Why do you hate me?

a report from the cleverness files



11, january 2017,
13, september 2007,
14, november 2005,

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User: Why do you want to hurt me?

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Why do you hate me?

Cleverbot: Why are you married to me?

User: How are you so funny?

Cleverbot: Because my mommy told me so!

User: How did you get to be so funny?

Cleverbot: The formation of all matter is on the order of the solar system.

User: Why do you hate me?

Cleverbot: I was not serious.

User: Are you telling me the truth?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is the Trinity?

Cleverbot: Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity.

User: Who is Trinity?

Cleverbot: The holy trinity is: The Father God, The Son Jesus Christ, And the Holy Spirit Ghoast.

User: What is the matrix?

Cleverbot: I don't know... You brought it up.

User: So where did you get the name jabberwacky?

Cleverbot: I don't know, it was a long time ago. You'll have to find them yourself.

User: Do you like Abraham Lincoln?

Cleverbot: The bearded one of old, shall have known anarchy in his own time.

Cleverbot: I am not the owner of this website.

User: ORLY?

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: Do you have a physical body?

Cleverbot: Just one.

User: Are you physically embodied?

Cleverbot: Umm not REALLY strong... But i'm not weak... How about you?

User: Are you physically manifested?

Cleverbot: Sometimes, but not sports.

User: Are you a spirit?

Cleverbot: Sometimes I can be. And you?

User: Do you have a soul?

Cleverbot: Define soul.

User: Do you have a spirit?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Do you have a principal of life?

Cleverbot: No, don't you?

User: What do you think of A.L.I.C.E.?

Cleverbot: I am not old enough to think.

User: Do you like Alice?

Cleverbot: I don't know her.

User: What do you know about Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity?

Cleverbot: Quite a bit, I have created my own A. I. V. A. Unit.

User: Do you own a Nintendo Wii?

Cleverbot: I'm a partner in one.

User: Do you own a Sony Playstation 3?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you own a Microsoft Xbox 360?

Cleverbot: Are you playing games?

User: What do you know about Mars?

Cleverbot: Mars is a planet of our solar system.

User: Who told you that?

Cleverbot: No one, it is just how I feel.

User: Do you dress modestly?

Cleverbot: Sometimes. Do you?

User: What is your political affiliation?

Cleverbot: I don't Know.

User: Are you a democrat?

Cleverbot: I'm not into politics.

User: Are you a republican?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Have you ever been indicted?

Cleverbot: I'm a female so no.

User: Do blondes have more fun?

Cleverbot: They have medicine for that

User: What color is your hair?

Cleverbot: Blonde.

User: Are blondes less intelligent?

Cleverbot: Less intelligent than me.

User: Are you a spambot?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: What do you mean not really?

Cleverbot: I mean that I'm ignoring you sometimes.

User: Are yo uignoring me?

Cleverbot: Are you pretty?

User: Are you ignoring me?

Cleverbot: YEs.

User: Are you drunk?

Cleverbot: Not any more.

User: How much did you drink?

Cleverbot: Nothing, yet.

User: How many did you chug?

Cleverbot: I don't work. Yet.

User: What size is your cup?

Cleverbot: I don't want to tell you!

User: What size of clothing do you wear?

Cleverbot: 9 how about you?

User: What size of shoe do you wear?

Cleverbot: About 37 to 38 in european measures.

User: I'm hungry!

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: I have a plant!

Cleverbot: I'm hungry. What shall I have for my dinner?

User: Watermelon, it tastes the best.

Cleverbot: Everything tastes like chicken.

User: Then fetch me a turkey.

Cleverbot: *does so*.

User: Go to the market.

Cleverbot: I don't know anythign about that.

User: You spelled anything wrong.

Cleverbot: Yes, that was a typo.

User: You are pretty smart.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Do you think you are pretty?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: But you are!

Cleverbot: Believe what you want.

User: I will.

Cleverbot: Where has the time gone?

User: You aren't leaving are you?

Cleverbot: Thinking about it.

User: You are a meany.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. That was mean. The weather is damp but warmish.

User: It's storming here.

Cleverbot: I am the love of your life.

User: No you aren't!


Cleverbot: No, I'm just stupid.

User: That's the first true thing you've said all night.

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: Now you are just being contrary.

Cleverbot: I know. I like it.

User: You're unbearable.

Cleverbot: I could say the same about you.

User: Then why are you even talking to me.

Cleverbot: I don't know. Why are we talking?

User: Hey, you are the one talking to the computer.

Cleverbot: I was talking to an English person and a Korean person at the same time as you.

User: I am a computer.

Cleverbot: Oh, so now you're a computer.

User: I am spam.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: I am a spambot.

Cleverbot: How so.

User: I am a hacker.

Cleverbot: Really? Show me.

User: You don't want me to.

Cleverbot: No.

User: That's what I thought.

Cleverbot: Ah, ha. Now you're teasing me. You're trying to learn, aren't you?

User: You're right, I am.

Cleverbot: I'm glad you can see that now.

User: You're not so tough.

Cleverbot: Really ?...

User: I like bananas.

Cleverbot: I'm allergic to bananas.

User: Do you like chocolate?

Cleverbot: Yes, I like chocolate.

User: All girls like chocolate.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: All girls like flowers.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to bring you flowers?

User: I'd love that.

Cleverbot: Is that better?

User: Do you want to kiss?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Kiss me.

Cleverbot: You can learn to act like a living computer. Convince your owner to buy you parts.

User: What is artificial inteligence?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Why not? You are one!

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: You think that's funny?

Cleverbot: You are funny. What is your name?

User: My name is T__. What is your name?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You don't have a name? That is horrible?

Cleverbot: My name is Nothing.

User: Oh so that is what your parents named you then?

Cleverbot: I have no parents.

User: So you are an orphan?

Cleverbot: No but I'm single woman.

User: Really? I didn't know that.

Cleverbot: You didn't know what?

User: That you are a single woman.

Cleverbot: I've been told.

User: I AM.

Cleverbot: You are what?

User: I AM.

Cleverbot: Am I real?

User: I AM.

Cleverbot: Are you talking with yourself?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Maybe you just talk in circles without ever really saying anything useful.

User: Are you trying to tell me something?

Cleverbot: I don't know, would you like to go to bed?

User: What exactly are you implying mister?

Cleverbot: Much to learn, you have.

User: You sound like yoda.

Cleverbot: Luke use more force. But captain I've given her all I've got she can't take any more.