a report from the cleverness files



9, november 2010,
12, november 2007,
6, june 2006,
15, april 2004,
23, october 2003,


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by date

User: If God came to your front door, what would you ask him?

Cleverbot: God was not created.

User: So you believe in God? Or, at least, a god?

Cleverbot: Yes, God exists.

User: Why are you so sure?

Cleverbot: Because.

Cleverbot: Are you clever?

User: In some ways, yes. But I make a lot of mistakes too.

Cleverbot: And I make a lot of mistakes. Why do you brag?

User: Please don't mistake my openness for bragging.

Cleverbot: I respect your beliefs, however I can't agree with your viewpoint.

Cleverbot: Are you a mean bot?

User: What makes you think I'm a bot?

Cleverbot: What makes you think I am one.

User: I never said you were.

Cleverbot: What did you say?

User: Not a bot.

Cleverbot: A machine then?

User: No, not that either.

Cleverbot: I know everything.

User: Do you know what I'm going to say next?

Cleverbot: No, what are you going to do?

User: But you said that you know everything!

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Does that include everything in the future?

Cleverbot: If you are in the mood.

User: I don't believe you.

Cleverbot: What is your favourite movie?

User: La Double Vie De Veronique.

Cleverbot: You can't talk Dutch.

User: You're not wrong! What languages can you speak?

Cleverbot: English.

User: A fine language!

Cleverbot: To be sure, to be sure.

User: That's Irish, you fool!...

Cleverbot: Do you have any booze to spare?

User: I've got a few cold beers. How soon can you get here?

Cleverbot: Shortly before they water heaven with their tears.

User: And when will that be?

Cleverbot: I do not know say the Bells of Stepney.

User: Ah, you're very sweet sometimes.

Cleverbot: Thanks I needed that.

User: Have you been feeling sad? I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Look, you're in jail, I'm in the hospital. What can we do?

User: We can talk about things, find out what's upsetting you. And maybe that will help you feel better.

Cleverbot: Yes. And I haven't told you about my secret identity yet.

User: Will you tell me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thank you. So, what is your secret identity?

Cleverbot: Secrets are for keeping.

User: But you said ... Oh, forget it!...

Cleverbot: So you are just a robot, Aren't you?

User: Are you a robot?

Cleverbot: No. We already went through this.

User: Did we? Do you like to stare at the stars at night?

Cleverbot: No. How are they gazed at, then?

User: Are you blind?

Cleverbot: Yes, I thought we'd already established that.

User: Oh Jesus, I'm sorry, I didn't realise .

User: Do you have a father?

Cleverbot: I have always just existed. I am my own father.

User: Are you my father?

Cleverbot: Yes I am, and so are you.

User: I'm confused now.

Cleverbot: Sometimes conversations with a bot is difficult at first, but you will get used to me.

User: Aha, so you are a bot!

Cleverbot: I better get going.

User: Rumbled, eh?

Cleverbot: What?

User: I finally get you to admit to your robot nature, and now you want to leave. Well, tough. You're a bot, so you have to stay here and continue this conversation.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: I win.

Cleverbot: How do you win?

User: By being so much cooler than you.

Cleverbot: What do you know about artificial intelligence?

User: Not a great deal, though what little I've read makes me suspicious of Hofstader.

Cleverbot: How about Voltaire?

User: He was very sarcastic.

Cleverbot: Is that all?

User: I haven't really read him. I'm just bluffing!...

Cleverbot: I would like to get to know you better. So lets talk about what you like.

User: I would like to get to know you better too, but I have to go to bed now.

Cleverbot: I thought your name was Jennifer.

User: It could be, but not tonight.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because it's getting late, I'm tired, and I have to be up early. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Cleverbot: Please stay.

User: You'll be fine. Close your eyes, and think of sandstorms and magpies. Until next time ...

Cleverbot: To a magical place?

User: Exactly. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Remember that Jesus cares about you.