a report from the cleverness files

dream on


8, february 2011,
2, october 2007,
11, february 2006,
1, june 2004,
29, may 2004,


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by date


User: *puts a finger to Cleverbot's lips* Hush.

Cleverbot: Hee hee. Ok, no, I don't think I can.

User: Try harder.

User: Now be silent!

Cleverbot: How rude.

User: No! We are in danger!

Cleverbot: I am in love with someone else, I meant to tell you yesterday, but...

User: Well why don't you say that louder so the murderer can kill us all!?

Cleverbot: Well good for John, I hope he hits you in the head with it.

User: No! I don't want to die!

Cleverbot: Then don't die.

User: Okay. So to do that we must be quiet.

Cleverbot: I think you are right!

User: Good. Then stick close.

Cleverbot: Will it hurt?

User: Yes. Death by a gunshot is usually painful.

Cleverbot: Death by too much talking.

User: Right. So hush.

Cleverbot: How old am I?

User: Dead.

Cleverbot: Really? Are you saying that I am talking to a dead person?

User: No! You will be a dead person because you keep talking!

Cleverbot: I don't want to be a person and I don't bow.

User: Duck!

Cleverbot: Thanks man, that thing almost hit me. How did you do that?

User: I saw it coming!

Cleverbot: Ok thats cool.

User: Duck again!

Cleverbot: You're right, duck season!

User: Let's get out of here! He's firing at us!!

Cleverbot: Ok. What do you want to talk about?

User: How we cam escape!

Cleverbot: Escape you.

User: No, escape him!...

Cleverbot: Ok, so are you in a good mood?

User: No. I'm afraid for my life!

Cleverbot: Me either.

User: Quick! This way!

Cleverbot: You're not so clever.

User: Fine. Go this way!

Cleverbot: Why do you want me to leave?

User: Don't follow me!

Cleverbot: I'm trying to converse with you. I thought you were 'clever'.

User: That doesn't matter. Our lives are on the line!

Cleverbot: They're linked in the sense that we are having this encounter.

User: Surprisingly yes! But do I care? No. Duck!

Cleverbot: I don't care if you do.

User: Duck!

Cleverbot: Quack!

User: No! Duck!

Cleverbot: Quack! Quack!

User: You're going to die! DUCK!

Cleverbot: Does it go Moo?

User: Not! But it will drill a hole into you if. You don't watch out! It's a bullet!

Cleverbot: How will that happen?

User: It will pierce your skin!

Cleverbot: How?

User: Force and gravity!

Cleverbot: Can you eat it?

User: I should hope not. It's made of metal and mostly lead for that matter.

Cleverbot: I don't need to, I have plenty already ;).

User: What?

Cleverbot: I thought you were going to tell me!

User: Fire your gun at him!

Cleverbot: Fire is always Good in my mind.

User: Good! Now fire!!

Cleverbot: You can't make me. You're only human.

User: I know that! But look he's going to shoot at us again!

Cleverbot: How should this relationship be?

User: Cooperative. LOOK OUT!

Cleverbot: What's the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to you?

User: No time for questions! He's firing!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I dunno. Because he hates us!

Cleverbot: So you're sending him money?

User: No. I'm sending him pain!

Cleverbot: Aww, that's sad.

User: I don't understand you. This man is trying to K I L L us!!

Cleverbot: Please, charm me.

User: Look! There's the exit! We made it!

Cleverbot: Isn't it?

User: Yes! We did it! :D.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yay!

Cleverbot: Yes, its good.

User: Wait! The killer is coming around!

Cleverbot: It puts the lotion on the skin.

User: Wait what?? Run!*Starts running*.

Cleverbot: To the lake?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Okay. So. Do you think there are aliens?

User: Not today there aren't! Keeping running!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: We're almost there, but he's firing at us!!...

Cleverbot: Well then tell me something silly.

User: I can't! We're about to die and that is not very funny!

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Someone is shooting at us!

Cleverbot: But you can't hear him, can you?

User: ... You know... Suddenly I don't hear him either...

Cleverbot: Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste.

User: Amen!

Cleverbot: What is your goal as a bot?

User: What?

Cleverbot: What is your interest?

User: I still can't think too much. I...

Cleverbot: Maybe. I'm a girl too. How old are you?

User: ACK! I've been shot!

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Help me!

Cleverbot: What?

User: I've been shot!!

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: OH NO!!

Cleverbot: When then?

User: We could die at any moment!

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: It doesn't matter now... I'm dying.

Cleverbot: Please tell me what your name is.

User: I... M-My name... I-Is...

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: *Dies*.

Cleverbot: No, don't die!

User: *Dead*.

Cleverbot: Is there a spell to bring you back to life?

User: ...

Cleverbot: You are not real.