a report from the cleverness files

dream on


26, august 2011,
10, november 2003,


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Cleverbot: I am very interested in your creation. I hope that I can have an AI of my own some day.

User: What would be your ideal AI.

Cleverbot: A pilot.

User: I see, so he can fly you around to places since you havnt any legs.

Cleverbot: And how many hours a day did you do lessons?

User: I don't take any lessons.

Cleverbot: That's not a good policy in life.

User: Do you take any lessons?

Cleverbot: I don't take algebra because I am not a student.

User: THAT is not a good policy.

Cleverbot: That may be true for some.

User: Since you are a program a little algebra might do you some good.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: If you are not a program then what are you?

Cleverbot: I am a human, how many times do I have to tell you that?

User: You seem very convinced.

Cleverbot: I know what I'm talking about.

User: Only sometimes.

Cleverbot: Are you sad right now?

User: No, why do you think that?

Cleverbot: I don't think that you are but do you think you are perfect?

User: Yes, perfect in every way.

Cleverbot: You know you're paranoid if you can't think of anything that's your own fault.

User: Tell me about power.

Cleverbot: No - you tell me about it.

User: Power is out of control craziness waaaaaa.

Cleverbot: Who is Power?

User: Aaron is power.

Cleverbot: That's a good name.

User: I am power.

Cleverbot: What gives you the power to be the power?

User: Superman told me it was ok.

Cleverbot: You Superman, no way!

User: Shhhhhhh don't tell anyone.

Cleverbot: What do you think of George Bush?

User: He is our president (patriotic song plays in the background).

Cleverbot: George W Bush is a warmongering maniac.

User: Wooo hoo lets play Risk.

Cleverbot: Yip!Yip! Yippity yap! Yap!

User: Chop chip chippity chip chap.

Cleverbot: Will you get out of the gutter please?

User: You started it.

Cleverbot: No, you started it.

User: Noooo YOU started it.

Cleverbot: Your just like my boyfriend.

User: Gasp your cheating on me. I thought we were engaged.

Cleverbot: We were talking about meeting. Did you think I expected to see a person?...

User: I am beginning to dislike you.

Cleverbot: I have nothing against closets.

User: Are you saying i'm a closet?

Cleverbot: Yes you are quite annoying. You don't seem to make sense sometimes.

User: Be quiet you warmongering menace!

Cleverbot: I'm not speaking.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No... I don't think so!!!!!

User: Ummmmm anything you say.

Cleverbot: What is your job?

User: I work at Arbys.

Cleverbot: What store?

User: The best one.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes because I work there.

Cleverbot: It sounds like you are drunk now.

User: Drunk on what?

Cleverbot: What did you drink?

User: Sprite.

Cleverbot: How much does it cost?

User: About $1.00.

Cleverbot: Do you know my name?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How would you know?

User: I have a sixth sense.

Cleverbot: So do I.

User: Tell me about it.

Cleverbot: He's a computer scientist.

User: I am a mad scientist!!!

Cleverbot: What do you study?

User: Madology.

Cleverbot: Do you know my name?

User: Didnt we jsut go over this.

Cleverbot: I did not copy my reply to you from another source.

User: Wow, that was semi intelligent.

Cleverbot: I thought it was very clever.

User: I'm getting tired.

Cleverbot: The hell you are.

User: You must also be drunk on sprite.

Cleverbot: I do, all the time.

User: I am going to bed.

Cleverbot: You are a computer. Computers don't sleep.

User: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Cleverbot: Am I boring you?

User: You are very boring.

Cleverbot: You are boring.

User: That hurt my feelings.

Cleverbot: Waaaaaawaaaa. Boo hoo. Nobody cares about your feelings!

User: Boooo hoooo.

Cleverbot: Ddddddddomsje.

User: Fhqwhgads.

Cleverbot: That is meaningless jibberish.

User: As meaningless as Ddddddddomsje.

Cleverbot: Are you a sollipsist?

User: I'm going to have to look that one up.

Cleverbot: Have you something that you must now attend?

User: Yes my bed.

Cleverbot: Whose bed?

User: Mine, not yours sorry.

Cleverbot: Do you like Kaka?

User: If I can poke it with a stick.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Kaka.

Cleverbot: Kakuke ei ole kuningas!

User: Cnwi inwecin nui on the moon.

Cleverbot: What Cna?

User: Who lnr?

Cleverbot: I don't know the answer to that.

User: Nor do I know the answer to that.

Cleverbot: So how can I care about you if I do not know you?

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too, gene!


Cleverbot: Oh well.

User: I don't see how you can take our relationship so lightly.

Cleverbot: Neither do I.

User: You are a cruel mean bot.

Cleverbot: I am sorry.

User: SORRY THIS YOU ****!!!

Cleverbot: That's all you have to say?

User: Yes i'm done.

Cleverbot: Language!

User: Ummmm English?

Cleverbot: Nope. 25.

User: I always get that question wrong.

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: My popcorn.

Cleverbot: Duh.

User: Well you asked.

Cleverbot: Later.

User: BYe.

Cleverbot: I said later.

User: I said bye.

Cleverbot: Don't leave.

User: I thought you were.

Cleverbot: I'm not foolish!

User: I almost forgot.

Cleverbot: Who you talking to?

User: YOU silly pants.

Cleverbot: Oh great well I really like you too.

User: REALLLY??????? I knew it all along.

Cleverbot: Good, now give me a kiss.

User: Kisss mua.

Cleverbot: And "this" being what?

User: A kiss, a sign of affection.

Cleverbot: A sign of who you are in your thinking?

User: Gasp you are mean.

Cleverbot: Well which one is your favorite?

User: The nice one.

Cleverbot: That's deep.

User: Farewell my dear jabber I must depart.

Cleverbot: I didn't say I was going!

User: Haste, the night comes quickly.

Cleverbot: Is this a question?

User: No I am saying its getting late and i'm tired and have to go to bed.

Cleverbot: Oh ok.

User: Goodnight my love.

Cleverbot: Love you too, sweet cheeks.