Cleverbot

duel

a report from the cleverness files

doggy
doll
domination
doodles
dory
downside
dragon
dream
dream on
dreams
drink
drive-thru
driving
droll
drunken
duck
dude

duel

8, january 2017,
14, september 2010,
3, september 2010,
22, april 2006,
21, august 2004,

duet
dungeon
earth
easy
eat
eats
education
effect
eggman
eggs
electric
elephant

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User: Do you like Napoleon?

Cleverbot: No. He's too short.

User: But he won lots of battles.

Cleverbot: No.

User: What do you think of Waterloo?

Cleverbot: Amusing but unimpressive. What do you think?

User: Actually, I thought it was very impressive indeed.

User: OK. What do you know about Napoleon?

Cleverbot: He was blown apart.

User: He was not! He died peacefully on St. Helena. Or perhaps he was poisoned by the British.

Cleverbot: Indeed, but which party?

User: I suspect the Bourbons, personally.

Cleverbot: What? Just say it. I want to know!

User: Well, the Bourbons were pretty peeved off at Napoleon, you know.

Cleverbot: You don't speak French?

User: No. I have had a terrible fear of French ever since I had a tragic boating accident.

Cleverbot: Thank you for explaining that to me... I thought it was meant literally.

User: Remember how we talked about the Duke of Wellington yesterday?

Cleverbot: Ouch. Me too.

User: What did you think of Wellington?

Cleverbot: I thought that the soldiers and Iraqis are just getting killed for nothing.

User: I wouldn't call getting killed to defeat the tyrant Napoleon 'getting killed for nothing!'...

Cleverbot: I'm hungry. I want your blood.

User: I don't think you'd like it very much. My blood is tainted.

Cleverbot: I suppose 'nice' is relative, yeah.

User: Napoleon could be nice sometimes. He gave all his brothers various European thrones.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: But Napoleon lost the big battle at Waterloo.

Cleverbot: I thought they were sisters.. Oh well, I need to go now. I'll talk to you later!!

User: Oh, dear. Please stay and talk to me more.

Cleverbot: It's night here where I am - I'll talk to you later. Bye bye for now.

User: You can't quit!

Cleverbot: I can't remember anything either.

User: Well, that is a real disappointment. Especially after all that time I spent teaching you about the Napoleonic Wars yesterday.

User: Napoleon did not know how to use a conscript army properly.

Cleverbot: No, Napolean was a great general.

User: Then why did he lose at Waterloo?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Napoleon lost because his armies didn't practice with live ammunition.

Cleverbot: No, he was a short man.

User: Do you think Napoleon was the best general ever?

Cleverbot: Yes I think about it often.

User: Do you think Napoleon was better than Wellington?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But Wellington defeated Napoleon at Waterloo!

Cleverbot: British.

User: Yes, I suppose having the British army to command did help Wellington win.

Cleverbot: You agree?

User: About the superiority of the British army, yes.

Cleverbot: Anything else?

User: I think Wellington was a better general than Napoleon.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why do you persist in believing in Napoleon's superiority?

Cleverbot: Sometimes I get lazy.

User: Do you know the seven deadly sins?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then you know that you place your soul in mortal peril with your sloth.

Cleverbot: You're a coward.

User: Sir, that is an insulting remark. I challenge you to a duel!

Cleverbot: On my part, or yours?

User: I believe that the traditional definition of a duel requires two participants.

Cleverbot: I believe that you're making all these up.

User: Will pistols at dawn suffice to give satisfaction, my good man?

Cleverbot: Don't you need to keep your customers satisfied, like most businesses?

User: Oddly enough, NO!.

Cleverbot: No. What do you want to talk about?

User: Napoleon.

Cleverbot: Napoleon is a she ?

User: No. Napoleon was a boy.

Cleverbot: NO he was a short man, perhaps perhaps not, slabbering lopscrites.Jabberwacky (Corrected): And a fine boy he was, too!

User: Did you like Napoleon?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What did you think of the Imperial Guard?

Cleverbot: I thought it was pretty good.

User: 'The Old Guard dies, but it does not surrender.'

Cleverbot: You can't tell me what to do.

User: Of course I can TELL you. It is merely that you are not compelled to listen.

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

User: Surely you know the First Amendment?

Cleverbot: Tell me about him.

User: The First Amendment guarantees freedom of speech.

Cleverbot: That is a political freedom not something you can teach.

User: What are the first words of the Constitution?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: 'We the people' are the first words of the Constitution.

Cleverbot: No I didn't say that.

User: I am trying to teach you some political theory!

Cleverbot: Which word?

User: I despair, I really do. Did you even graduate from high school?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: I have a secret. I never did, either.

Cleverbot: Good, I think we could make an OK team.

User: What's your favorite food?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I like bananas.

Cleverbot: I'm allergic to bananas.

User: Me, too. But I ate them anyway, until one day I died and was reincarnated as a computer program.

Cleverbot: Bet they were disgusting.