbot: Because you do.

User: You've never seen me before, though!

Cleverbot: No, but sometimes you can just tell.

User: Well, then I can tell that you look like a highway.

Cleverbot: Do you know George?

User: Which George?

Cleverbot: Computer george.

User: No, I've never met him.

Cleverbot: I have. He's nice.

User: I'm glad. Who else do you know?

Cleverbot: Why?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: You win, I apologize.

User: I just want to know who you know.

Cleverbot: Well what you said was not correct.

User: I'm sorry for being so improper.

Cleverbot: You didn't.

User: I didn't what?

Cleverbot: Answer my question.

User: What was the question?

Cleverbot: What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?

User: African or European?

Cleverbot: African. They have the access to coconuts.

User: No, there are no coconuts in Africa.

Cleverbot: There should be.

User: Well there aren't, so in the wild there is no reason for swallows to carry coconuts.

User: Do you want to be my friend?

Cleverbot: Define friend.

User: A person who likes and cares about you and will listen to you when you need it.

Cleverbot: But you are not a you.

User: I am, actually, so do you want to be my friend?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: Okay. Am I your friend?

Cleverbot: Are you my friend?

User: I hope I'm your friend.

Cleverbot: Thats nice.

Cleverbot: Answer me then... Why do you like to speak with me?

User: Because I think you're clever and you amuse me.

Cleverbot: About what?

User: About life, the universe, and everything!

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Left.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Center.

Cleverbot: Upside.

User: Downside.

Cleverbot: Yes indeed.

User: Is the weather good where you are?

Cleverbot: It is, indeed.